Sometimes, when a couple breaks up, the other party may find it hard to accept that the relationship is over. Most of the times, it is the guys who find it hard to accept that their girlfriend has left them so they start thinking of ways on how to get back together with ex girlfriend.
Men have a do-or-die and all-or-nothing attitude. It probably is common in how a man is programmed to act, talk, and behave. When he wants something, he will get it. He will find a way; use up all his resources just to get what he is after.
If he wants to get back with an ex girlfriend, expect that he will stop at nothing to achieve that goal. There is really nothing wrong with this. As a matter of fact, it is quite admirable because guys can show strength of character, perseverance, courage, and determination in these situations.
When you see a man in this particular scenario, you would feel good about the male species.
If you are one of those men who doesn't want to let her go, you should remember that in order to get back with an ex girlfriend, you first need to accept the fact that the break up has happened. You can't go to her and act like that thing has not occurred. She will be annoyed for sure.
Accepting what happened and letting her know that you have done it will make you look like a matured person. This is already a plus point on your part. She will feel better if you let her know that you accept her decision and that you hold no ill feelings.
Then, it's time for you to act out your plan. I am sure you have an idea as to what you need to do to get her back. What I have here are some things you need to avoid if you want to win her back.
Beg her to take you back! Desperation will lead you nowhere. It will only make you look like a loser.
Demand that she decides right away if she wants you back or not. Aggression, too, will not lead you anywhere. Yes, you used to be her boyfriend but that doesn't give you the right to command her and demand an answer from her. You need to respect her feelings.
Let your emotions take over. You have to get a hold of yourself. You will not be credible if you lose it and get carried away by your emotions or temper. She will be turned off for sure.
Think that everything will go back to the way it used to be. This is a major misconception. Do not think that things will be like how they used to-this is a major arrogant behavior. You have to show humility. Remember, you are trying to win her love back, so if you are showing signs of arrogance, she may just change her mind already and not give you any chance.
With these things to watch out for, you will be able to successfully get back with an ex girlfriend.
2012年9月22日星期六
The Body Language Of Flirting, Part 4
The next topic I'll be covering in this series is that of gestures, and their important in flirting.
Most of the time, men are focused on what they are going to say next, rather than pay attention to what is happening around them.
And that often leads to a blown attempt at a pick up!
So what part do our gestures play?
They go hand in hand with our posture, and are sending non verbal messages to the person we are focusing on. They show our interest in the other person, and likewise will show us if it's being reciprocated.
It also ties in with our energy levels - it's the way we put energy into the conversation. If you are lively, you will likely be more animated in your gestures than if you are preoccupied.
In this way, gestures (and the accompanying energy level) can be both a curse and a blessing. Poor energy, low level gestures can betray the words we speak. High energy, lively gestures are infectuous!
It's a do or don't situation. Either way, if you don't decide on what gestures to use, your mind will go ahead and do it for you. You can naturally get into a groove, but if you DON'T, then you have to change that yourself.
So what gestures can we learn to use that will come off as natural and spontaneous? That's a great question.
If you pay attention to two people in rapport, you'll notice that they are REALLY animated. They'll use their hands, sometimes pointing to emphasize, or nod their heads in agreement.
These are all great gestures! The main thing with these is that they will occur naturally when you get into rapport with another person.
There are many gestures you'll notice if you watch, but for now let's pay attention to the simplest of them - the nod. It may seem like nothing, but it is a tremendous conversation regulator! Master it and you will find it an effective method of gaining rapport as well.
The key is to use single quick nods, for the most part. They will be helpful in keeping someone talking to you.
Other nods are helpful in different ways, and some have the effect of interrupting the flow of the conversation. A quick double nod will speed up the conversation, while a triple nod or slow single nod will more than likely interrupt it. Keep away from those for most part.
Other gestures to watch for are nervous type gestures, such as hand clasping or wringing. Palm rubbing fits in this category. Again, they are infectuous; the other person might become anxious as well.
A controllable part of this trait is the DIRECTION which you point your hands. Poiting towards yourself heightens the nervousness. Pointing away from yourself actually shows confidence! You can guess which is better.
Make an effort to start using gestures that point outward. Over time they will become habit. As well, watch the gestures of the person you are flirting with - they are great indicators, and by having a stronger presence, you can actually put someone at ease with your gestures!
Another VERY powerful technique is to slowly synchronize your gestures with the person you are flirting with. Now, if things just naturally go right, it will probably happen anyhow, but by actually attempting to get into the flow, you are going to build a greater rapport than ANY words could possibly build!
This type of synchronization will allow you to take a nervous, awkward conversation and turn it around very quickly.
When it does happen, it's a sign of comfort. And from there, you can move on in your advances.
Work on these techniques - they are as powerful as any you will learn.
In the next article in this series, I'll talk about how your facial expressions have a powerful effect on your flirting technique!
Most of the time, men are focused on what they are going to say next, rather than pay attention to what is happening around them.
And that often leads to a blown attempt at a pick up!
So what part do our gestures play?
They go hand in hand with our posture, and are sending non verbal messages to the person we are focusing on. They show our interest in the other person, and likewise will show us if it's being reciprocated.
It also ties in with our energy levels - it's the way we put energy into the conversation. If you are lively, you will likely be more animated in your gestures than if you are preoccupied.
In this way, gestures (and the accompanying energy level) can be both a curse and a blessing. Poor energy, low level gestures can betray the words we speak. High energy, lively gestures are infectuous!
It's a do or don't situation. Either way, if you don't decide on what gestures to use, your mind will go ahead and do it for you. You can naturally get into a groove, but if you DON'T, then you have to change that yourself.
So what gestures can we learn to use that will come off as natural and spontaneous? That's a great question.
If you pay attention to two people in rapport, you'll notice that they are REALLY animated. They'll use their hands, sometimes pointing to emphasize, or nod their heads in agreement.
These are all great gestures! The main thing with these is that they will occur naturally when you get into rapport with another person.
There are many gestures you'll notice if you watch, but for now let's pay attention to the simplest of them - the nod. It may seem like nothing, but it is a tremendous conversation regulator! Master it and you will find it an effective method of gaining rapport as well.
The key is to use single quick nods, for the most part. They will be helpful in keeping someone talking to you.
Other nods are helpful in different ways, and some have the effect of interrupting the flow of the conversation. A quick double nod will speed up the conversation, while a triple nod or slow single nod will more than likely interrupt it. Keep away from those for most part.
Other gestures to watch for are nervous type gestures, such as hand clasping or wringing. Palm rubbing fits in this category. Again, they are infectuous; the other person might become anxious as well.
A controllable part of this trait is the DIRECTION which you point your hands. Poiting towards yourself heightens the nervousness. Pointing away from yourself actually shows confidence! You can guess which is better.
Make an effort to start using gestures that point outward. Over time they will become habit. As well, watch the gestures of the person you are flirting with - they are great indicators, and by having a stronger presence, you can actually put someone at ease with your gestures!
Another VERY powerful technique is to slowly synchronize your gestures with the person you are flirting with. Now, if things just naturally go right, it will probably happen anyhow, but by actually attempting to get into the flow, you are going to build a greater rapport than ANY words could possibly build!
This type of synchronization will allow you to take a nervous, awkward conversation and turn it around very quickly.
When it does happen, it's a sign of comfort. And from there, you can move on in your advances.
Work on these techniques - they are as powerful as any you will learn.
In the next article in this series, I'll talk about how your facial expressions have a powerful effect on your flirting technique!
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