Catholic How To Deal With a Bad First Date

Probably one of the worst parts about dating is that sinking feeling you get when you realize that your first date is not going well. It is even worse when the other person is clearly attracted to you but the feeling is not mutual. When is the best time to tell someone that you do not want to see them again? How can you do so without hurting their feelings?

During the Date

The best way to keep things cool while the date is happening is to avoid sending mixed messages. If your date compliments your appearance, thank them but do not return the compliment. It is important to be honest and sometimes the best way to send your message is by remaining silent.

When The Check Arrives

If you know that you do not plan on seeing this person again, it is best for you to pick up the check. Yes, even if you are the woman. Yes, even if you make less money. If you had not agreed before the date to split the check, grab the check as soon as it hits the table and insist on paying.

Why? If you allow your date to pay for you, then in a small way, they feel that you have accepted them. You now owe them something. If you turn them down, not only are they out a date, they are out the cost of your meal. It hurts twice as much.

If you pay, then you have the upper hand. If you then turn down a second date, the person will be upset, but they will not feel that you took a meal from them under false pretenses.

Saying Goodnight

Whatever you do, do not lie and say, "I will call you" or Let us do this again if you do not want to see the person again. It is just not a very Christian thing to do. End with a friendly hug and a neutral statement like "Thank you for a nice evening."

If your date flat out asks you when you would like to meet again, you have a choice. You can be honest and say that you did not feel the click that made you feel that there was chemistry. If you are too shy to say that in person, I recommend deflecting the question. Say you will have to check your schedule to see what you’re doing this coming week.

Saying No Via Email or Phone

For many people, it is more comfortable to turn someone down via email or the phone. Do not feel that you have to explain the hows or whys of your decision. Just say that you had a good time on the date but you feel like there was not a click that made you feel that you wanted to pursue a relationship with them. End by saying something nice about the person and reassuring them that there will be someone for them. Wish them luck in their search for love. Keep it short and sweet and above all, truthful. After all, you want to treat people the way you want to be treated.