Here's a situation I'm sure you've probably been in...
You meet a great girl, and you are instantly attracted to her. So you try to get to know her and start spending a lot of time with her.
You really want to become closer, but unfortunately, she says those dreaded words: "Let's just be friends."
Sigh.
Many a man has felt attraction toward a girl but didn't know how to proceed because it had already been established that he and she were "just friends." And as anyone who's been in that situation can tell you - when that happens, you have NO IDEA how to change it!
Most guys out there have been in a similar plight (at least I know I have!). Several years ago, however, I discovered a secret largely unknown by most men.
I realized the mistake most guys make is in thinking they have to coax a woman they are friends with into seeing them as a potential boyfriend before making a move on her.
Think of the guy, for example, who attentively watches and listens as his "gal pal" wails over her current love life, and then assures her that he'd make a better boyfriend than her current one.
Or, to take another example, think of the guy who's been friends with a woman for years and finally gets up the gall to tell her his true feelings.
Both of these are very common cases - and both of them are the WORST possible things you could do to if you actually want to get a result!
Why are both of these avenues so bad?
Because they don't meet the conditions set by the already established relationship boundaries! The ones that reflect that you are indeed "just friends".
You just can't change a girl's mind about being "just friends" through logic or melodramatic emotional confessions. It just doesn't work that way.
But here's where things take a bizarre turn for the better.
Many women have no qualms about sleeping with their guy friends. To many of these women, sleeping with a guy is less of a big deal than dating or becoming his girlfriend! (Strange, but true.)
Understand - women have needs too. Even women who explicitly tell you that they are only open to having a platonic relationship are probably more willing to go to bed with you than you think.
I should know. Most of the women I've been friends with whom explicitly stated that our relationship was strictly platonic, I ended up sleeping with.
When women tell men that they only want to be friends, most men feel a bit disappointed - and women pick up on this. And that creates a tension that ruins the friendship and puts her on guard when she's around.
When women say this to me, I always look relieved as I utter, "Thank God... I'm glad you realize that you don't have a chance with me."
Now, this is a funny way of diffusing the situation, but it's also a way of setting the proper frame that you're the one in the driver's seat.
See, the key to turning that "gal pal" into a full-blown "lady love" is to generate arousal with her, and then compel her to ACT on that arousal.
Don't in any way, shape or form try to persuade a woman you're friends with into dating you or considering you as her boyfriend. This may seem logical, but it is counter productive!
Try having as much fun around her as possible. At the same time, flirt! Make yourself attractive! It may take awhile but eventually she will be forced to see you in a different light. If you interest her enough, she'll see you the way you want her to.
If you are working with on an EMOTIONAL level, you will stand a very good chance of turning this into a relationship that you'll be satisfied with.
2012年8月31日星期五
The Body Language Of Flirting, Part 7
In the last article, I showed you how your facial expressions play a major part in flirting. In this article I'll show you how touching plays a part, and how it can skyrocket your success!
At one point, I think everyone has felt the exhilarating positive touch of a person of the opposite gender. She stares into your eyes, calmly placing a hand on your arm.
And the best part of it is - this type of touching can have a dramatic effect on women too!
Touching is a much evolved form of communication that has a surprising range of signals it can communicate - greeting, camaraderie, affection and agreement are just a few of the things that are communicated. The one we want to focus on, however, is attraction!
The first rule when it comes to touching is this: caution. A touch at the right time can be overwhelmingly powerful. At the wrong time it'll ruin your chance with the woman right out the gate.
After making your approach and beginning the conversation with the person of interest, a great way to touch is on the arm. The key is timing - it has to be done at the right time or you'll definitely get a "rejection notice' - she'll recoil, or show signs of anxiety.
So what is the right time? The key is having good rapport. If she's mirroring you, or you are heavily engaged in other flirtatious behavior, it's usually okay to do it. If you aren't sure, take the time to watch for more interest.
A simple touch on the arm will tell you how well you are doing with the girl. If she does show some anxiety, it generally means things are over. It's make or break, but better that than wasting your time.
If she responds positively, then it is a GREAT sign that you are on the right track.
So what do you do next? Allow the other parts of flirting to escalate - your gesture, eye movements, and keep smiling. After that, REPEAT the hand touch.
This is important. It acts as a guide - is the interest still high? And you'll send an unconscious signal to her - it is akin to saying "are you sure?"
If she responds well, you can move on. And it's doubtful that she'll respond in the negative. It might just be not as positive as it was earlier - if that happens, tone things down again and try again later.
If it's positive again, you can amp it up to something far more powerful... touching her hand. It's far more powerful than a touch on the arm. If THIS action is positive... then it is safe to assume that you are doing VERY well. If not, then back off, tone things down.
If she was positive to the arm touches, and not the hand touch, then generally you escalated too fast. The key too making sure that doesn't happen is with emotional/physical tension and arousal.
Build it with other ways of flirting, like you were earlier. You can also physically brush against her with her body. If she's doing that to you herself, it's another great sign.
If she responds well to a hand touch, gauge from there. Moving closer is probably okay. And as before, REPEAT the touch. After that, you have been given enough signals to know that you are heading in the right direction with your flirting.
In a nutshell, if it happens... she's probably yours!
Practice this! It's a major key to your success when it comes to women, particularly in the flirting stage.
In the final article on non verbal flirting, I'll show you how vocal signals have an enormous effect on how we effect people, and how we can use this to great success!
At one point, I think everyone has felt the exhilarating positive touch of a person of the opposite gender. She stares into your eyes, calmly placing a hand on your arm.
And the best part of it is - this type of touching can have a dramatic effect on women too!
Touching is a much evolved form of communication that has a surprising range of signals it can communicate - greeting, camaraderie, affection and agreement are just a few of the things that are communicated. The one we want to focus on, however, is attraction!
The first rule when it comes to touching is this: caution. A touch at the right time can be overwhelmingly powerful. At the wrong time it'll ruin your chance with the woman right out the gate.
After making your approach and beginning the conversation with the person of interest, a great way to touch is on the arm. The key is timing - it has to be done at the right time or you'll definitely get a "rejection notice' - she'll recoil, or show signs of anxiety.
So what is the right time? The key is having good rapport. If she's mirroring you, or you are heavily engaged in other flirtatious behavior, it's usually okay to do it. If you aren't sure, take the time to watch for more interest.
A simple touch on the arm will tell you how well you are doing with the girl. If she does show some anxiety, it generally means things are over. It's make or break, but better that than wasting your time.
If she responds positively, then it is a GREAT sign that you are on the right track.
So what do you do next? Allow the other parts of flirting to escalate - your gesture, eye movements, and keep smiling. After that, REPEAT the hand touch.
This is important. It acts as a guide - is the interest still high? And you'll send an unconscious signal to her - it is akin to saying "are you sure?"
If she responds well, you can move on. And it's doubtful that she'll respond in the negative. It might just be not as positive as it was earlier - if that happens, tone things down again and try again later.
If it's positive again, you can amp it up to something far more powerful... touching her hand. It's far more powerful than a touch on the arm. If THIS action is positive... then it is safe to assume that you are doing VERY well. If not, then back off, tone things down.
If she was positive to the arm touches, and not the hand touch, then generally you escalated too fast. The key too making sure that doesn't happen is with emotional/physical tension and arousal.
Build it with other ways of flirting, like you were earlier. You can also physically brush against her with her body. If she's doing that to you herself, it's another great sign.
If she responds well to a hand touch, gauge from there. Moving closer is probably okay. And as before, REPEAT the touch. After that, you have been given enough signals to know that you are heading in the right direction with your flirting.
In a nutshell, if it happens... she's probably yours!
Practice this! It's a major key to your success when it comes to women, particularly in the flirting stage.
In the final article on non verbal flirting, I'll show you how vocal signals have an enormous effect on how we effect people, and how we can use this to great success!
How Do You Know She Is Approachable?
Let's face it - having to approach women is a real pain. In fact, it's so much of a pain, if you were to ask the average guy, they'd much rather the woman approach them if she's interested!
It'd be much easier, right? She comes up and it's all taken care of. Let her deal with the idea of rejection. Yes, that would work... in a perfect world.
The truth of the matter is, very few women want to put themselves in the position of being rejected.
That's not to say the occasional assertive woman won't come up and approach a guy. But these are few and far between. Not only that, if you're not her physical type, she won't approach you at all!
So being in the position of approaching women is actually preferable, because you get to pick the girl you want to approach!
The problem comes from the fact that most guys approach the wrong women. They are oblivious to what the woman is thinking and feeling, and whether or not she's opened to be approached at all.
This is the main cause of rejection when approaching.
So you need to start being aware of the signals women give off that let you know they're open to being approached by you. Sometimes these signals are obvious. Other times, they can be very subtle. But either way, you need to know how to spot them.
Women generally act in a far more covert way than us men. They don't come outright and say that they are interested; instead, they send out signals that let us know they are.
If you miss these signals, they'll just think you're not interested, even if you are! So spotting them is crucial.
Look for strong eye contact and smiles in your direction. These are subtle things. Look at if she's playing with her hair when she looks at you, or if she's tilting your head.
Some women will do other things to attract a man's attention that aren't as subtle. Maybe she'll wave at you? Wink at you? Raise an eyebrow? Make an excuse to walk past you or stand near you? Or she might strike up a conversation with one of your friends.
When you spot these signals, you MUST make your move and act on them. Don't wait around expecting her to initiate the contact, because she won't. She's waiting to see if you're confident enough to approach her. If not, she'll just move on to another guy.
It's not that women CAN'T initiate a meeting. If she's not interested in you romantically, she may walk right up, shake your hand, introduce herself and get down to business.
But when it comes to romance, it's a completely different issue, and here's why.
Women associate aggressive men with strong mates. That's not to say they're looking for a juiced-up freak who won't leave them alone! But they are looking for a guy with enough confidence to take the first steps.
If you don't, you'll be written off, it's as simple as that. So instead of waiting around hoping she'll make the first move, take a chance and go after her.
Try it and thank me later.
It'd be much easier, right? She comes up and it's all taken care of. Let her deal with the idea of rejection. Yes, that would work... in a perfect world.
The truth of the matter is, very few women want to put themselves in the position of being rejected.
That's not to say the occasional assertive woman won't come up and approach a guy. But these are few and far between. Not only that, if you're not her physical type, she won't approach you at all!
So being in the position of approaching women is actually preferable, because you get to pick the girl you want to approach!
The problem comes from the fact that most guys approach the wrong women. They are oblivious to what the woman is thinking and feeling, and whether or not she's opened to be approached at all.
This is the main cause of rejection when approaching.
So you need to start being aware of the signals women give off that let you know they're open to being approached by you. Sometimes these signals are obvious. Other times, they can be very subtle. But either way, you need to know how to spot them.
Women generally act in a far more covert way than us men. They don't come outright and say that they are interested; instead, they send out signals that let us know they are.
If you miss these signals, they'll just think you're not interested, even if you are! So spotting them is crucial.
Look for strong eye contact and smiles in your direction. These are subtle things. Look at if she's playing with her hair when she looks at you, or if she's tilting your head.
Some women will do other things to attract a man's attention that aren't as subtle. Maybe she'll wave at you? Wink at you? Raise an eyebrow? Make an excuse to walk past you or stand near you? Or she might strike up a conversation with one of your friends.
When you spot these signals, you MUST make your move and act on them. Don't wait around expecting her to initiate the contact, because she won't. She's waiting to see if you're confident enough to approach her. If not, she'll just move on to another guy.
It's not that women CAN'T initiate a meeting. If she's not interested in you romantically, she may walk right up, shake your hand, introduce herself and get down to business.
But when it comes to romance, it's a completely different issue, and here's why.
Women associate aggressive men with strong mates. That's not to say they're looking for a juiced-up freak who won't leave them alone! But they are looking for a guy with enough confidence to take the first steps.
If you don't, you'll be written off, it's as simple as that. So instead of waiting around hoping she'll make the first move, take a chance and go after her.
Try it and thank me later.
Easing the Pain of a Breakup
Sometimes in life we encounter experiences of such magnitude that they threaten to take over our lives. The death of a loved one or a serious illness, these are obvious experiences. But sometimes people underestimate the destructive power of a breakup with the one you love. It hits you as an appalling shock and you find yourself drowning in a tide of conflicting emotions: guilt, anger, pain, regret and bewilderment. You didn’t see this coming and it’s left you in pieces
It’s only too easy at such a time to let this catastrophe propel you into an irreversible decline. Misery breeds misery and before you know it, every part of your life is falling apart. So you need to take control as quickly as you can and adopt some simple strategies for dealing with the pain. You need to make two resolutions, immediately.
One is to make sure you stay active, fit and healthy. If you feel physically good then strong a mental health will follow. Rediscover the sheer endorphin fuelled pleasure of a good workout. And thanks to the MP3 player, even half an hour on the treadmill can feel like your own private dance party. Just be careful of the music you choose. It should be upbeat and positive.
The second is to promise yourself not to neglect your friends and family. They’re the greatest source of support you’ve got. Spend time with them. You don’t have to go over the bones of your breakup with them. Just talk, laugh and enjoy some good times together. As soon as you re-engage with people who love you and care about you, you’ll start to realize there’s a lot more to your life than you imagined.
So, don’t let misery get its claws in you. Take back your life and enjoy the thrill of moving on.
It’s only too easy at such a time to let this catastrophe propel you into an irreversible decline. Misery breeds misery and before you know it, every part of your life is falling apart. So you need to take control as quickly as you can and adopt some simple strategies for dealing with the pain. You need to make two resolutions, immediately.
One is to make sure you stay active, fit and healthy. If you feel physically good then strong a mental health will follow. Rediscover the sheer endorphin fuelled pleasure of a good workout. And thanks to the MP3 player, even half an hour on the treadmill can feel like your own private dance party. Just be careful of the music you choose. It should be upbeat and positive.
The second is to promise yourself not to neglect your friends and family. They’re the greatest source of support you’ve got. Spend time with them. You don’t have to go over the bones of your breakup with them. Just talk, laugh and enjoy some good times together. As soon as you re-engage with people who love you and care about you, you’ll start to realize there’s a lot more to your life than you imagined.
So, don’t let misery get its claws in you. Take back your life and enjoy the thrill of moving on.
2012年8月30日星期四
Swinger Travel - A Pleasure Getaway
If you wish to enjoy sexual as well as mental pleasures, and then book your tickets for the swinger travel and enjoy life to the hilt.
Swinger couples and singles are the ones who love to enjoy erotic sexual activities. Earlier, these practices happened in closed environment because the society couldn't accept the lifestyle. People met at their homes and enjoyed sexual activities.
Eventually, people started accepting the lifestyle. More and more people started swinging with their spouses. This supported the establishment of swinger communities and clubs in the localities. People started enrolling themselves with the clubs and enjoyed swinging activities.
Now, the trend has shifted to swinger travel. People take a break from day to day activities and plan vacations to swinger resorts and clubs. This lifestyle travel is open to people with different sexual orientations. So, whether you are a heterosexual or bisexual, you can swing into the lifestyle and relish your fantasies with multiple partners.
Nowadays, you can find several swinger travel destinations. You can plan a vacation to Desire Riviera Maya resort or a Hedonist resort. If you are interested in enjoying sexual activities on a deck with deep blue sea around you, then you can plan a travel to swinger cruise. You can also book a private yacht to plan a swinger travel for your friends.
You can book these swinger tickets from an online travel portal. These portals provide you with detailed information about the cruise or resort. They give you information about the swinger activities, facilities and entertainment modes provided at the destination. Some travel portals can also drop the tickets at your home.
However, you need to do some homework before a swinger travel. Newbie swingers should collect information about the swinger etiquettes and behavior. Don't forget to keep some clothes for parties and events because the travel is not only about sex.
So, make sure that the swinger travel is the most memorable experience of your life.
Swinger couples and singles are the ones who love to enjoy erotic sexual activities. Earlier, these practices happened in closed environment because the society couldn't accept the lifestyle. People met at their homes and enjoyed sexual activities.
Eventually, people started accepting the lifestyle. More and more people started swinging with their spouses. This supported the establishment of swinger communities and clubs in the localities. People started enrolling themselves with the clubs and enjoyed swinging activities.
Now, the trend has shifted to swinger travel. People take a break from day to day activities and plan vacations to swinger resorts and clubs. This lifestyle travel is open to people with different sexual orientations. So, whether you are a heterosexual or bisexual, you can swing into the lifestyle and relish your fantasies with multiple partners.
Nowadays, you can find several swinger travel destinations. You can plan a vacation to Desire Riviera Maya resort or a Hedonist resort. If you are interested in enjoying sexual activities on a deck with deep blue sea around you, then you can plan a travel to swinger cruise. You can also book a private yacht to plan a swinger travel for your friends.
You can book these swinger tickets from an online travel portal. These portals provide you with detailed information about the cruise or resort. They give you information about the swinger activities, facilities and entertainment modes provided at the destination. Some travel portals can also drop the tickets at your home.
However, you need to do some homework before a swinger travel. Newbie swingers should collect information about the swinger etiquettes and behavior. Don't forget to keep some clothes for parties and events because the travel is not only about sex.
So, make sure that the swinger travel is the most memorable experience of your life.
Starting Conversations With Women
Most guys are afraid to approach women and start conversations.
Saying the word "ice breaker" reaffirms this. You are under the assumption that the woman in question is going to respond in an icy manner.
In fact, most men just assume that girls don't want to talk to them! They feel like they are "bothering" a girl by approaching her, and chances are, they'll get rejected.
The truth is that most women are actually open and receptive to being approached by a good man, and are happy to engage in conversation!
This may go against what most men think, but it's the honest truth. As long as a guy isn't desperate, needy, or creepy, he can successfully approach and start a conversation with almost any woman.
Just remember that most women will respond somewhere in the range of "neutral" to "positive" if you say almost ANYTHING to them. In fact, you have to work really hard to get a bad reaction from a woman!
Ways to get a bad reaction from a woman:
1.) Trying to start a conversation by acting nervous or scared. This will creep women out and make them want to distance themselves from you. Try and be confident when talking to women.
2.) Use a terrible pick up line. They may seem funny, but in the scheme of dating, they are just bad. Avoid them.
3.) Being too aggressive. Women certainly don't like being objectified. If you cross the line with your flirting, you'll insult her.
As long as you can keep from doing these three things, you'll be safely in the "neutral" to "positive" range with a woman.
This means - whatever you say to start the conversation will more than likely work! Just be sure you ask an engaging question, and not just a "yes or no" question. Also, stay away from the boring topics all guys use, like "What's your name?" and "What do you do?"
Instead, try asking her opinion on something. What you're wearing for instance. Girls love to give advice. Ask her about something timely that's going on in pop culture - what celebrity is dating who? Ask her about the arts - I have yet to meet a girl who doesn't like music!
Just make sure that whatever you ask the girl will lead into a deeper conversation, because that will help you break through any hesitancy to talk.
That should get you started.
The point is that there's a way to put yourself in a situation that naturally and easily sparks conversations. You just need to be ready when it happens.
And sometimes, a girl will just not want to talk. Don't worry, it's about numbers. You'll find most are open to talking to you about nearly anything.
This kind of thing should help you get past the fear and hesitation to start conversations with beautiful women.
Saying the word "ice breaker" reaffirms this. You are under the assumption that the woman in question is going to respond in an icy manner.
In fact, most men just assume that girls don't want to talk to them! They feel like they are "bothering" a girl by approaching her, and chances are, they'll get rejected.
The truth is that most women are actually open and receptive to being approached by a good man, and are happy to engage in conversation!
This may go against what most men think, but it's the honest truth. As long as a guy isn't desperate, needy, or creepy, he can successfully approach and start a conversation with almost any woman.
Just remember that most women will respond somewhere in the range of "neutral" to "positive" if you say almost ANYTHING to them. In fact, you have to work really hard to get a bad reaction from a woman!
Ways to get a bad reaction from a woman:
1.) Trying to start a conversation by acting nervous or scared. This will creep women out and make them want to distance themselves from you. Try and be confident when talking to women.
2.) Use a terrible pick up line. They may seem funny, but in the scheme of dating, they are just bad. Avoid them.
3.) Being too aggressive. Women certainly don't like being objectified. If you cross the line with your flirting, you'll insult her.
As long as you can keep from doing these three things, you'll be safely in the "neutral" to "positive" range with a woman.
This means - whatever you say to start the conversation will more than likely work! Just be sure you ask an engaging question, and not just a "yes or no" question. Also, stay away from the boring topics all guys use, like "What's your name?" and "What do you do?"
Instead, try asking her opinion on something. What you're wearing for instance. Girls love to give advice. Ask her about something timely that's going on in pop culture - what celebrity is dating who? Ask her about the arts - I have yet to meet a girl who doesn't like music!
Just make sure that whatever you ask the girl will lead into a deeper conversation, because that will help you break through any hesitancy to talk.
That should get you started.
The point is that there's a way to put yourself in a situation that naturally and easily sparks conversations. You just need to be ready when it happens.
And sometimes, a girl will just not want to talk. Don't worry, it's about numbers. You'll find most are open to talking to you about nearly anything.
This kind of thing should help you get past the fear and hesitation to start conversations with beautiful women.
Being Prepared For Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day has come and gone this year. How was it for you? Was it a good, or a bad experience? Did you spend time with that special girl?
If things went well, then good! May it continue throughout the rest of the year for you!
If the night was more on the bad side, or just flat out didn't happen, then let's see what we can do for the next time it comes around.
The budding question is: What can I do in one year to improve my chances of having a wonderful date for next year, and possible a great girl friend that I can spend a lot of time with? Ask yourself that.
I prefer a three part attack. The three parts are as follows - myself, my interactions with others, and my social circle. I'll get into each of them, and you can analyze each factor, and see how you can improve.
The first part is yourself. There are abundant ways to improve the self. An entire industry worth, in fact. Let's look at what can make you more attractive and improve your chance with women, however.
You can improve your looks, more than likely. Are you in shape? This well help you. A well toned body is good. It's NOT paramount in success with women. But it can help your odds dramatically, and that is what we are looking for. Take up a simple exercise class, three times a week. Or try to spend time outdoors. walk, jog, bike. Weightlifting can help too by raising your testosterone.
Are you up to date with fashion? Look at how you dress. Are your clothes several years old? How about your hairstyle? Start with your hair. Go to a good hairstylist, and see what he or she can do for you. Take the inspiration you'll get from a decent hair style and translate it into a good look.
Go to a department store, and TAKE YOUR TIME trying on clothes. This is so important. You need to get a feel of what looks good on you.
There are several internal factors you can improve, namely your self confidence and self esteem. Improving these issues is a whole set of articles. Go to my website. I can help you there, and I guarantee you that improving these two things will make your success skyrocket.
Improving any of the above mentioned things will literally force the world to see you differently.
The second part is to improve your interactions with others. Again, it's beyond the scope of this article in regards to really solving any issues, but let's take a quick look at what can help you immediately.
Take the time to think about how you are addressing others. Is your voice resonant? Do you stand up straight? Do you look others in the eye when you address them? Do you have a firm handshake?
For your voice, I'd recommend buying a book or audio set. Take the time to follow the instructions, and really see if you can make your voice more resonant. Another recommendation would be a voice coach, if you can afford one and feel like you have a real issue.
For posture, see if you can take a workshop or some classes of yoga, Alexander Technique, or Feldenkrais method. Any of these will go a long way of helping you create a healthy posture, and allowing you to move more youthfully. And believe me, that's a big part of attraction. Watch a middle aged person move for 10 minutes. Then watch a 20 year old woman.
The other parts are easy. Practice looking other people in the eye while addressing them. Hold their gaze a little too long. They might look away. It's okay, go a bit outside of your comfort zone. The idea is to expand it.
With the handshake, just practice being firm. Easy enough, right? It will translate later on into greater self esteem, or the appearance thereof.
The last thing you should work on is to improve your social circle. The idea is to expand it. It's fairly easy - go out to places you don't normally go. Exposure to new social circles will allow the chance to meet more people. It takes some effort but you can expand your friend base exponentially in a few months if you try.
There it is. Get to it! Next time this year, you might even have a hard time choosing from many dates! Good luck!
If things went well, then good! May it continue throughout the rest of the year for you!
If the night was more on the bad side, or just flat out didn't happen, then let's see what we can do for the next time it comes around.
The budding question is: What can I do in one year to improve my chances of having a wonderful date for next year, and possible a great girl friend that I can spend a lot of time with? Ask yourself that.
I prefer a three part attack. The three parts are as follows - myself, my interactions with others, and my social circle. I'll get into each of them, and you can analyze each factor, and see how you can improve.
The first part is yourself. There are abundant ways to improve the self. An entire industry worth, in fact. Let's look at what can make you more attractive and improve your chance with women, however.
You can improve your looks, more than likely. Are you in shape? This well help you. A well toned body is good. It's NOT paramount in success with women. But it can help your odds dramatically, and that is what we are looking for. Take up a simple exercise class, three times a week. Or try to spend time outdoors. walk, jog, bike. Weightlifting can help too by raising your testosterone.
Are you up to date with fashion? Look at how you dress. Are your clothes several years old? How about your hairstyle? Start with your hair. Go to a good hairstylist, and see what he or she can do for you. Take the inspiration you'll get from a decent hair style and translate it into a good look.
Go to a department store, and TAKE YOUR TIME trying on clothes. This is so important. You need to get a feel of what looks good on you.
There are several internal factors you can improve, namely your self confidence and self esteem. Improving these issues is a whole set of articles. Go to my website. I can help you there, and I guarantee you that improving these two things will make your success skyrocket.
Improving any of the above mentioned things will literally force the world to see you differently.
The second part is to improve your interactions with others. Again, it's beyond the scope of this article in regards to really solving any issues, but let's take a quick look at what can help you immediately.
Take the time to think about how you are addressing others. Is your voice resonant? Do you stand up straight? Do you look others in the eye when you address them? Do you have a firm handshake?
For your voice, I'd recommend buying a book or audio set. Take the time to follow the instructions, and really see if you can make your voice more resonant. Another recommendation would be a voice coach, if you can afford one and feel like you have a real issue.
For posture, see if you can take a workshop or some classes of yoga, Alexander Technique, or Feldenkrais method. Any of these will go a long way of helping you create a healthy posture, and allowing you to move more youthfully. And believe me, that's a big part of attraction. Watch a middle aged person move for 10 minutes. Then watch a 20 year old woman.
The other parts are easy. Practice looking other people in the eye while addressing them. Hold their gaze a little too long. They might look away. It's okay, go a bit outside of your comfort zone. The idea is to expand it.
With the handshake, just practice being firm. Easy enough, right? It will translate later on into greater self esteem, or the appearance thereof.
The last thing you should work on is to improve your social circle. The idea is to expand it. It's fairly easy - go out to places you don't normally go. Exposure to new social circles will allow the chance to meet more people. It takes some effort but you can expand your friend base exponentially in a few months if you try.
There it is. Get to it! Next time this year, you might even have a hard time choosing from many dates! Good luck!
How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back: 5 Simple Steps To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back To Your Arms
Breaking up with your girlfriend is never a pleasant and easy affair. Learning how to get your ex girlfriend back… now that’s going to be more of a challenge. But the rewards are many times worth the whole ordeal.
If you really want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back, you’ll have to be prepared to give it all your all. No half-baked efforts here, and certainly no thinking twice about going through with the plan.
If you have decided - once and for all - that you really want to patch things up with your girl, I advise you to consider these suggestions very carefully.
Step 1 on How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back: Figure Out What Went Wrong.
You can’t just say sorry and expect your relationship to be peachy again. As difficult as it is for some men to actually deal with the problem, you’re going to have to brave through all the serious conversations and relationship talk. Think of it as a way of reconnecting with your girl.
Find out what she doesn’t like about your actions or behavior. If you really love her, decide if the advantages of adapting to her ways far outweigh the changes you have to make. There’s no sense changing your way of life for your ex girlfriend if your freedom will be restricted.
Step 2 on How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back: Be Thoughtful.
Once you have started talking, it’s not such a bad idea to become more thoughtful. The next time she invites you over, bring flowers. Or better yet, bring food.
Don’t be too aggressive with the presents though, because it just might make your girl suspicious. The best time to start giving gifts would probably be after you two have sorted your differences out.
Step 3 on How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back: Declare Your Feelings For Her Again.
You must have confessed to her how you were feeling before you two got together, but perhaps it’s time to tell her those sweet and honest words once more.
Remember how earnest and hopeful you were when you were first courting or dating her? Bring those same intense emotions back.
You don’t have to say or do the same things exactly. Create some unique romantic twists and make it even more special than the first time.
Step 4 on How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back: Treat The People Around Her With Respect.
Her friends and her family have a real influence on whether your girl should get back together with you or not.
If you really want to get your ex girlfriend back in your arms, you’re going to have to show the people around her that you’re worth giving the relationship another try.
Establish a deep connection and bond with everyone she knows, and they will support (or even help) you get her back once again.
Step 5 on How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back: Don’t Rush.
Don’t push her to decide when she’s clearly not ready. If you push her too soon or too much, you risk losing her for good. If you want to get her back, so you have to be patient and let the process run its course.
Women are attracted to guys who are persistent. Show her that you’re willing to make sacrifices and wait for the appropriate moment.
Like I said, it’s not that easy to get your ex girlfriend back. Reconciliation does not happen in a snap either. But if you really love her, then you know she’s worth everything.
If you really want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back, you’ll have to be prepared to give it all your all. No half-baked efforts here, and certainly no thinking twice about going through with the plan.
If you have decided - once and for all - that you really want to patch things up with your girl, I advise you to consider these suggestions very carefully.
Step 1 on How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back: Figure Out What Went Wrong.
You can’t just say sorry and expect your relationship to be peachy again. As difficult as it is for some men to actually deal with the problem, you’re going to have to brave through all the serious conversations and relationship talk. Think of it as a way of reconnecting with your girl.
Find out what she doesn’t like about your actions or behavior. If you really love her, decide if the advantages of adapting to her ways far outweigh the changes you have to make. There’s no sense changing your way of life for your ex girlfriend if your freedom will be restricted.
Step 2 on How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back: Be Thoughtful.
Once you have started talking, it’s not such a bad idea to become more thoughtful. The next time she invites you over, bring flowers. Or better yet, bring food.
Don’t be too aggressive with the presents though, because it just might make your girl suspicious. The best time to start giving gifts would probably be after you two have sorted your differences out.
Step 3 on How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back: Declare Your Feelings For Her Again.
You must have confessed to her how you were feeling before you two got together, but perhaps it’s time to tell her those sweet and honest words once more.
Remember how earnest and hopeful you were when you were first courting or dating her? Bring those same intense emotions back.
You don’t have to say or do the same things exactly. Create some unique romantic twists and make it even more special than the first time.
Step 4 on How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back: Treat The People Around Her With Respect.
Her friends and her family have a real influence on whether your girl should get back together with you or not.
If you really want to get your ex girlfriend back in your arms, you’re going to have to show the people around her that you’re worth giving the relationship another try.
Establish a deep connection and bond with everyone she knows, and they will support (or even help) you get her back once again.
Step 5 on How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back: Don’t Rush.
Don’t push her to decide when she’s clearly not ready. If you push her too soon or too much, you risk losing her for good. If you want to get her back, so you have to be patient and let the process run its course.
Women are attracted to guys who are persistent. Show her that you’re willing to make sacrifices and wait for the appropriate moment.
Like I said, it’s not that easy to get your ex girlfriend back. Reconciliation does not happen in a snap either. But if you really love her, then you know she’s worth everything.
2012年8月29日星期三
Afraid of Blushing on Your Wedding Day?
Your wedding day is the most exciting day of your life and should not be spoiled by nerves in any shape or form. And yet this is what so often happens. The bride is afraid of blushing or of her voice becoming high pitched as she makes her vows. The groom, on the other hand, just cannot relax until the dreaded speech is over. What a shame! Both bride and groom should be able to enjoy every single moment of this special day. The focus should be upon being blissfully in love and the planning of a future together.
The fact is that not everyone enjoys being in the spotlight, not everyone has become acclimatized to being the centre of attention. Every bride and groom, however, is going to be in just this spotlight. You know that these people who are here to share your day are friends and family, people who you know well and yet this doesn't seem to help overcome the worries. In fact for many it simply served to make the worry more intense. You don't want to make a fool of yourself in front of anyone at all.
For anyone who blushes, this is the most annoying and frustrating thing. It just happens. Logically you know that you are comfortable and then whoosh, the blush appears. Blushing is in fact an automatic habit, and this instinctive reaction is almost always something that began as a child and has simply remained. It is an out-dated habit, but it just happens. And if you worry about it happening it happens all the more. Of course, on your wedding day, you want everything to be perfect and so you worry more than ever about blushing.
But help is at hand. As I said, blushing is just a habit. Just as habits can be learned, they can be un-learned too, so long as you go about it in the right way. Hypnosis is a great, and essential, tool in the ability to change a habit. Your conscious and logical mind knows that there is no need to blush, and the harder you try not to blush, the more in fact you do blush. It seems that your conscious and logical efforts create the exact opposite of that which you desire.
This is because of the "mechanics" of your mind. Where there is a conflict between your will power and your imagination, your imagination wins. Think now of what happens in your mind when you tell yourself not to blush. What pictures immediately sprang into your awareness? Hypnosis is a state of relaxation, and as you learn to use hypnosis you will learn how to relax in an instant, whenever you want to or whenever you feel that you need to.
But this is not all that hypnosis does. Hypnosis is a state of mind which allows access to your subconscious mind, the place where habits are stored. Thus powerful hypnotic suggestions can be made to change old habits and replace them with new. This is why I said before that habits can be un-learned. Also, when in hypnosis, the creative part of your mind comes to the fore and you can be guided to visualize yourself as you want to be. In hypnosis, you can mentally rehearse, and therefore create a deep-rooted expectation of yourself being as you want to be, free from blushing. You can learn to visualize yourself relaxed, calm and comfortable upon your wedding day.
Your fear may not be of blushing, it may instead be of trembling or shaking, or of getting tongue tied. Whatever your fears are they can be alleviated with the help of hypnosis downloads. You can be guided to release your worries and to pave the way for a wonderful and exciting wedding day.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads for your wedding day bliss.
http://www.RoseannaLeaton.com
The fact is that not everyone enjoys being in the spotlight, not everyone has become acclimatized to being the centre of attention. Every bride and groom, however, is going to be in just this spotlight. You know that these people who are here to share your day are friends and family, people who you know well and yet this doesn't seem to help overcome the worries. In fact for many it simply served to make the worry more intense. You don't want to make a fool of yourself in front of anyone at all.
For anyone who blushes, this is the most annoying and frustrating thing. It just happens. Logically you know that you are comfortable and then whoosh, the blush appears. Blushing is in fact an automatic habit, and this instinctive reaction is almost always something that began as a child and has simply remained. It is an out-dated habit, but it just happens. And if you worry about it happening it happens all the more. Of course, on your wedding day, you want everything to be perfect and so you worry more than ever about blushing.
But help is at hand. As I said, blushing is just a habit. Just as habits can be learned, they can be un-learned too, so long as you go about it in the right way. Hypnosis is a great, and essential, tool in the ability to change a habit. Your conscious and logical mind knows that there is no need to blush, and the harder you try not to blush, the more in fact you do blush. It seems that your conscious and logical efforts create the exact opposite of that which you desire.
This is because of the "mechanics" of your mind. Where there is a conflict between your will power and your imagination, your imagination wins. Think now of what happens in your mind when you tell yourself not to blush. What pictures immediately sprang into your awareness? Hypnosis is a state of relaxation, and as you learn to use hypnosis you will learn how to relax in an instant, whenever you want to or whenever you feel that you need to.
But this is not all that hypnosis does. Hypnosis is a state of mind which allows access to your subconscious mind, the place where habits are stored. Thus powerful hypnotic suggestions can be made to change old habits and replace them with new. This is why I said before that habits can be un-learned. Also, when in hypnosis, the creative part of your mind comes to the fore and you can be guided to visualize yourself as you want to be. In hypnosis, you can mentally rehearse, and therefore create a deep-rooted expectation of yourself being as you want to be, free from blushing. You can learn to visualize yourself relaxed, calm and comfortable upon your wedding day.
Your fear may not be of blushing, it may instead be of trembling or shaking, or of getting tongue tied. Whatever your fears are they can be alleviated with the help of hypnosis downloads. You can be guided to release your worries and to pave the way for a wonderful and exciting wedding day.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads for your wedding day bliss.
http://www.RoseannaLeaton.com
Relationships: The Dance of Victims and Perpetrators
"He is always blaming me for the bad things that happen in his life, and then he tells me it's my controlling him that is making him so angry. He yells at me and puts me down rather than deal with his own feelings. How can I get him to see that he is the one trying to control me? How can I get him to take responsibility for his own feelings rather than keep on dumping them on me?"
Lillian was clearly feeling victimized by her husband Rob.
It is always amazing to me when a person who is blaming their partner for blaming them does not realize that they both are trying to control each other - that they are both blaming!
"Lillian, when you are trying to get Rob to see what he is doing that you don't like, aren't you also trying to control him?"
"Oh…..Oh, I never thought of it that way. I just thought that if I could get him to see that he is blaming me, maybe he would stop and deal with himself."
"But aren't you blaming him for blaming you?
"Yes, I guess I am! So when he says I am trying to control him, he's right?"
"Yes! Anytime you blame someone for your feelings, you are trying to control them. The two of you just do it differently. He does it with his anger and meanness, while you do it with your logic and explanations. He gets angry at your debating, and you debate when he gets angry. It is a circle between you - each of you reacting to the other with your own ways of trying to control."
"Yes, but he…"
"Lillian, you are about to do it again. You want to complain about him rather than look at what you are doing and what you need to do differently to take loving care of your own feelings. Your eyes are constantly on him - on how he feels and how he acts and what he needs to do differently. Because he is the angry one, he seems to be the perpetrator and you seem to be the victim. But he could just as easily claim that you are the perpetrator with your constant nagging at him, which he feels victimized by."
"But I just want him to hear my feelings - to understand how his behavior makes me feel."
"Aren't you wanting him to understand your feelings so that he will change? Isn't telling him your feelings a way to make him responsible for your feelings? Isn't this just another form of control?"
"Oh my God, I can see that! I didn't know I was doing that!"
"Lillian, until you get your eyes off him and think about how to take loving care of yourself in the face of his anger, you will continue to feel like a victim and try to control him into changing. It hasn't worked for the 20 years of your marriage. What makes you think it is ever going to work?"
"I didn't know what else to do. I've been so miserable. I thought the only other thing I could do is leave and I don't want to leave. I love him."
"Yes, I know you love him. So leaving is not an option and neither is changing him. It's time to control what you can control, which is you. I suggest that when he is yelling at you, taking loving care of yourself would mean disengaging - not getting into it with him while keeping your heart open - and go do something you enjoy doing. Are you willing to practice doing this?"
"Yes!"
Lillian was clearly feeling victimized by her husband Rob.
It is always amazing to me when a person who is blaming their partner for blaming them does not realize that they both are trying to control each other - that they are both blaming!
"Lillian, when you are trying to get Rob to see what he is doing that you don't like, aren't you also trying to control him?"
"Oh…..Oh, I never thought of it that way. I just thought that if I could get him to see that he is blaming me, maybe he would stop and deal with himself."
"But aren't you blaming him for blaming you?
"Yes, I guess I am! So when he says I am trying to control him, he's right?"
"Yes! Anytime you blame someone for your feelings, you are trying to control them. The two of you just do it differently. He does it with his anger and meanness, while you do it with your logic and explanations. He gets angry at your debating, and you debate when he gets angry. It is a circle between you - each of you reacting to the other with your own ways of trying to control."
"Yes, but he…"
"Lillian, you are about to do it again. You want to complain about him rather than look at what you are doing and what you need to do differently to take loving care of your own feelings. Your eyes are constantly on him - on how he feels and how he acts and what he needs to do differently. Because he is the angry one, he seems to be the perpetrator and you seem to be the victim. But he could just as easily claim that you are the perpetrator with your constant nagging at him, which he feels victimized by."
"But I just want him to hear my feelings - to understand how his behavior makes me feel."
"Aren't you wanting him to understand your feelings so that he will change? Isn't telling him your feelings a way to make him responsible for your feelings? Isn't this just another form of control?"
"Oh my God, I can see that! I didn't know I was doing that!"
"Lillian, until you get your eyes off him and think about how to take loving care of yourself in the face of his anger, you will continue to feel like a victim and try to control him into changing. It hasn't worked for the 20 years of your marriage. What makes you think it is ever going to work?"
"I didn't know what else to do. I've been so miserable. I thought the only other thing I could do is leave and I don't want to leave. I love him."
"Yes, I know you love him. So leaving is not an option and neither is changing him. It's time to control what you can control, which is you. I suggest that when he is yelling at you, taking loving care of yourself would mean disengaging - not getting into it with him while keeping your heart open - and go do something you enjoy doing. Are you willing to practice doing this?"
"Yes!"
Pick Up Lines To Start A Conversation
Some pick up lines are just terrible.
How many times have we heard cheesy pick up lines like:
"Nice shoes. Wanna bang?"
"Your name must be Gillet, because you're the best a man can get."
"Your daddy must have been a thief, because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes."
Using a line like these will get you nowhere with a woman fast, chances are she will not even speak to you.
Consequently, bad pick up lines get too much attention, therefore everyone thinks all pick up lines are lame.
However, this is not correct.
Using good pick up lines actually assist you in picking up a woman.
Understand: The whole point of using a pick up line is to get a conversation started.
That is all.
You can work your magic to do what you need to get a date with her, a phone number and an emotional connection, once she begins talking to you.
If you cannot begin a conversation, you can do little else.
You want something more that just talking to a woman; you want to engage her in a good conversation. Drawing her into your conversation is the only means of continuing your relationship journey.
Do you know that good pick up lines do just that?
When I first started going out to meet women, I was always at a loss of what to say to first meet a girl. I was always trying to think of something to say off the top of my head, and more often than not, I'd miss my opportunity to meet a great girl because it took me too long to think something up.
This is why you should know a couple of good working pick up lines. Situations like these may hinder you from being original and you need something to help you get the ball rolling.
Never, consider that you can slide by with a line such as:
"I know you from somewhere, don't I?"
All women know this to be a lame pick up line. You might think you're being clever when you say this, but you're not.
Also, doing things like asking for directions, telling a girl she looks like a certain celebrity, and complimenting her on a piece of clothing are BAD ways to pick a girl up.
Why?
This is because these lines do not engage the woman into a conversation with you, once she answers your question, she may not show interest in conversing with you.
Avoid pick up lines that have yes and no answers. Good pick up lines get a woman to think about her reply, while inducing an emotional reaction, which encourages her to continue talking with you.
So how do you engage a girl?
The easiest way is to ask her opinion about something. Every woman has strong opinions, and they aren't afraid to share them! (Particuarly when they come to relationships!)
Here is an example. Say to her, Can I get your opinion on something, please. Do you think it is strange for a woman to try to get pregnant at certain times so her child is born under a particular astrological sign? I would really be interested in a womans opinion of this.
Once you engage her in the conversation you may follow up with a tale of some woman who wants to be sure she and her children are astrologically compatible, to make life a bit more enjoyable as life moves along.
This leads to all kinds of different conversation topics, things like:
1. Relationships 2. Astrology 3. Marriage 4. Pregnancy 5. Children
The numerous ideas for conversations are unlimited. Here you will find a few of my favorite follow-ups.
"Do you think there's something to astrology?" (then lead into more discussion about destiny or fate.)
"What is your sign?" (No matter what she says - be sure to mention your sign is compatible with hers!)
"What do you think of children? You seem like the mothering type."
I could go on, but you should get the idea.
A good pick up line design draws a woman into an interestingly deep conversation, while allowing you the opportunity of getting to know one another better and becoming familiar with one another.
This is how you begin conversations.
At this point, it's the easiest thing in the world to get a phone number from a girl, and possibly even set up a first date.
How many times have we heard cheesy pick up lines like:
"Nice shoes. Wanna bang?"
"Your name must be Gillet, because you're the best a man can get."
"Your daddy must have been a thief, because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes."
Using a line like these will get you nowhere with a woman fast, chances are she will not even speak to you.
Consequently, bad pick up lines get too much attention, therefore everyone thinks all pick up lines are lame.
However, this is not correct.
Using good pick up lines actually assist you in picking up a woman.
Understand: The whole point of using a pick up line is to get a conversation started.
That is all.
You can work your magic to do what you need to get a date with her, a phone number and an emotional connection, once she begins talking to you.
If you cannot begin a conversation, you can do little else.
You want something more that just talking to a woman; you want to engage her in a good conversation. Drawing her into your conversation is the only means of continuing your relationship journey.
Do you know that good pick up lines do just that?
When I first started going out to meet women, I was always at a loss of what to say to first meet a girl. I was always trying to think of something to say off the top of my head, and more often than not, I'd miss my opportunity to meet a great girl because it took me too long to think something up.
This is why you should know a couple of good working pick up lines. Situations like these may hinder you from being original and you need something to help you get the ball rolling.
Never, consider that you can slide by with a line such as:
"I know you from somewhere, don't I?"
All women know this to be a lame pick up line. You might think you're being clever when you say this, but you're not.
Also, doing things like asking for directions, telling a girl she looks like a certain celebrity, and complimenting her on a piece of clothing are BAD ways to pick a girl up.
Why?
This is because these lines do not engage the woman into a conversation with you, once she answers your question, she may not show interest in conversing with you.
Avoid pick up lines that have yes and no answers. Good pick up lines get a woman to think about her reply, while inducing an emotional reaction, which encourages her to continue talking with you.
So how do you engage a girl?
The easiest way is to ask her opinion about something. Every woman has strong opinions, and they aren't afraid to share them! (Particuarly when they come to relationships!)
Here is an example. Say to her, Can I get your opinion on something, please. Do you think it is strange for a woman to try to get pregnant at certain times so her child is born under a particular astrological sign? I would really be interested in a womans opinion of this.
Once you engage her in the conversation you may follow up with a tale of some woman who wants to be sure she and her children are astrologically compatible, to make life a bit more enjoyable as life moves along.
This leads to all kinds of different conversation topics, things like:
1. Relationships 2. Astrology 3. Marriage 4. Pregnancy 5. Children
The numerous ideas for conversations are unlimited. Here you will find a few of my favorite follow-ups.
"Do you think there's something to astrology?" (then lead into more discussion about destiny or fate.)
"What is your sign?" (No matter what she says - be sure to mention your sign is compatible with hers!)
"What do you think of children? You seem like the mothering type."
I could go on, but you should get the idea.
A good pick up line design draws a woman into an interestingly deep conversation, while allowing you the opportunity of getting to know one another better and becoming familiar with one another.
This is how you begin conversations.
At this point, it's the easiest thing in the world to get a phone number from a girl, and possibly even set up a first date.
How To Talk To A Woman On The Phone
If you are to date successfully, you'll need the ability to communicate well. The ability to communicate will directly effect your ability to attract women.
And when it comes to communication, nothing is more important than knowing how to speak to a girl on the phone.
After you start seeing someone on a regular basis, and seeing them face to face, your main method of keeping the relationship going is using the TELEPHONE.
Without speaking to someone on the phone, it's going to be difficult to create the type of rapport necessary to sustain a relationship.
So having good phone skills is VITAL to success with women!
I speak from experience, that your phone presence can either RUIN you, or make you seem so confident, mysterious, and fun that she can't WAIT to go out with you.
Here is what you need to know to make a great impression on the phone, and keep her interested in you...
1.) Don't Be Nervous on the phone!
If you're nervous talking on the phone, that will cause you to let the conversation stall. She'll be able to tell if you're struggling to make chit-chat, and it'll hurt her impression of you.
The key here is to NOT BE NERVOUS when you call a girl! If you find yourself feeling the nerves before you call, take some time and calm yourself down. Take some deep breaths, listen to some soothing music, and remember that there are plenty of other girls out there if it doesn't work out with this one.
It's important to project the right attitude while one the phone. Being (and sounding) confident will always trump nervousness! So allow yourself to have fun and relax!
2.) Be ASSERTIVE When You Talk!
Most people MUMBLE and STUMBLE all over themselves with garbage like: "What'cha been doing?" Nothing bores a girl more than these boring, awkward questions.
If you rely on the girl to lead the conversation, you're going to find that the conversation will end quickly.
You have to be assertive in the conversation and steer it where you want it to go. Do NOT rely on her to carry this burden!
Have some topics you'd like to talk about before you call up. This will give you an idea of what to talk about if the conversation stalls. If she mentions something that interests you while talking, ask her about it in more detail.
Be active in making the conversation!
3.) Don't just call without a reason.
Calling just for idle banter is a waste of time. While speaking with a woman should be fun, there should be a motive for you to call her.
There is a reason. You'd rather not have her think that you'll want to chat on the phone for 2 hours every time your name pops up on caller ID.
Know what goal you want to achieve with the phone call before you start dialing! Is it to set up a date? Is it to touch base? Is it to strengthen your rapport?
Having a reason for calling her will help you stay focused on your end goal.
4.) Don't ask, instead, INVITE!
When talking to a girl, the urge is to give her the last decision on what to do.
Saying something like "Are you busy Friday?" might sound reasonable to you, but you're still putting the burden on her to find the time to hang out with you!
Whenever you push a girl over the phone to meet up, you'll want to frame things as though you're inviting her to join you, rather than having her choose how to meet up with you.
And trust me - there IS a difference!
Saying "Would you like to hang out tomorrow night?" is much different than "I'm going to this really awesome bar tomorrow night to check out a killer band, would you like to come?"
Offering the girl you're talking to opportunities will motivate her to say "yes" more than if you asked her if she'd be willing to spend time with you.
5.) Be congruent with who you are!
When talking on the phone, there's an issue that comes up where we are different people than we are normally. Maybe we're a little more outgoing, or engaging, or funny, or whatever.
Keep in mind that in order for a date to be successful, you have to be CONSISTENT about who you are, so the girl can really get to know you.
Don't try and be someone you're not on the phone. Just because you're not face-to-face does not give you the leeway to lie or misrepresent yourself. The truer you can be about who you are and what you're like, the greater your likelihood of success.
Talking the phone is an unfortunate but necessary part of dating. Most guys don't care for it, but if you can learn to do it better, you'll find that many women will be far more open to meeting up with you than normal.
And when it comes to communication, nothing is more important than knowing how to speak to a girl on the phone.
After you start seeing someone on a regular basis, and seeing them face to face, your main method of keeping the relationship going is using the TELEPHONE.
Without speaking to someone on the phone, it's going to be difficult to create the type of rapport necessary to sustain a relationship.
So having good phone skills is VITAL to success with women!
I speak from experience, that your phone presence can either RUIN you, or make you seem so confident, mysterious, and fun that she can't WAIT to go out with you.
Here is what you need to know to make a great impression on the phone, and keep her interested in you...
1.) Don't Be Nervous on the phone!
If you're nervous talking on the phone, that will cause you to let the conversation stall. She'll be able to tell if you're struggling to make chit-chat, and it'll hurt her impression of you.
The key here is to NOT BE NERVOUS when you call a girl! If you find yourself feeling the nerves before you call, take some time and calm yourself down. Take some deep breaths, listen to some soothing music, and remember that there are plenty of other girls out there if it doesn't work out with this one.
It's important to project the right attitude while one the phone. Being (and sounding) confident will always trump nervousness! So allow yourself to have fun and relax!
2.) Be ASSERTIVE When You Talk!
Most people MUMBLE and STUMBLE all over themselves with garbage like: "What'cha been doing?" Nothing bores a girl more than these boring, awkward questions.
If you rely on the girl to lead the conversation, you're going to find that the conversation will end quickly.
You have to be assertive in the conversation and steer it where you want it to go. Do NOT rely on her to carry this burden!
Have some topics you'd like to talk about before you call up. This will give you an idea of what to talk about if the conversation stalls. If she mentions something that interests you while talking, ask her about it in more detail.
Be active in making the conversation!
3.) Don't just call without a reason.
Calling just for idle banter is a waste of time. While speaking with a woman should be fun, there should be a motive for you to call her.
There is a reason. You'd rather not have her think that you'll want to chat on the phone for 2 hours every time your name pops up on caller ID.
Know what goal you want to achieve with the phone call before you start dialing! Is it to set up a date? Is it to touch base? Is it to strengthen your rapport?
Having a reason for calling her will help you stay focused on your end goal.
4.) Don't ask, instead, INVITE!
When talking to a girl, the urge is to give her the last decision on what to do.
Saying something like "Are you busy Friday?" might sound reasonable to you, but you're still putting the burden on her to find the time to hang out with you!
Whenever you push a girl over the phone to meet up, you'll want to frame things as though you're inviting her to join you, rather than having her choose how to meet up with you.
And trust me - there IS a difference!
Saying "Would you like to hang out tomorrow night?" is much different than "I'm going to this really awesome bar tomorrow night to check out a killer band, would you like to come?"
Offering the girl you're talking to opportunities will motivate her to say "yes" more than if you asked her if she'd be willing to spend time with you.
5.) Be congruent with who you are!
When talking on the phone, there's an issue that comes up where we are different people than we are normally. Maybe we're a little more outgoing, or engaging, or funny, or whatever.
Keep in mind that in order for a date to be successful, you have to be CONSISTENT about who you are, so the girl can really get to know you.
Don't try and be someone you're not on the phone. Just because you're not face-to-face does not give you the leeway to lie or misrepresent yourself. The truer you can be about who you are and what you're like, the greater your likelihood of success.
Talking the phone is an unfortunate but necessary part of dating. Most guys don't care for it, but if you can learn to do it better, you'll find that many women will be far more open to meeting up with you than normal.
2012年8月28日星期二
Dating For the Divorcee
Divorces can be brutal, nasty encounters for many men. They can be painful, and if you are lucky, they can just be for the best.
But the main thing to remember is to keep going and move on with your life. You can't let the divorce jade you when it comes to finding a good woman.
After all - there ARE still great women out there waiting to be found!
And the best way to recover from a divorce is to go out and start meeting as many women as you possibly can.
This can be hard for guys getting over a marriage - especially if it was a long one and/or you have kids.
After being with someone for a long time, you might be intimidated to go out and try and find another woman. You've been out of the dating scene for a while. You're older and you don't feel as attractive as you once were. You're afraid about what might be in store for you.
Well, don't worry. Getting back into dating is easier than you think.
First off, remember that your age has no bearing on with any of this. If you are older, the only person that can have any effect on you is the guy in the mirror.
Look at the positives that come with age. You have the benefit of being more established, and you have the experience too.
And hey, if she takes issue with your age, just reassure her that you won't hold her youth or inexperience against her!
Understand that you can start meeting women right away through your daily life. You don't HAVE to go to the bar or club scene like you did when you were younger. You can meet women anywhere! At the grocery store, the mall, or your local coffee shop.
If you're still a little intimidated about dating again, you can start breaking yourself back into the game by going on online dating sites to meet some women.
Typically, online dating sites are great places to start dating again because all the women on there WANT to meet someone, and you tend to get lots of women who are also divorced or have children, so they can relate to where you are coming from.
When dealing with a situation where you have children, and feel the need to date again, don't be afraid to do so. You're not betraying anyone by trying to be happy. But you do have to take your children into account when you're dating.
Be upfront with the women you date that you have children. Most women will be okay with it. Some won't. But it's best you find out early on.
Don't talk about your feelings for your ex-wife, no matter how bitter you are or how much you might dislike her. How a guy talks about his ex's reflect to other women how you might talk about them.
Be sure to be positive about your former wife, and let the women you're dating know you wish her the best.
There is no need to flaunt your money or job success in front of a woman. It rarely impresses them, so instead use actions. Pick up tabs without asking or just say that you "do well" if she asks what you do.
If you show a real interest in her and what she's all about, you'll go much further. She'll be reassured by the fact that you are actually into HER and not just interested in sex. And getting to know the person is what will make a great relationship.
But the main thing to remember is to keep going and move on with your life. You can't let the divorce jade you when it comes to finding a good woman.
After all - there ARE still great women out there waiting to be found!
And the best way to recover from a divorce is to go out and start meeting as many women as you possibly can.
This can be hard for guys getting over a marriage - especially if it was a long one and/or you have kids.
After being with someone for a long time, you might be intimidated to go out and try and find another woman. You've been out of the dating scene for a while. You're older and you don't feel as attractive as you once were. You're afraid about what might be in store for you.
Well, don't worry. Getting back into dating is easier than you think.
First off, remember that your age has no bearing on with any of this. If you are older, the only person that can have any effect on you is the guy in the mirror.
Look at the positives that come with age. You have the benefit of being more established, and you have the experience too.
And hey, if she takes issue with your age, just reassure her that you won't hold her youth or inexperience against her!
Understand that you can start meeting women right away through your daily life. You don't HAVE to go to the bar or club scene like you did when you were younger. You can meet women anywhere! At the grocery store, the mall, or your local coffee shop.
If you're still a little intimidated about dating again, you can start breaking yourself back into the game by going on online dating sites to meet some women.
Typically, online dating sites are great places to start dating again because all the women on there WANT to meet someone, and you tend to get lots of women who are also divorced or have children, so they can relate to where you are coming from.
When dealing with a situation where you have children, and feel the need to date again, don't be afraid to do so. You're not betraying anyone by trying to be happy. But you do have to take your children into account when you're dating.
Be upfront with the women you date that you have children. Most women will be okay with it. Some won't. But it's best you find out early on.
Don't talk about your feelings for your ex-wife, no matter how bitter you are or how much you might dislike her. How a guy talks about his ex's reflect to other women how you might talk about them.
Be sure to be positive about your former wife, and let the women you're dating know you wish her the best.
There is no need to flaunt your money or job success in front of a woman. It rarely impresses them, so instead use actions. Pick up tabs without asking or just say that you "do well" if she asks what you do.
If you show a real interest in her and what she's all about, you'll go much further. She'll be reassured by the fact that you are actually into HER and not just interested in sex. And getting to know the person is what will make a great relationship.
How To Get Your Boyfriend Back: 3 Proven Ways To Get Your Boyfriend Back In A Flash
If you want to know how to get your boyfriend back after an argument or a fight, then this article can help you.
Men are generally very proud and can be very volatile when caught up in their emotions. They also have a tendency to clamp up, which makes the whole process frustrating and makes you wonder if the relationship is worth saving.
However, if you’re really determined to learn how to get your boyfriend back, here are a few suggestions you might want to try out.
Tip # 1 on How to Get Your Boyfriend Back: Keep It Cool.
As I’ve said, men can be pretty volatile when they’re angry or hurt. You might have known him as a nice guy; but if in pain, your guy just might give a new definition to the word bitter.
Don’t let his emotions get you high-strung either. Just let him release the tension and keep yourself calm about it. You’re never going to be able to fix your relationship if you can’t keep yourself from reacting to every word that comes out of his mouth.
Guys can be pretty immature too, and they might not necessarily mean what they say. Especially when they let the temper do the talking.
Tip # 2 on How to Get Your Boyfriend Back: Give Lots Of Love.
In all honesty, guys just want to feel loved. Girls aren’t the only ones who want to hear sweet words or be sent love letters. Guys need them too, although none of them would really say it out loud.
If you want to get your boyfriend back, you’re going to have to see through his masks. Tell him how you feel because he deserves to know.
Tip # 3 on How to Get Your Boyfriend Back: Hug It Out.
Men are also very physical. Sometimes, words just aren’t enough. A hug or a kiss will show him how much you love him. Keep your pride at home and be the first to make the move.
Sometimes, you don’t have to say anything at all. Hold his hand or lean on his shoulder. These simple, affectionate gestures should show how sorry you are and how much you want to make the relationship work. This is definitely a good idea when none of you have words for each other yet.
Relationships can be pretty tricky. Rule number one might not always give you the same result as expected. Still, if you want to know how to get your boyfriend back, you’re going to have to stay strong and positive.
Men are generally very proud and can be very volatile when caught up in their emotions. They also have a tendency to clamp up, which makes the whole process frustrating and makes you wonder if the relationship is worth saving.
However, if you’re really determined to learn how to get your boyfriend back, here are a few suggestions you might want to try out.
Tip # 1 on How to Get Your Boyfriend Back: Keep It Cool.
As I’ve said, men can be pretty volatile when they’re angry or hurt. You might have known him as a nice guy; but if in pain, your guy just might give a new definition to the word bitter.
Don’t let his emotions get you high-strung either. Just let him release the tension and keep yourself calm about it. You’re never going to be able to fix your relationship if you can’t keep yourself from reacting to every word that comes out of his mouth.
Guys can be pretty immature too, and they might not necessarily mean what they say. Especially when they let the temper do the talking.
Tip # 2 on How to Get Your Boyfriend Back: Give Lots Of Love.
In all honesty, guys just want to feel loved. Girls aren’t the only ones who want to hear sweet words or be sent love letters. Guys need them too, although none of them would really say it out loud.
If you want to get your boyfriend back, you’re going to have to see through his masks. Tell him how you feel because he deserves to know.
Tip # 3 on How to Get Your Boyfriend Back: Hug It Out.
Men are also very physical. Sometimes, words just aren’t enough. A hug or a kiss will show him how much you love him. Keep your pride at home and be the first to make the move.
Sometimes, you don’t have to say anything at all. Hold his hand or lean on his shoulder. These simple, affectionate gestures should show how sorry you are and how much you want to make the relationship work. This is definitely a good idea when none of you have words for each other yet.
Relationships can be pretty tricky. Rule number one might not always give you the same result as expected. Still, if you want to know how to get your boyfriend back, you’re going to have to stay strong and positive.
What To Do About Male Competition
Other men are always a part of the equation in the dating scene. There will always be competition for attractive women; and many of your competitors won't hesitate in ruining your chances in order to win the girl!
To make things worse, they may have advantages over you in the form of their looks and wealth. It can be daunting.
The fact is: You WILL have to face competition!
The fear you'll face when dealing with competition can be boiled down to two root causes - Insecurity and Jealousy.
When you are insecure, you're always wondering if some other guy is going to come along and steal your girl.
This often shows up as a combination of feelings that make you worry about losing your girl, and at the same time worrying about not being able to find another one if you DO lose her.
Then, as if things weren't bad enough, you go out with your girl, and other guys start hitting on her right in front of you.
This triggers MORE insecurity, and then the REAL problem... JEALOUSY.
These emotions take over your mind and body, and can trigger some of the most short-sighted behaviors you'll ever experience. When you react to these feelings of jealousy and insecurity, you can actually DRIVE AWAY the woman you desire.
In our society, most men tend to be insecure. And most women despise this as a trait!
So what's the answer here? What's the best thing to do when a guy is making his move on your girl?
1) Realize that there's nothing to be insecure and jealous about, and that these things only lead to fear and loss.
2) Get your game in shape with women. Get yourself to the point where you can meet women in ANY situation. This way you always know DEEP DOWN that if any woman you're with ever decides to leave, you can turn around and start meeting new women. This eliminates insecurity.
3) Mentally prepare. Take some time to imagine that you're in one of these situations, and notice the feelings you have. Go over it in your mind until you can think about it without having any negative emotions triggered.
And if you ever find yourself in a situation where you're actually dealing with direct competition from another man - like he's hitting on your girl right in front of you, here's what you can do...
1) EXPECT IT. If you start dating hot women, other men WILL hit on them, GUARANTEED. It's part of life. You must expect that it's going to happen and not be surprised when it does.
2) Learn how to have FUN with it. Most guys have no game at all, and it's kind of funny to watch and listen to them. I enjoy watching guys try to meet women, because they FAIL miserably in most cases. I like to wait until a guy is finished trying to pick up on the girl I'm with, and then get her to share the details so I can laugh.
3) Suggest that she date the guy who's hitting on her. One of my favorite things to do is say, "Hey, you guys would make a cute couple! I totally think you should go for him." Of course, this is all said in a light, fun way.
4) If you suspect that the girl you're with is actually TRYING to make you jealous, talk to other women. If you actually think that a woman is deliberately trying to make you jealous, you must do some thinking as well. Some women enjoy making men compete over them and you probably don't want to be with one of these women. They're a pain. But if you think it's just a typical situation and the girl is trying to figure out if you "really" like her (because you'll get jealous if you do), then just turn around and start a conversation with a group of girls, and wait for her to come and find you.
The point I'm making is that you MUST get over that fear, insecurity, and jealousy you experience, and realize that there is nothing to be afraid of.
The only power that other guys will have with your date is the power that you GIVE them... so don't give them any power by acting like a jealous freak. Keep your power for yourself. The main reason that other guys try to hit on your girl is because they don't have one themselves. Remember that.
To make things worse, they may have advantages over you in the form of their looks and wealth. It can be daunting.
The fact is: You WILL have to face competition!
The fear you'll face when dealing with competition can be boiled down to two root causes - Insecurity and Jealousy.
When you are insecure, you're always wondering if some other guy is going to come along and steal your girl.
This often shows up as a combination of feelings that make you worry about losing your girl, and at the same time worrying about not being able to find another one if you DO lose her.
Then, as if things weren't bad enough, you go out with your girl, and other guys start hitting on her right in front of you.
This triggers MORE insecurity, and then the REAL problem... JEALOUSY.
These emotions take over your mind and body, and can trigger some of the most short-sighted behaviors you'll ever experience. When you react to these feelings of jealousy and insecurity, you can actually DRIVE AWAY the woman you desire.
In our society, most men tend to be insecure. And most women despise this as a trait!
So what's the answer here? What's the best thing to do when a guy is making his move on your girl?
1) Realize that there's nothing to be insecure and jealous about, and that these things only lead to fear and loss.
2) Get your game in shape with women. Get yourself to the point where you can meet women in ANY situation. This way you always know DEEP DOWN that if any woman you're with ever decides to leave, you can turn around and start meeting new women. This eliminates insecurity.
3) Mentally prepare. Take some time to imagine that you're in one of these situations, and notice the feelings you have. Go over it in your mind until you can think about it without having any negative emotions triggered.
And if you ever find yourself in a situation where you're actually dealing with direct competition from another man - like he's hitting on your girl right in front of you, here's what you can do...
1) EXPECT IT. If you start dating hot women, other men WILL hit on them, GUARANTEED. It's part of life. You must expect that it's going to happen and not be surprised when it does.
2) Learn how to have FUN with it. Most guys have no game at all, and it's kind of funny to watch and listen to them. I enjoy watching guys try to meet women, because they FAIL miserably in most cases. I like to wait until a guy is finished trying to pick up on the girl I'm with, and then get her to share the details so I can laugh.
3) Suggest that she date the guy who's hitting on her. One of my favorite things to do is say, "Hey, you guys would make a cute couple! I totally think you should go for him." Of course, this is all said in a light, fun way.
4) If you suspect that the girl you're with is actually TRYING to make you jealous, talk to other women. If you actually think that a woman is deliberately trying to make you jealous, you must do some thinking as well. Some women enjoy making men compete over them and you probably don't want to be with one of these women. They're a pain. But if you think it's just a typical situation and the girl is trying to figure out if you "really" like her (because you'll get jealous if you do), then just turn around and start a conversation with a group of girls, and wait for her to come and find you.
The point I'm making is that you MUST get over that fear, insecurity, and jealousy you experience, and realize that there is nothing to be afraid of.
The only power that other guys will have with your date is the power that you GIVE them... so don't give them any power by acting like a jealous freak. Keep your power for yourself. The main reason that other guys try to hit on your girl is because they don't have one themselves. Remember that.
Dirty Talk In Your Marriage - Introducing It In 4 Easy Steps
If you have been married for a long time and have never tried dirty talking to your spouse, you may feel intimidated by the very thought of inviting it into your love life.
In married life you tend to fall into set roles. Once the initial couple of years of passion have passed, all the distractions and compulsions of daily life might sap you of so much energy, you hardly have time for sex; leave alone innovations!
You might also feel shy or apprehensive about suddenly stepping out of your usual mold. What will your husband feel about you donning a new, risqué role?
Will he be shocked? Will he welcome it with open arms or will he treat you with suspicion?
Dirty Talk Can Give You More Freedom
Getting started can often be the biggest hurdle you will face. But once you are past this starting trouble, the two of you will come to truly enjoy the honesty and openness of being able to talk dirty to each other. You just have to give yourself, and each other, the permission to start.
Here are some ways to make it easier to introduce dirty talk into you marriage:
1. Create an Ambience for Love
When you make an effort to make a beautiful space, it sends out its own signals. Light some candles; dim the lights; put on some sexy music for dancing; decorate the room with exotic flowers; scent the room with his favorite perfume…
Setting up an atmosphere for sex will make him feel special, wanted and sexy.
It will also put you in a special mood where you want to please and are ready to be pleased yourself. This will make it easier for you to open up.
When you prepare the bedroom, let everything emanate an erotic message: sexy scents; satin sheets; lacy lingerie laid out; an erotic book in view… The scene will speak for itself and lend to your mood.
2. Tease Him!
Men are usually expected to stay in control of themselves at all times. Being teased to the point of loosing control can be an exhilarating experience for your man.
Men love to be sexually teased, so go ahead and pamper him. Tell him what you are going to do to him when he can’t do anything about it. Get him slavering over what you say to him, until you actually make it happen.
3. Tell Him What You Need
Explicitly and in great detail, tell you partner what you want him to do to you, or what you want to do to him. Nothing can be more exciting to your man than directly hearing it from your lips.
When you dirty talk about your wants and desires, you are making a powerful expression of your sexuality. It will turn you into a veritable sex goddess in his eyes!
Remember to stay within your comfort zone. Sensual words can be used extremely effectively in combination with your body talk without making you feel embarrassed.
4. Get Him to Reveal What He wants
This is how you involve him in your dirty talk and make it more comfortable and exciting for both of you.
Ask him leading questions on what he wants you to do and then act on his answers and then ask him with a sly, knowing smile, “like that?” Guaranteed to drive him crazy!
Get more explicit as you go along. Use different words to describe your bodies and the actions that turn you on to him.
Now you know these 4 simple steps to introduce dirty talking in your marriage, you can start making your husband comfortable with it. As you become more accomplished at it, you will find your love life taking on an entirely new sensuous dimension.
In married life you tend to fall into set roles. Once the initial couple of years of passion have passed, all the distractions and compulsions of daily life might sap you of so much energy, you hardly have time for sex; leave alone innovations!
You might also feel shy or apprehensive about suddenly stepping out of your usual mold. What will your husband feel about you donning a new, risqué role?
Will he be shocked? Will he welcome it with open arms or will he treat you with suspicion?
Dirty Talk Can Give You More Freedom
Getting started can often be the biggest hurdle you will face. But once you are past this starting trouble, the two of you will come to truly enjoy the honesty and openness of being able to talk dirty to each other. You just have to give yourself, and each other, the permission to start.
Here are some ways to make it easier to introduce dirty talk into you marriage:
1. Create an Ambience for Love
When you make an effort to make a beautiful space, it sends out its own signals. Light some candles; dim the lights; put on some sexy music for dancing; decorate the room with exotic flowers; scent the room with his favorite perfume…
Setting up an atmosphere for sex will make him feel special, wanted and sexy.
It will also put you in a special mood where you want to please and are ready to be pleased yourself. This will make it easier for you to open up.
When you prepare the bedroom, let everything emanate an erotic message: sexy scents; satin sheets; lacy lingerie laid out; an erotic book in view… The scene will speak for itself and lend to your mood.
2. Tease Him!
Men are usually expected to stay in control of themselves at all times. Being teased to the point of loosing control can be an exhilarating experience for your man.
Men love to be sexually teased, so go ahead and pamper him. Tell him what you are going to do to him when he can’t do anything about it. Get him slavering over what you say to him, until you actually make it happen.
3. Tell Him What You Need
Explicitly and in great detail, tell you partner what you want him to do to you, or what you want to do to him. Nothing can be more exciting to your man than directly hearing it from your lips.
When you dirty talk about your wants and desires, you are making a powerful expression of your sexuality. It will turn you into a veritable sex goddess in his eyes!
Remember to stay within your comfort zone. Sensual words can be used extremely effectively in combination with your body talk without making you feel embarrassed.
4. Get Him to Reveal What He wants
This is how you involve him in your dirty talk and make it more comfortable and exciting for both of you.
Ask him leading questions on what he wants you to do and then act on his answers and then ask him with a sly, knowing smile, “like that?” Guaranteed to drive him crazy!
Get more explicit as you go along. Use different words to describe your bodies and the actions that turn you on to him.
Now you know these 4 simple steps to introduce dirty talking in your marriage, you can start making your husband comfortable with it. As you become more accomplished at it, you will find your love life taking on an entirely new sensuous dimension.
2012年8月27日星期一
Meeting Women In Bars At Night
Let's face it - going to a bar to meet a woman can be very intimidating!
There is so much to deal with - loud music, other men, intoxication, and the worst... the hostile attitude that some women seem to emanate!
Seriously, girls get approached so much in bars, that they are much more likely to REJECT you right up front than give you a chance like they normally would.
Don't take it personally. This is just a defense mechanism.
But that doesn't take away from the fact that this rejection is the major cause of the fear most men experience when it comes to meeting women in bars.
You're probably afraid to go start a conversation in a bar because you don't want to be rejected by women. And hey, who could blame you?
But you can't let this fear rule your life. Despite the intimidating atmosphere, it IS possible for you to meet many great women in a bar or nightclub. Once you can face this fear and start to deal with it, only then will you start making progress.
In my experience, knowing how to meet GROUPS of women can really help to increase your success in bars.
After all, women hardly EVER go to a bar by themselves! Bars are social atmospheres, so they usually go with friends. If you have the ability to approach the entire group, it is much less likely that you'll get rejected.
Starting conversations with groups of more than one woman in bars depends a great deal on your ENERGY. This makes a huge impact.
If someone walks up to you and acts completely nervous and scared, you might wonder what they are up to and even become a bit creeped out, right? Well, women are the same way! And they've dealt with it a lot more. So if that is how you approach, don't be surprised if you get shut out of the conversation.
If you act like you're having a good time, you think they look like some fun people to talk to, and you start on that note, they'll be FAR more likely to be friendly and open.
Now, I know a lot of guys who are GREAT at meeting women in bars. Some of them use rather interesting and complex techniques that range from "pick up lines" all the way to magic and psychic readings.
But you don't need to do anything that complicated. Instead, give this tactic a try...
Pick up your drink, walk over to the table, think of the funniest moment of your life so you have a smile on your face and say, "What, are you girls shy or something?"
When they say, "NO, why?"
Answer, "Because I've been sitting at the next table for at least a half hour and you haven't come over to say hi to me!"
I have about 3 different friends who all use variations of this opening, and it always works great (if you're having fun when you say it).
Like I said earlier, it's all about the attitude to you present to them. If you have fun, it'll be fun. If it's work, then you are probably going to become fearful again.
This fear is what needs to be addressed. If you can get by that, and subsequently the worry of what a girl thinks of you, you'll be setting yourself up for a lot more success.
There is so much to deal with - loud music, other men, intoxication, and the worst... the hostile attitude that some women seem to emanate!
Seriously, girls get approached so much in bars, that they are much more likely to REJECT you right up front than give you a chance like they normally would.
Don't take it personally. This is just a defense mechanism.
But that doesn't take away from the fact that this rejection is the major cause of the fear most men experience when it comes to meeting women in bars.
You're probably afraid to go start a conversation in a bar because you don't want to be rejected by women. And hey, who could blame you?
But you can't let this fear rule your life. Despite the intimidating atmosphere, it IS possible for you to meet many great women in a bar or nightclub. Once you can face this fear and start to deal with it, only then will you start making progress.
In my experience, knowing how to meet GROUPS of women can really help to increase your success in bars.
After all, women hardly EVER go to a bar by themselves! Bars are social atmospheres, so they usually go with friends. If you have the ability to approach the entire group, it is much less likely that you'll get rejected.
Starting conversations with groups of more than one woman in bars depends a great deal on your ENERGY. This makes a huge impact.
If someone walks up to you and acts completely nervous and scared, you might wonder what they are up to and even become a bit creeped out, right? Well, women are the same way! And they've dealt with it a lot more. So if that is how you approach, don't be surprised if you get shut out of the conversation.
If you act like you're having a good time, you think they look like some fun people to talk to, and you start on that note, they'll be FAR more likely to be friendly and open.
Now, I know a lot of guys who are GREAT at meeting women in bars. Some of them use rather interesting and complex techniques that range from "pick up lines" all the way to magic and psychic readings.
But you don't need to do anything that complicated. Instead, give this tactic a try...
Pick up your drink, walk over to the table, think of the funniest moment of your life so you have a smile on your face and say, "What, are you girls shy or something?"
When they say, "NO, why?"
Answer, "Because I've been sitting at the next table for at least a half hour and you haven't come over to say hi to me!"
I have about 3 different friends who all use variations of this opening, and it always works great (if you're having fun when you say it).
Like I said earlier, it's all about the attitude to you present to them. If you have fun, it'll be fun. If it's work, then you are probably going to become fearful again.
This fear is what needs to be addressed. If you can get by that, and subsequently the worry of what a girl thinks of you, you'll be setting yourself up for a lot more success.
Finding Togetherness with Your Ex
When a relationship ends, there’s always some sort of pain involved. The hurt can get so bad that it can lead to a unfathomable depression.
However, if you've had some experience about trying to get and ex back, you will know that a depression will not help bring you closer to getting back together. The truth behind getting your ex back includes doing things that may seem counter-intuitive from what you might think is the right or correct thing to do.
The No Contact Rule
Getting your ex back means to make your ex wonder and miss you. What does it take to make your ex miss you? You should us the no-contact rule Do not call, text or email during the no contact phase. Let your ex know they can call you up if ever. After you tell them that, just wait and see.
No-contact rule truly means no drunk calling or drunk texting your ex. You should also try to avoid places where they might be hanging out. If you share the same friends, you should ask first to avoid any type of contact. On top of that, don't ask or nag their friends or family about them. Just leave it alone.
Don't try to plead or beg for your ex to take you back. You will be ruining your chances with your ex. You are killing your chances with getting your ex back For goodness sake, promising you will change won’t get you a second chance. That won’t work either.
Always stay cool and level headed Being calm and collected will help make you look put together despite the breakup. Deep down you may be tearing up inside, but don’t let it show Looking dismal will tag you as undesirable.
The New You
A lot of people bring to mind that you shouldimprove your appearance to help get your ex back. I’m adamant on improving your physical appearance when trying to get back your ex. There are many excellent reasons to do so. One big benefit is that if your ex finds out, they will know that you are doing well and are still enjoying life. Second, your self-confidence and energy level will be boosted.
Love yourself.
You should spoil yourself because you deserve to be joyful, strong and full of life. Start getting some exercise. Eat and drink right. Start taking care of your body. Yes, that's you!
However, if you've had some experience about trying to get and ex back, you will know that a depression will not help bring you closer to getting back together. The truth behind getting your ex back includes doing things that may seem counter-intuitive from what you might think is the right or correct thing to do.
The No Contact Rule
Getting your ex back means to make your ex wonder and miss you. What does it take to make your ex miss you? You should us the no-contact rule Do not call, text or email during the no contact phase. Let your ex know they can call you up if ever. After you tell them that, just wait and see.
No-contact rule truly means no drunk calling or drunk texting your ex. You should also try to avoid places where they might be hanging out. If you share the same friends, you should ask first to avoid any type of contact. On top of that, don't ask or nag their friends or family about them. Just leave it alone.
Don't try to plead or beg for your ex to take you back. You will be ruining your chances with your ex. You are killing your chances with getting your ex back For goodness sake, promising you will change won’t get you a second chance. That won’t work either.
Always stay cool and level headed Being calm and collected will help make you look put together despite the breakup. Deep down you may be tearing up inside, but don’t let it show Looking dismal will tag you as undesirable.
The New You
A lot of people bring to mind that you shouldimprove your appearance to help get your ex back. I’m adamant on improving your physical appearance when trying to get back your ex. There are many excellent reasons to do so. One big benefit is that if your ex finds out, they will know that you are doing well and are still enjoying life. Second, your self-confidence and energy level will be boosted.
Love yourself.
You should spoil yourself because you deserve to be joyful, strong and full of life. Start getting some exercise. Eat and drink right. Start taking care of your body. Yes, that's you!
The End of Date Kiss
Unless you're extremely experienced with women, one of the most difficult things for men to pull off is the end-of-the-date kiss. If you're just starting out (or getting back into) the dating scene, knowing when to make your move can be a difficult task.
Understand that knowing if and when a woman is ready to be kissed comes down to one thing - observation.
The clues that will signal you to proceed will come from the girl you are with, so you need to be aware of the woman's behaviors and body language.
Here is what to look for:
1. Check your gut feeling on how the date has gone. If she has clearly not enjoyed herself and does not appear into you, a kiss is not in the cards. If the attraction is not already there, she will not be head over heels for you if you suddenly plant one on her.
2. If you're not quite sure about whether or not she's attracted to you -- for example if you can't really tell if her reluctance to kiss is due to shyness (but she likes you) or plain old disinterest -- then you need more data. Subtly try to initiate some physical contact.
3. Stand a little closer to her and see if she backs up or allows you into her personal zone. Casually initiate touching her by putting your arm around her waist. If she hugs up on you a little, that's a great sign! If she cringes, she's probably not comfortable enough with you to kiss.
4. Make direct eye contact, smile, and look at her reaction. Does she smile back and seem to enjoy looking at you? Does she appear uncomfortable and looks away, refusing to hold eye contact? If she goes along with what you're doing, she's in rapport with you. If she's not, then you haven't built up a strong enough connection yet.
The point I'm trying to hammer home here is this: you CAN figure out her emotional state by putting her into situations where she can't avoid sharing some body language signals about her feelings -- either negative or positive.
Once you've analyzed the situation and you think it's okay to kiss her, then square up to her and just kiss her. Don't try and sneak it in. Do everything deliberately. Don't say anything unless it is unusually profound or funny.
Don't forget - confidence is the key factor here! Even if you're insanely nervous about kissing her, try and appear to be as confident as you possibly can. A meek, hesitant kiss is a big turn off. You need to show her exactly what your intentions are when you go to kiss her!
Whatever you do, NEVER ASK a woman if you can kiss her! That ruins the mood and magic of the moment. Pay attention to her body language and see if you're getting the green lights to make your move. If you're not getting the right signals, don't push it! Back off, because you have to create more comfort with her before you can proceed.
If you make your move at the appropriate time, and do it assertively yet smoothly, then you'll score some big points. Girls rate that first kiss as an important indicator of your potential as a possible boyfriend. Not only is that kiss indicative of your confidence and manliness, it is also a precursor to a woman knowing if you'll be a good match or not!
Understand that knowing if and when a woman is ready to be kissed comes down to one thing - observation.
The clues that will signal you to proceed will come from the girl you are with, so you need to be aware of the woman's behaviors and body language.
Here is what to look for:
1. Check your gut feeling on how the date has gone. If she has clearly not enjoyed herself and does not appear into you, a kiss is not in the cards. If the attraction is not already there, she will not be head over heels for you if you suddenly plant one on her.
2. If you're not quite sure about whether or not she's attracted to you -- for example if you can't really tell if her reluctance to kiss is due to shyness (but she likes you) or plain old disinterest -- then you need more data. Subtly try to initiate some physical contact.
3. Stand a little closer to her and see if she backs up or allows you into her personal zone. Casually initiate touching her by putting your arm around her waist. If she hugs up on you a little, that's a great sign! If she cringes, she's probably not comfortable enough with you to kiss.
4. Make direct eye contact, smile, and look at her reaction. Does she smile back and seem to enjoy looking at you? Does she appear uncomfortable and looks away, refusing to hold eye contact? If she goes along with what you're doing, she's in rapport with you. If she's not, then you haven't built up a strong enough connection yet.
The point I'm trying to hammer home here is this: you CAN figure out her emotional state by putting her into situations where she can't avoid sharing some body language signals about her feelings -- either negative or positive.
Once you've analyzed the situation and you think it's okay to kiss her, then square up to her and just kiss her. Don't try and sneak it in. Do everything deliberately. Don't say anything unless it is unusually profound or funny.
Don't forget - confidence is the key factor here! Even if you're insanely nervous about kissing her, try and appear to be as confident as you possibly can. A meek, hesitant kiss is a big turn off. You need to show her exactly what your intentions are when you go to kiss her!
Whatever you do, NEVER ASK a woman if you can kiss her! That ruins the mood and magic of the moment. Pay attention to her body language and see if you're getting the green lights to make your move. If you're not getting the right signals, don't push it! Back off, because you have to create more comfort with her before you can proceed.
If you make your move at the appropriate time, and do it assertively yet smoothly, then you'll score some big points. Girls rate that first kiss as an important indicator of your potential as a possible boyfriend. Not only is that kiss indicative of your confidence and manliness, it is also a precursor to a woman knowing if you'll be a good match or not!
The Body Language Of Flirting, Part 8
In the previous article, the topic was touch and it's importance to your flirting success. In this article, the last of the series, I'll go over how your vocal signals are also an integral part of non verbal flirting too.
You might be asking yourself how this could be non verbal? It relates to the voice right? Well, in a sense, but it has to do with your INFLECTION, and not the actual words spoken!
The distinction is important. Much of your first impression is based on HOW you say something, versus a small amount of it being based on WHAT you say. It's drastically more important.
With that regard, it's important to be able to read her vocal signals too. It's quite possibly the stronger interest indicator we have, yet most people disregard this.
Let's look at this - take a simple word, like "hello". Now think of the different ways to say "hello", in terms of inflection. You can say it in a manner of surprise, if you weren't expecting to see that person wherever you are.
More importantly, you can say it in a manner that indicates interest. If you say hello in a drawn out manner, with a rising intonation at the end, think about what it says. Try it.
It can show you are interested. Now think about this. It will also show you if SHE is interested. She might say it in a flat, monotone voice. That's not good. But if she smiles brightly and says hello, it generally is a positive thing.
Remember, always look for other signs to gauge this against. She might have a monotone voice or be somewhat of an unemotional person, so her intonation will come across as flat. She might also have a vibrant personality, and be overly friendly, so her response might not be what it seems. The best method of judging this is by watching how she reacts to others.
How does intonation work? It's all about reading between the lines - it will become apparent. Hello can have several meanings - the first is "wow, you are gorgeous", and on down the line to "go away and stay away." If you pay attention, you'll catch my drift.
Get a friend, and practice catching the meanings behind the word "yeah". Try to make it mean as many things as possible. At the same time, see how fast you can pick up the inflections.
Also take the time to listen to your own voice. Are you monotone? Soft spoken? Work on that - make it lively. Try playing with the pace, pitch, and tone. If you have problems in this area, it will give you instant results in regards to people seeing your positively.
Your volume is important too. I you are too quiet, you will come across as a bit submissive and worse, frustrating to the listener, who might have to ask you to speak up.
But be sure to temper it. I'm sure you've dealt with a very loud person who had a pitch that was everywhere. They are obnoxious, and far worse than being monotone.
The idea is to balance all the parts correctly. This takes a bit of effort, but it is well worth it.
Another key element to remember is the use of intonation to allow a turn change. This is an important verbal cue that is forgotten more often than not.
If there is a rise or fall in the intonation by the other person, it is generally used to indicate that the person is done speaking and wishes the other person to speak.
Conversely, if you do the same, she might be expecting that you have finished speaking, and it is her turn.
Not heeding these signals can lead to bumpy conversations, even irritating enough to end them.
Again, with this, practice! Hold conversations with friends, and watch the conversations of others with an eye towards these cues.
You'll need to practice, but in time your voice will become a part of your success!
This concludes my series on nonverbal flirting. Next up, I'll continue the series on flirting by writing about the verbal part of it! After that, I'll show you how to put all the pieces together!
You might be asking yourself how this could be non verbal? It relates to the voice right? Well, in a sense, but it has to do with your INFLECTION, and not the actual words spoken!
The distinction is important. Much of your first impression is based on HOW you say something, versus a small amount of it being based on WHAT you say. It's drastically more important.
With that regard, it's important to be able to read her vocal signals too. It's quite possibly the stronger interest indicator we have, yet most people disregard this.
Let's look at this - take a simple word, like "hello". Now think of the different ways to say "hello", in terms of inflection. You can say it in a manner of surprise, if you weren't expecting to see that person wherever you are.
More importantly, you can say it in a manner that indicates interest. If you say hello in a drawn out manner, with a rising intonation at the end, think about what it says. Try it.
It can show you are interested. Now think about this. It will also show you if SHE is interested. She might say it in a flat, monotone voice. That's not good. But if she smiles brightly and says hello, it generally is a positive thing.
Remember, always look for other signs to gauge this against. She might have a monotone voice or be somewhat of an unemotional person, so her intonation will come across as flat. She might also have a vibrant personality, and be overly friendly, so her response might not be what it seems. The best method of judging this is by watching how she reacts to others.
How does intonation work? It's all about reading between the lines - it will become apparent. Hello can have several meanings - the first is "wow, you are gorgeous", and on down the line to "go away and stay away." If you pay attention, you'll catch my drift.
Get a friend, and practice catching the meanings behind the word "yeah". Try to make it mean as many things as possible. At the same time, see how fast you can pick up the inflections.
Also take the time to listen to your own voice. Are you monotone? Soft spoken? Work on that - make it lively. Try playing with the pace, pitch, and tone. If you have problems in this area, it will give you instant results in regards to people seeing your positively.
Your volume is important too. I you are too quiet, you will come across as a bit submissive and worse, frustrating to the listener, who might have to ask you to speak up.
But be sure to temper it. I'm sure you've dealt with a very loud person who had a pitch that was everywhere. They are obnoxious, and far worse than being monotone.
The idea is to balance all the parts correctly. This takes a bit of effort, but it is well worth it.
Another key element to remember is the use of intonation to allow a turn change. This is an important verbal cue that is forgotten more often than not.
If there is a rise or fall in the intonation by the other person, it is generally used to indicate that the person is done speaking and wishes the other person to speak.
Conversely, if you do the same, she might be expecting that you have finished speaking, and it is her turn.
Not heeding these signals can lead to bumpy conversations, even irritating enough to end them.
Again, with this, practice! Hold conversations with friends, and watch the conversations of others with an eye towards these cues.
You'll need to practice, but in time your voice will become a part of your success!
This concludes my series on nonverbal flirting. Next up, I'll continue the series on flirting by writing about the verbal part of it! After that, I'll show you how to put all the pieces together!
2012年8月26日星期日
How to Talk Dirty - Clearing Your Doubts on How to Get Started
Talking dirty is something that catches the interest of many women simply because it seems so easy to do. But once you decide to actually get down to it, you might have your doubts.
Perhaps you have been wondering about what exactly you should say when you get to talking dirty.
Do you worry that it might turn into some kind of a freak show? That you will get stage fright and freeze up in the middle of what you are saying? That you will look foolish and be laughed at?
Set your mind at ease
The truth is there is no set role; there are no set rules. Talking dirty is not a stage performance. You are not about to conduct a monologue.
You are going to share something private and special with your partner. Talking dirty is about indulging in something unique and intimate and sharing your innermost desires with your man.
Talking dirty is a sharing thing
One reason that talking dirty can be so exciting is that it transcends the normal barriers and restrictions of your daily routine. There is something risky and dangerous about peeling off your thin veneer of respectability.
In becoming a little wild and unpredictable when you vocalize your feelings, you are reinforcing the bonds of love and trust that you share with your lover. You will arouse his senses as well as his expectations.
Anticipation is a wonderful way to heighten the actual act of making love, when you eventually get around to it.
The first few steps
So what should you do to get started? To begin with, do not force yourself to say or do anything that does not come naturally to you. Whatever you do has to come from within yourself.
If you feel shy to talk dirty, try whispering what you consider naughty into his ear. Whispering has many advantages… It has an element of secrecy to it.
When you whisper, you can be a little inaudible, it will still be exciting; and you can lean in close and hide your face which might make you feel more comfortable.
Fantasize about your comfort zone
If you are still worried about looking silly and don’t know how to start, think about being in an erotic situation with your partner.
It could be as simple as being alone in a lift with him when you suddenly feel like kissing him. Only, instead of just kissing him, TELL him you WANT to kiss him. Linger over your words, make him want that kiss; feel that kiss, before you ever touch him.
You could also try visualizing different situations. How would you like to be touched? How would you like to touch your partner? What would you like to hear him say? Fantasies are a great way to practice your stuff in secret!
Now that you are ready
Get to know what your body is saying to you and then say it to your partner in the way that strikes you as erotic. Do not worry about the details; use words and phrases that excite you.
If your partner likes dirty talk, just the fact that you are doing it will be incredibly exciting to him. And once you have started talking dirty, there will be no looking back!
Perhaps you have been wondering about what exactly you should say when you get to talking dirty.
Do you worry that it might turn into some kind of a freak show? That you will get stage fright and freeze up in the middle of what you are saying? That you will look foolish and be laughed at?
Set your mind at ease
The truth is there is no set role; there are no set rules. Talking dirty is not a stage performance. You are not about to conduct a monologue.
You are going to share something private and special with your partner. Talking dirty is about indulging in something unique and intimate and sharing your innermost desires with your man.
Talking dirty is a sharing thing
One reason that talking dirty can be so exciting is that it transcends the normal barriers and restrictions of your daily routine. There is something risky and dangerous about peeling off your thin veneer of respectability.
In becoming a little wild and unpredictable when you vocalize your feelings, you are reinforcing the bonds of love and trust that you share with your lover. You will arouse his senses as well as his expectations.
Anticipation is a wonderful way to heighten the actual act of making love, when you eventually get around to it.
The first few steps
So what should you do to get started? To begin with, do not force yourself to say or do anything that does not come naturally to you. Whatever you do has to come from within yourself.
If you feel shy to talk dirty, try whispering what you consider naughty into his ear. Whispering has many advantages… It has an element of secrecy to it.
When you whisper, you can be a little inaudible, it will still be exciting; and you can lean in close and hide your face which might make you feel more comfortable.
Fantasize about your comfort zone
If you are still worried about looking silly and don’t know how to start, think about being in an erotic situation with your partner.
It could be as simple as being alone in a lift with him when you suddenly feel like kissing him. Only, instead of just kissing him, TELL him you WANT to kiss him. Linger over your words, make him want that kiss; feel that kiss, before you ever touch him.
You could also try visualizing different situations. How would you like to be touched? How would you like to touch your partner? What would you like to hear him say? Fantasies are a great way to practice your stuff in secret!
Now that you are ready
Get to know what your body is saying to you and then say it to your partner in the way that strikes you as erotic. Do not worry about the details; use words and phrases that excite you.
If your partner likes dirty talk, just the fact that you are doing it will be incredibly exciting to him. And once you have started talking dirty, there will be no looking back!
Interracial Personals: Get More Attention!
Most people interested in interracial relationships start with creating interracial personals on interracial dating sites especially, so that other singles in similar relationships can know more about them.
When I decided to give online dating a try so I can find my date, I put up my interracial personals ad on one of the interracial dating sites. To tell you the truth, I did not get the desired response I anticipated. So I wondered why this was happening and then it hit me … Everyone on the interracial dating site was there for the same reason as I. And since I was competing with some of them for potential mates, I had to find a way of making my interracial personals ad stand out. I figured this was no time to give up over not getting enough responses. I figured it was time to spruce up my interracial personal and make it just as attractive to other interracial singles.
So how did I go about this?
I had to learn to get descriptive and make me look attractive with words. Getting the humor in all this wasn’t so easy but then writing with honesty kinda helps you ease into the whole thing. A little humor sometimes can make interracial personals stand out from the boring ones. It gives the other singles this vibe that you are fun to be around. I decided to be truthful about the stuff I like and let my readers know exactly what I was after – a serious relationship.
Another thing I learnt is that being negative and talking about dating failures on interracial personals puts off others. It puts me off. Much as you are being, pain and failure make others think you are not ready for dating. So I went over my profile and got rid of all the bleeding. And if you still hang up on the past, get over it first before posting that interracial personal.
The best way to learn is looking within you. When browsing other interracial personals on interracial dating sites, what puts you off? Avoid such mistakes. And the worst thing you can ever do to ruin your chances on interracial dating sites is giving up. All you need to do is try a new approach next time. And just like I did, you will get the desired attention from desired respondents eventually.
When I decided to give online dating a try so I can find my date, I put up my interracial personals ad on one of the interracial dating sites. To tell you the truth, I did not get the desired response I anticipated. So I wondered why this was happening and then it hit me … Everyone on the interracial dating site was there for the same reason as I. And since I was competing with some of them for potential mates, I had to find a way of making my interracial personals ad stand out. I figured this was no time to give up over not getting enough responses. I figured it was time to spruce up my interracial personal and make it just as attractive to other interracial singles.
So how did I go about this?
I had to learn to get descriptive and make me look attractive with words. Getting the humor in all this wasn’t so easy but then writing with honesty kinda helps you ease into the whole thing. A little humor sometimes can make interracial personals stand out from the boring ones. It gives the other singles this vibe that you are fun to be around. I decided to be truthful about the stuff I like and let my readers know exactly what I was after – a serious relationship.
Another thing I learnt is that being negative and talking about dating failures on interracial personals puts off others. It puts me off. Much as you are being, pain and failure make others think you are not ready for dating. So I went over my profile and got rid of all the bleeding. And if you still hang up on the past, get over it first before posting that interracial personal.
The best way to learn is looking within you. When browsing other interracial personals on interracial dating sites, what puts you off? Avoid such mistakes. And the worst thing you can ever do to ruin your chances on interracial dating sites is giving up. All you need to do is try a new approach next time. And just like I did, you will get the desired attention from desired respondents eventually.
How To Seduce Any Woman
If any thing, there is a SINGLE reason why men choose to improve their social skills.
It might not be politically correct, but I like to deal in facts, so even though I might offend a few feminists out there by revealing this, here goes nothing...
Almost all men get into learning about seduction so they can bed more girls!
There, I said it.
Now, that's not to say that guys don't want things OTHER than getting it on! By and large, lots of guys are look for girlfriends and wives, and genuinely want to settle down.
But initially, getting it on more is the motivating factor.
And seduction is the process by which a man goes about getting a piece. If you can't seduce a woman, you can't get her to sleep with you. It's as simple as that.
Luckily, the art of seduction can be broken down into a process one can follow to get similar results time and time again.
It's not an easy process though, and it can take time. You'll go through the rings of dating, attracting, then bedding the girl.
The problem is with the closing for most guys. The actual seduction - where you close the deal, can be difficult because men often blow it before that happens. They can meet and get the dates, but this last part stymies many men.
In situations like this, you need to be building the seduction from the get-go, so you're not suddenly trying to switch gears once date number one is coming to a close.
Real seduction is all about building up and sustaining PHYSICAL TENSION.
"What is this tension?" you may ask?
Well, simply put, physical tension is all amping up feelings of arousal, without letting them be satisfied.
Guys experience physical tension ALL THE TIME. All they need to do is see a pretty girl and start talking to her, and those feelings of arousal can barely be contained.
The trick in seduction is to make the woman feel the same way!
A woman, eventually, will want to satisfy those desires. There is just one way.
The real process of seduction is amping up the feelings of desire and arousal in a woman, to the point where she is practically begging you to take her into the bedroom so all this pent-up tension can be released.
So how do I create this sort of tension in a girl?
Well, there are various methods on how to do this. A lot of them are quite advanced (and very effective), but for the purposes of this article, I'm going to keep things simple.
The first thing you must do in seduction is to lay the groundwork for tension. This comes in the form of "playful teasing."
Think of how you would tease a friend or a sibling. It would be good-natured teasing, am I right? But in this situation, we want to add a sexual element to the equation.
So for instance, if you're with a girl on a date, and you order a drink, you could say "So if I have a few drinks, you're not going to take advantage of me and just use me for getting some, are you?"
This is a fun and playful way of teasing the girl about wanting to sleep with you, WITHOUT coming off as creepy or blatant.
This is critical, getting her mind wondering on about getting amorous. If she is, and you are the one who got her thinking about it, she'll eventually be thinking about what sleeping with you will be like.
Once you start with the teasing - don't overdo it! Just throw in one of these quips every now and then.
After this, you'll want to start touching the girl as much as possible, without coming across as though you're trying to grope or feel her up. The act of physical contact can do a lot to amp up physical tension.
So touching her on her hand, her wrist, her leg, thigh, lower back, and elbow can go a long way to establishing those feelings of connection. You can do this at any point while talking to her. You can even try and get closer to her while you are talking. Proximity is important as well.
Now its time to amp up your body language. Let her know, with your eyes, that you're feeling attraction for her - but never say it and keep playing coy.
This is called sending "mixed signals." She thinks you're into her, but there is a measure of doubt, which really amps up the tension. Before long, she'll want to find out for sure if you're into her or not.
Next, it's time to move towards more obvious forms of of discussion. Begin asking her about her fantasies. Try to figure out what turns her on. Keep teasing her and touching her as she talks about what she enjoys.
Finally, it's time to get physical. At some point, you're going to have to make your move, because the physical sensation of kissing and being petted will really start to amp up those feelings of desire she's experiencing.
>From there, you must take it upon yourself to lead her towards doing what you want. For instance, taking her by the hand and pulling her towards the bedroom.
This is important, because you don't just want to stay stuck making out, you want things to escalate. Don't put the burden on her to move things forward, you must be the one to do it yourself.
Do all the above things I mentioned, and any woman that you meet can be seduced.
It might not be politically correct, but I like to deal in facts, so even though I might offend a few feminists out there by revealing this, here goes nothing...
Almost all men get into learning about seduction so they can bed more girls!
There, I said it.
Now, that's not to say that guys don't want things OTHER than getting it on! By and large, lots of guys are look for girlfriends and wives, and genuinely want to settle down.
But initially, getting it on more is the motivating factor.
And seduction is the process by which a man goes about getting a piece. If you can't seduce a woman, you can't get her to sleep with you. It's as simple as that.
Luckily, the art of seduction can be broken down into a process one can follow to get similar results time and time again.
It's not an easy process though, and it can take time. You'll go through the rings of dating, attracting, then bedding the girl.
The problem is with the closing for most guys. The actual seduction - where you close the deal, can be difficult because men often blow it before that happens. They can meet and get the dates, but this last part stymies many men.
In situations like this, you need to be building the seduction from the get-go, so you're not suddenly trying to switch gears once date number one is coming to a close.
Real seduction is all about building up and sustaining PHYSICAL TENSION.
"What is this tension?" you may ask?
Well, simply put, physical tension is all amping up feelings of arousal, without letting them be satisfied.
Guys experience physical tension ALL THE TIME. All they need to do is see a pretty girl and start talking to her, and those feelings of arousal can barely be contained.
The trick in seduction is to make the woman feel the same way!
A woman, eventually, will want to satisfy those desires. There is just one way.
The real process of seduction is amping up the feelings of desire and arousal in a woman, to the point where she is practically begging you to take her into the bedroom so all this pent-up tension can be released.
So how do I create this sort of tension in a girl?
Well, there are various methods on how to do this. A lot of them are quite advanced (and very effective), but for the purposes of this article, I'm going to keep things simple.
The first thing you must do in seduction is to lay the groundwork for tension. This comes in the form of "playful teasing."
Think of how you would tease a friend or a sibling. It would be good-natured teasing, am I right? But in this situation, we want to add a sexual element to the equation.
So for instance, if you're with a girl on a date, and you order a drink, you could say "So if I have a few drinks, you're not going to take advantage of me and just use me for getting some, are you?"
This is a fun and playful way of teasing the girl about wanting to sleep with you, WITHOUT coming off as creepy or blatant.
This is critical, getting her mind wondering on about getting amorous. If she is, and you are the one who got her thinking about it, she'll eventually be thinking about what sleeping with you will be like.
Once you start with the teasing - don't overdo it! Just throw in one of these quips every now and then.
After this, you'll want to start touching the girl as much as possible, without coming across as though you're trying to grope or feel her up. The act of physical contact can do a lot to amp up physical tension.
So touching her on her hand, her wrist, her leg, thigh, lower back, and elbow can go a long way to establishing those feelings of connection. You can do this at any point while talking to her. You can even try and get closer to her while you are talking. Proximity is important as well.
Now its time to amp up your body language. Let her know, with your eyes, that you're feeling attraction for her - but never say it and keep playing coy.
This is called sending "mixed signals." She thinks you're into her, but there is a measure of doubt, which really amps up the tension. Before long, she'll want to find out for sure if you're into her or not.
Next, it's time to move towards more obvious forms of of discussion. Begin asking her about her fantasies. Try to figure out what turns her on. Keep teasing her and touching her as she talks about what she enjoys.
Finally, it's time to get physical. At some point, you're going to have to make your move, because the physical sensation of kissing and being petted will really start to amp up those feelings of desire she's experiencing.
>From there, you must take it upon yourself to lead her towards doing what you want. For instance, taking her by the hand and pulling her towards the bedroom.
This is important, because you don't just want to stay stuck making out, you want things to escalate. Don't put the burden on her to move things forward, you must be the one to do it yourself.
Do all the above things I mentioned, and any woman that you meet can be seduced.
Making Her Resistance Fade Away
When dating, you will probably run into some resistance when it's time to get amorous. This won't always happen, but it'll occur enough to where you'll need to know what to do about it.
When resistance occurs, most guys take it as a form of rejection and give up! They won't even put up a fight, they'll just go along with the resistance and let it win.
What they don't know is that resistance can be overcome - and you can do it without being a jerk or forcing the girl to do something she doesn't want to do.
Typically, there are 2 causes of this type of resistance.
The first cause is LOGICAL. This is typically the easiest type of resistance to overcome. Logical resistance is where women think up objections to the two of you getting together. These objections sometimes include:
1. Are we moving too fast? I don't want him to think I'm easy.
2. I don't want to get pregnant or catch a disease.
3. What will my friends think if I hook up with this guy?
4. How do I know he's not just trying to use me?
5. I really like this guy and I don't want to screw it up by sleeping with him too soon.
And on, and on, and on.
The second cause is EMOTIONAL. This resistance stems from feelings that suddenly flare up. She might feel afraid, or insecure, or nervous, and give into these feelings, and come up with some type of excuse to do so.
Obviously, guys have a hard time with the emotional objections because they are usually oblivious to what the girl is feeling to begin with!
So how do we solve this problem? What is the way you deal with this resistance?
At some point, we started moving too fast. This caused her to close off, get skittish, or shut down completely.
All resistance, whether it be logical or emotional, stems from a lack of 2 critical things:
1.) TRUST
2.) COMFORT
When a woman trusts you and is completely comfortable with you, you will never experience any resistance from her. EVER. It is only when these things are lacking that resistance rears it's ugly head.
So in order to prevent resistance from occuring, you really have to focus on getting the girl you're with to trust you and feel comfortable with you.
When you do meet with resistance, it's important to work on developing more trust and comfort with the girl.
So how does one create trust and comfort?
Well, the two go hand in hand. If you can create one, the other will follow. The first way you can do this is to be relaxed and have fun when you're with the girl. Cracking jokes, laughing, and having a good time will relax her and make her feel comfortable around you.
Refrain from judging her and other people too harshly. Lack of trust and comfort usually stems from being judged and criticized. You need to let her know that she can make mistakes around you, and you won't punish her for them.
Make her feel safe. Let her know you're there for her when she needs you, and that you care for her. This goes a long way towards building trust and comfort.
And should she offer resistance to you, don't get angry or upset! Instead, acknowledge it, agree with it, and talk about it. Allow her to voice what's scaring her and help her work through it.
Over time she'll get comfortable enough with the situation, and that resistance will become a thing of the past.
When resistance occurs, most guys take it as a form of rejection and give up! They won't even put up a fight, they'll just go along with the resistance and let it win.
What they don't know is that resistance can be overcome - and you can do it without being a jerk or forcing the girl to do something she doesn't want to do.
Typically, there are 2 causes of this type of resistance.
The first cause is LOGICAL. This is typically the easiest type of resistance to overcome. Logical resistance is where women think up objections to the two of you getting together. These objections sometimes include:
1. Are we moving too fast? I don't want him to think I'm easy.
2. I don't want to get pregnant or catch a disease.
3. What will my friends think if I hook up with this guy?
4. How do I know he's not just trying to use me?
5. I really like this guy and I don't want to screw it up by sleeping with him too soon.
And on, and on, and on.
The second cause is EMOTIONAL. This resistance stems from feelings that suddenly flare up. She might feel afraid, or insecure, or nervous, and give into these feelings, and come up with some type of excuse to do so.
Obviously, guys have a hard time with the emotional objections because they are usually oblivious to what the girl is feeling to begin with!
So how do we solve this problem? What is the way you deal with this resistance?
At some point, we started moving too fast. This caused her to close off, get skittish, or shut down completely.
All resistance, whether it be logical or emotional, stems from a lack of 2 critical things:
1.) TRUST
2.) COMFORT
When a woman trusts you and is completely comfortable with you, you will never experience any resistance from her. EVER. It is only when these things are lacking that resistance rears it's ugly head.
So in order to prevent resistance from occuring, you really have to focus on getting the girl you're with to trust you and feel comfortable with you.
When you do meet with resistance, it's important to work on developing more trust and comfort with the girl.
So how does one create trust and comfort?
Well, the two go hand in hand. If you can create one, the other will follow. The first way you can do this is to be relaxed and have fun when you're with the girl. Cracking jokes, laughing, and having a good time will relax her and make her feel comfortable around you.
Refrain from judging her and other people too harshly. Lack of trust and comfort usually stems from being judged and criticized. You need to let her know that she can make mistakes around you, and you won't punish her for them.
Make her feel safe. Let her know you're there for her when she needs you, and that you care for her. This goes a long way towards building trust and comfort.
And should she offer resistance to you, don't get angry or upset! Instead, acknowledge it, agree with it, and talk about it. Allow her to voice what's scaring her and help her work through it.
Over time she'll get comfortable enough with the situation, and that resistance will become a thing of the past.
2012年8月25日星期六
6 Tips to Follow to Win Your Ex Back
Life can be hectic when you are in the midst of a breakup. However, your life doesn't have to feel like or looks like a wreck to win back your ex. In fact, by following six simple guidelines, you can get past the heartbreak and move on with your life. If fail to contemplate these guidelines, winning back your ex will be very hard. They are:
Tip 1 - Don't Be Aggressive
One of the most important things you should know is not to be aggressive when you are attempting to get back together with your ex. Instead, let your ex have the space he or she needs so they can work through their own emotions. When trying to win your ex back please do not pressure them into giving you another chance, you do more harm than good. When you are constantly seeing one another, you can't move past the hurt that you both feel. This leads to increase anxiety and more anger.
Tip 2 - Use Your Pain
It's natural to feel upset about the breakup. You wouldn't be human if you didn't feel the hurt. However, this pain should never control what you do and how you go about doing things. Instead, use your pain to keep you moving forward. Motivate yourself by figuring out what went wrong in the relationship.
Tip 3 - Don't Try Changing Your Ex
Many people believe that making a relationship works means to fix/change things about their ex. This isn't true. The only person who can change your ex is your ex. Just like you can only change things about yourself. It's up to you to fix your own problems. If you want your ex back, only you can win them back. Not anyone else can win them back for you.
Tip 4 – Don't Believe Everything You See
If you are out on the town with your friends, don't be too shocked if you see your ex out with someone else. The chances of the relationship being a rebound are great. You should also do a rebound relationship yourself to help you move things along. Just because your ex is seeing other people do not mean that you don't have another chance to win them back. There is always a chance when it comes to love and relationships.
Tip 5 – Hanging on When It's Final
Learn to know when to move on. If you know the relationship isn't meant for a second chance but you can't help but feel that you need to stay in your ex's life, you may be considered a stalker. This is more so, if your presence is not wanted. Make sure you recognize that the relationship failed and that you have moved on with your life as they have done so for themselves.
Tip 6 – Recognize and Fix the Relationship Problems
Make sure that you fix the problems that plagued your relationship the first time around. If you try to get back together without fixing them, the relationship will be doomed from the start. You both do not want the same mistakes to rear their ugly heads so make sure you work them out before making a second go around of the relationship. If things return back to the way they were before, there's a good chance the relationship will fail again.
You won't be able to win them back if you stay depressed and hope your ex will return. Try following these 6 tips and guidelines it does help win your ex back as well as to move on with your life.
Tip 1 - Don't Be Aggressive
One of the most important things you should know is not to be aggressive when you are attempting to get back together with your ex. Instead, let your ex have the space he or she needs so they can work through their own emotions. When trying to win your ex back please do not pressure them into giving you another chance, you do more harm than good. When you are constantly seeing one another, you can't move past the hurt that you both feel. This leads to increase anxiety and more anger.
Tip 2 - Use Your Pain
It's natural to feel upset about the breakup. You wouldn't be human if you didn't feel the hurt. However, this pain should never control what you do and how you go about doing things. Instead, use your pain to keep you moving forward. Motivate yourself by figuring out what went wrong in the relationship.
Tip 3 - Don't Try Changing Your Ex
Many people believe that making a relationship works means to fix/change things about their ex. This isn't true. The only person who can change your ex is your ex. Just like you can only change things about yourself. It's up to you to fix your own problems. If you want your ex back, only you can win them back. Not anyone else can win them back for you.
Tip 4 – Don't Believe Everything You See
If you are out on the town with your friends, don't be too shocked if you see your ex out with someone else. The chances of the relationship being a rebound are great. You should also do a rebound relationship yourself to help you move things along. Just because your ex is seeing other people do not mean that you don't have another chance to win them back. There is always a chance when it comes to love and relationships.
Tip 5 – Hanging on When It's Final
Learn to know when to move on. If you know the relationship isn't meant for a second chance but you can't help but feel that you need to stay in your ex's life, you may be considered a stalker. This is more so, if your presence is not wanted. Make sure you recognize that the relationship failed and that you have moved on with your life as they have done so for themselves.
Tip 6 – Recognize and Fix the Relationship Problems
Make sure that you fix the problems that plagued your relationship the first time around. If you try to get back together without fixing them, the relationship will be doomed from the start. You both do not want the same mistakes to rear their ugly heads so make sure you work them out before making a second go around of the relationship. If things return back to the way they were before, there's a good chance the relationship will fail again.
You won't be able to win them back if you stay depressed and hope your ex will return. Try following these 6 tips and guidelines it does help win your ex back as well as to move on with your life.
The Right Way To Get A Woman To Go Out With You
Everyone thinks they know how the dating game is supposed to be played. You see a girl you're attracted to, you approach her, and you ask her out. Sometimes you get lucky, most of the time you get rejected, and that's that.
The truth is... it's the wrong way to go about this!
The first thing to remember is that when you "ask a woman out", you IMMEDIATELY start a whole chain of mental and emotional events for a woman.
She has to decide if she "likes you" and if there could ever be anything between the two of you. This is because women realize that when you ask them out, you're doing so because you're interested in them romantically.
But when you do this, you're also doing something else that puts you at a terrible disadvantage!
Asking a woman out puts her in the driver's seat of the situation because she instantly realizes that she has something you want. Have you ever heard of "supply and demand?" It's when the price goes up the greater the demand.
When you ask a woman to go out with you, you want to do so in a way where she can't just say "Yes or No." You want it to happen on your terms, without setting off all the alarm bells and creating discomfort.
You must remember, most guys do the same things that the next guy does. After they start talking, they ask something lame like "Hey, can I take you out?" or "Do you have a boyfriend?"
This stuff is HORRIBLE. It does exactly the wrong thing to say. It makes you look like a desperate guy that needs a girlfriend. And if she's not interested (which she probably won't be), then it WILL create some discomfort in the future.
Instead, you need to be tactful. You need to come up with a way to give the woman opportunities to hang out with you that are subtle and innocent. In other words - take baby steps.
Engage the girl you like. Have fun with her. Joke with her. Tease her. Act like you are not interested in her at all - and whatever you do, don't be BORING!
If she's engaging you back, laughing, and having a good time, that will give you a clue if she's open to seeing more of you. Then, it's time to hit her up with this line:
"Hey, you seem fun. I'm going to be doing X tomorrow night, you wanna come along?"
Of course, X is some type of activity you'll be involved in - going to a club, checking out a band, seeing a movie, whatever. The idea is that you are already doing something, and you are giving her the opportunity to participate in it!
This is VERY different from just coming straight out and asking her on a date. It's more innocent, and the romantic pressure isn't there. After all, you were "already" going to be doing this before you met her, right?
If she's game, ask her for her number or email address so you can get her the details. If she declines, let her know you're doing something the following week, and if she gives you her number or email address, you'll let her know about it.
Either way - YOU WIN!
Because you HAVEN'T asked her on a date, you HAVEN'T created any kinds of weird vibes in the air, and you HAVEN'T made her wonder what you have in mind. Instead, you've just given her an opportunity to have more fun with you.
This is very powerful. Think about it.
The truth is... it's the wrong way to go about this!
The first thing to remember is that when you "ask a woman out", you IMMEDIATELY start a whole chain of mental and emotional events for a woman.
She has to decide if she "likes you" and if there could ever be anything between the two of you. This is because women realize that when you ask them out, you're doing so because you're interested in them romantically.
But when you do this, you're also doing something else that puts you at a terrible disadvantage!
Asking a woman out puts her in the driver's seat of the situation because she instantly realizes that she has something you want. Have you ever heard of "supply and demand?" It's when the price goes up the greater the demand.
When you ask a woman to go out with you, you want to do so in a way where she can't just say "Yes or No." You want it to happen on your terms, without setting off all the alarm bells and creating discomfort.
You must remember, most guys do the same things that the next guy does. After they start talking, they ask something lame like "Hey, can I take you out?" or "Do you have a boyfriend?"
This stuff is HORRIBLE. It does exactly the wrong thing to say. It makes you look like a desperate guy that needs a girlfriend. And if she's not interested (which she probably won't be), then it WILL create some discomfort in the future.
Instead, you need to be tactful. You need to come up with a way to give the woman opportunities to hang out with you that are subtle and innocent. In other words - take baby steps.
Engage the girl you like. Have fun with her. Joke with her. Tease her. Act like you are not interested in her at all - and whatever you do, don't be BORING!
If she's engaging you back, laughing, and having a good time, that will give you a clue if she's open to seeing more of you. Then, it's time to hit her up with this line:
"Hey, you seem fun. I'm going to be doing X tomorrow night, you wanna come along?"
Of course, X is some type of activity you'll be involved in - going to a club, checking out a band, seeing a movie, whatever. The idea is that you are already doing something, and you are giving her the opportunity to participate in it!
This is VERY different from just coming straight out and asking her on a date. It's more innocent, and the romantic pressure isn't there. After all, you were "already" going to be doing this before you met her, right?
If she's game, ask her for her number or email address so you can get her the details. If she declines, let her know you're doing something the following week, and if she gives you her number or email address, you'll let her know about it.
Either way - YOU WIN!
Because you HAVEN'T asked her on a date, you HAVEN'T created any kinds of weird vibes in the air, and you HAVEN'T made her wonder what you have in mind. Instead, you've just given her an opportunity to have more fun with you.
This is very powerful. Think about it.
Understanding & Dating A Widow
Recently, I was in a relationship that was quite unusual for me. I dated a striking, but reserved young lady, who just so happened to be a widow. It was beyond the normal scope of things for me. I knew something was different, but I didn't feel like something was "funny". She was preoccupied by the situation, which made sense to me.
Many guys like to play a strong game with an attractive woman. Generally, they have no choice as a woman will play games to start off. In this situation, it wasn't the time nor place to act in this manner. No one needed to get the "upper hand" so to speak.
Needless to say, the whole experience was humbling, and I learned a few things that I'll share with you.
As I mentioned above, it's not a time to play the cut throat. You have to know that you aren't just here for a wild fling. You'll have to be very understanding of the situation. She isn't trying to put a guy through the grinder, like many women do. She's trying to feel normal, and to move on with her life. You are dealing with an emotionally wounded person, so act appropriately.
Once it is apparent that this is the situation, you must choose whether or not to continue the relationship. You will be getting yourself into a situation that requires more forethought than a normal relationship. If children are a part of it, it's even tougher. If you choose to move on, you won't be a bad person for it.
If you stay with her, you'll have to live with a few things. You won't be able to replace the husband. Don't even try. He was taken from her, and given that, the grieving process can be difficult and uneven. You have to allow her grief to run it's course, no matter when it happens.
This can be tough, as any little thing can remind her of the deceased. That is why you need to make a decision and stay with it. A perfectly great night can be ruined in a moment, and there is little to be done about it.
Something else to remember is this: allow her to escape this issue, even if for a short time. Be an outlet for some fun. She'll move on quicker, and the night will seem like any other date. Just push for fun, some excitement, but be mindful. Any don't bring HIM up. That's the last thing either of you wants. If she wants to talk about it, let her, and move on from the topic when you are ready.
In regards to what I've written above, I think it's pretty obvious you shouldn't try to push to get her into bed. Control of that should be hers, and hers alone. Not to say that you can't flirt, or make her feel desired. She'll definitely appreciate that. But she will probably need to make the next step on her own.
It will take time, but these things will change. Be understanding of her situation, but other wise, treat her like any other human being. You could end up having a wonderful relationship with her. But you will have to allow things to run their course. It will be a better situation for all parties involved.
Many guys like to play a strong game with an attractive woman. Generally, they have no choice as a woman will play games to start off. In this situation, it wasn't the time nor place to act in this manner. No one needed to get the "upper hand" so to speak.
Needless to say, the whole experience was humbling, and I learned a few things that I'll share with you.
As I mentioned above, it's not a time to play the cut throat. You have to know that you aren't just here for a wild fling. You'll have to be very understanding of the situation. She isn't trying to put a guy through the grinder, like many women do. She's trying to feel normal, and to move on with her life. You are dealing with an emotionally wounded person, so act appropriately.
Once it is apparent that this is the situation, you must choose whether or not to continue the relationship. You will be getting yourself into a situation that requires more forethought than a normal relationship. If children are a part of it, it's even tougher. If you choose to move on, you won't be a bad person for it.
If you stay with her, you'll have to live with a few things. You won't be able to replace the husband. Don't even try. He was taken from her, and given that, the grieving process can be difficult and uneven. You have to allow her grief to run it's course, no matter when it happens.
This can be tough, as any little thing can remind her of the deceased. That is why you need to make a decision and stay with it. A perfectly great night can be ruined in a moment, and there is little to be done about it.
Something else to remember is this: allow her to escape this issue, even if for a short time. Be an outlet for some fun. She'll move on quicker, and the night will seem like any other date. Just push for fun, some excitement, but be mindful. Any don't bring HIM up. That's the last thing either of you wants. If she wants to talk about it, let her, and move on from the topic when you are ready.
In regards to what I've written above, I think it's pretty obvious you shouldn't try to push to get her into bed. Control of that should be hers, and hers alone. Not to say that you can't flirt, or make her feel desired. She'll definitely appreciate that. But she will probably need to make the next step on her own.
It will take time, but these things will change. Be understanding of her situation, but other wise, treat her like any other human being. You could end up having a wonderful relationship with her. But you will have to allow things to run their course. It will be a better situation for all parties involved.
Kansas City Wedding
The Kansas City wedding style is a very different and unique style of wedding. If you are interested in such a type of wedding, this article will be of great help to you. It discusses some of the significant issues like the cakes, bridal fashions, reception venues, jewelers, decorations, videographers, DJs and music, etc and many more things of the Kansas City wedding style.
We know wedding is a challenging and an exciting experience. That’s why we have assembled a lost of Kansas City wedding tips, articles, vendors, etc that will help you to pan your Kansas City wedding.
First, let us take a look at the wedding accommodations in a Kansas City wedding style. The accommodation should be convenient and comfortable to your guests with all the amenities and facilities provided in hand. This is a great way to impress your guests. Offer a perfect Bed & Breakfast or a glamorous boutique hotel in the heart of the city to set the mood of your guests as soon as they arrive. You will have to hire a renowned dress designer for the wedding bridal fashions. Selecting a perfect wedding dress may be a stressful task, but you should be confident enough to start form the right place. There are a number of Kansas City wedding boutiques. Refer them and make your selection from one of these boutiques as a tasteful wedding style goes beyond your wedding dress. You can also find other accessories here such as bridesmaid’s dress, groom’s fashion, and your complete wedding party accessories that you make you appear fabulous.
Weddings always begin with a small accessory a wedding ring. Make your Kansas City wedding jewelry from the Kansas City wedding jewelers only. They are skilled jewelers and know everything of this style of wedding. They will surely point you towards the right direction. They are wonderfully experienced and talented jewelers in the city for all your matrimonial needs like wedding bands, groomsmen gifts, bridesmaid’s jewelry, engagement rings, etc.
Don’t forget to hire a photographer and a videographer for such a special occasion. All your emotions, excitements and feelings should be caught into a photo film that you can see later and cherish yourself with pleasant feelings and memories of the past. The Kansas City wedding photographers know exactly how much to capture in a photo film. He will elegantly create a portrait of your joyous wedding right from the start to the end.
Enjoy all the aspects of the Kansas City wedding and make your day a very specials and an unforgettable day.
We know wedding is a challenging and an exciting experience. That’s why we have assembled a lost of Kansas City wedding tips, articles, vendors, etc that will help you to pan your Kansas City wedding.
First, let us take a look at the wedding accommodations in a Kansas City wedding style. The accommodation should be convenient and comfortable to your guests with all the amenities and facilities provided in hand. This is a great way to impress your guests. Offer a perfect Bed & Breakfast or a glamorous boutique hotel in the heart of the city to set the mood of your guests as soon as they arrive. You will have to hire a renowned dress designer for the wedding bridal fashions. Selecting a perfect wedding dress may be a stressful task, but you should be confident enough to start form the right place. There are a number of Kansas City wedding boutiques. Refer them and make your selection from one of these boutiques as a tasteful wedding style goes beyond your wedding dress. You can also find other accessories here such as bridesmaid’s dress, groom’s fashion, and your complete wedding party accessories that you make you appear fabulous.
Weddings always begin with a small accessory a wedding ring. Make your Kansas City wedding jewelry from the Kansas City wedding jewelers only. They are skilled jewelers and know everything of this style of wedding. They will surely point you towards the right direction. They are wonderfully experienced and talented jewelers in the city for all your matrimonial needs like wedding bands, groomsmen gifts, bridesmaid’s jewelry, engagement rings, etc.
Don’t forget to hire a photographer and a videographer for such a special occasion. All your emotions, excitements and feelings should be caught into a photo film that you can see later and cherish yourself with pleasant feelings and memories of the past. The Kansas City wedding photographers know exactly how much to capture in a photo film. He will elegantly create a portrait of your joyous wedding right from the start to the end.
Enjoy all the aspects of the Kansas City wedding and make your day a very specials and an unforgettable day.
2012年8月24日星期五
Five Wedding Reception Guest Must Do’s
A wedding reception is one part of the wedding that the guest will always be excited about. After the formal ceremony of exchanging vows, the couple and the guests are most likely exhausted. They need to reenergize to keep their energy in high levels to continue with the rest of the activities. Reception is synonymous for the time to recharge, to let loose and to celebrate.
#1) Most of the receptions are composed of two parts. The first one usually consists of the wedding traditions commonly practiced. Such traditions include the first slow dancing as husband and wife; throwing of the bouquet and the garter belt; slicing of the cake and kissing of the doves are done during this part. It is also in this part that the wedding toasts are delivered.
The second part is a tad more informal. This is where the food and champagne come in. Dancing and other intermission numbers are apparent. This is the perfect time to truly celebrate the occasion.
#2) Making the most out of the wedding reception is easy. Taking pictures is a must. What better way to remember this special day than capture images? Take snapshots of the place and the people. Put into pictures the activities that the guests did during the reception.
#3) Mingling is one of the best things to do in a reception. Instead of sulking in a corner, getting to know the friends and relatives of the couple will make the occasion worth the attendance. They may have an amusing story about the bride and the groom that they can share.
#4) Of course, despite the merry-making spirit in a reception, one must act appropriately at all times. Putting manners and etiquette in mind will keep the occasion’s tone lifted. This means refraining from using harsh tones, doing dirty dancing, ransacking the dessert table or yelling at guests.
#5) Most importantly, coming to a reception as a guest requires one to respect other guests. If one accidentally bumps into another who happened to be his/her worst enemy, for the sake of the occasion and common decency, it is suggested that they be civil on each other. Initiating a cat fight is definitely not a way to respect other guests.
A wedding is indeed an occasion that must be celebrated. This is the reason wedding receptions were made. Make the celebration more memorable and more festive by making the most out of it. Act appropriately, respect other guests and take pictures. Most importantly, have fun.
To your beautiful wedding!
#1) Most of the receptions are composed of two parts. The first one usually consists of the wedding traditions commonly practiced. Such traditions include the first slow dancing as husband and wife; throwing of the bouquet and the garter belt; slicing of the cake and kissing of the doves are done during this part. It is also in this part that the wedding toasts are delivered.
The second part is a tad more informal. This is where the food and champagne come in. Dancing and other intermission numbers are apparent. This is the perfect time to truly celebrate the occasion.
#2) Making the most out of the wedding reception is easy. Taking pictures is a must. What better way to remember this special day than capture images? Take snapshots of the place and the people. Put into pictures the activities that the guests did during the reception.
#3) Mingling is one of the best things to do in a reception. Instead of sulking in a corner, getting to know the friends and relatives of the couple will make the occasion worth the attendance. They may have an amusing story about the bride and the groom that they can share.
#4) Of course, despite the merry-making spirit in a reception, one must act appropriately at all times. Putting manners and etiquette in mind will keep the occasion’s tone lifted. This means refraining from using harsh tones, doing dirty dancing, ransacking the dessert table or yelling at guests.
#5) Most importantly, coming to a reception as a guest requires one to respect other guests. If one accidentally bumps into another who happened to be his/her worst enemy, for the sake of the occasion and common decency, it is suggested that they be civil on each other. Initiating a cat fight is definitely not a way to respect other guests.
A wedding is indeed an occasion that must be celebrated. This is the reason wedding receptions were made. Make the celebration more memorable and more festive by making the most out of it. Act appropriately, respect other guests and take pictures. Most importantly, have fun.
To your beautiful wedding!
I Want My Ex Girlfriend Back - Shocking Secrets To Bring Her Back
Do you regret breaking up with your ex girlfriend? Do you want her back, almost as much as you want the breath of life? If so, the idea of getting back with her has crossed your mind. Quite possibly, you think of her every moment of the day. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. People end relationships all the time, and not surprisingly, many men just like you, find themselves saying, "I want my ex girlfriend back."
Of course, when your every thought revolves around bringing your ex girlfriend back into your life, it's easy to jump to the conclusion that she wants you back. You may think she's ready to give the relationship a second chance, but don't flatter yourself too much. Realize that she has a life, too, and you're going to have to work hard to get back into that life.
With that in mind, there are a few things you're going to need to do.
Make her feel special
Show her you've changed
Making her feel special
If you thought making her feel special meant calling her every three hours, put the skids on your action plan, at least for the moment. What you're going to have to do here is show her how much she means to you. She needs to know how essential she is to your happiness. Show her in small ways that you think of her. This could mean offering to help her solve problems or writing her a letter just to say 'hi.'
Tell her you were thinking about her the other day, but don't go into details.
The new you
You've grown since the breakup. You've had time to figure out where you went wrong and what you could have done to keep her. If there was a lack of communication in the relationship, send her an email once in a while, to show you're thinking of her. This also shows her that you would make her life happier. It proves that she can trust you now, even more than she did before.
Whatever you do, remember that rebuilding trust can be a challenge. Some people take longer to heal than others. Give your ex girlfriend time to regain her trust for you. And you will be one step closer to bringing her back into your life.
Of course, when your every thought revolves around bringing your ex girlfriend back into your life, it's easy to jump to the conclusion that she wants you back. You may think she's ready to give the relationship a second chance, but don't flatter yourself too much. Realize that she has a life, too, and you're going to have to work hard to get back into that life.
With that in mind, there are a few things you're going to need to do.
Make her feel special
Show her you've changed
Making her feel special
If you thought making her feel special meant calling her every three hours, put the skids on your action plan, at least for the moment. What you're going to have to do here is show her how much she means to you. She needs to know how essential she is to your happiness. Show her in small ways that you think of her. This could mean offering to help her solve problems or writing her a letter just to say 'hi.'
Tell her you were thinking about her the other day, but don't go into details.
The new you
You've grown since the breakup. You've had time to figure out where you went wrong and what you could have done to keep her. If there was a lack of communication in the relationship, send her an email once in a while, to show you're thinking of her. This also shows her that you would make her life happier. It proves that she can trust you now, even more than she did before.
Whatever you do, remember that rebuilding trust can be a challenge. Some people take longer to heal than others. Give your ex girlfriend time to regain her trust for you. And you will be one step closer to bringing her back into your life.
Approaching Women: A Guide For Shy Guys
For a shy guy to meet women, it can be very difficult.
In fact, this is no small feat for most guys, but even more so for the guy who considers himself to be "shy."
I'd even argue that shy guys tend to get the short-end-of-the-stick, so to speak, when it comes to women and relationships in general!
The reason for this is that if a girl is shy, she can still have guys coming up and approaching her, and eventually find a boyfriend. However, your average shy guy isn't going to get women coming his way anytime soon.
It's the sad reality of men is that we are the ones destined to be the pursuers. Women won't approach us, we have to be the ones to walk up to THEM and do all the work.
If we don't approach, we don't get the girl.
Sucks, right?
And sadly - shy guys just don't approach women! And because of this, they tend to end up alone and desperate most of the time.
Well, don't worry too much. Approaching women isn't as hard as you might think - ESPECIALLY if you're dealing with shyness. You just need to follow a few simple tips, and before you know it, you'll be dealing with more women than you can handle.
1. Memorize A Few Good Pick Up Lines
One of the biggest reasons why shy guys don't approach a woman is because their brain FREEZES and they can't think of anything to say.
It's tough spinning some smooth lines off on the spot. Hence, it's a great idea to have a line you can use that you know will work. That way, you don't get caught "thinking" on the spot.
Pick up lines get a bad rap, because we always hear the BAD ones. You know, the kind like "I lost my number, can I have yours?" "Did you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them?" and of course, the always popular "Why don't you come back to my place for pizza and sex. What? You don't like pizza?"
Some still use them though, and they are terrible. And get terrible results.
A good pick up line is simply something that engages a girl and gets her TALKING to you. Once you get a conversation going, you can take it pretty much anywhere you want.
Using a line like "Hey, in your opinion, would you ever want to date a guy who spends three hours a day in the gym?" is much more effective than any of the bad pick up lines you hear.
It may seem like a random question, but you're asking her about a genuine opinion she might have, and of course, this conversation can lead to talking about past relationships, guys she's dated, and what she finds attractive in guys (all good information to know, right?).
A good pickup line doesn't have to wow the girl. It just needs to get her talking. But try and stay away from chatting about World Of Warcraft and your Star Trek DVD Box Set. Save that convo for the third date.
2. Utilize The Power Of Negative Visualization
A big reason shy guys balk at meeting a girl is because they are too "intimidated" by her beauty. It makes them nervous or scared to approach.
That's why I recommend you use the power of "negative" visualization to make that hot chick seem less desirable!
Imagine her with really hairy legs, a moustache, a huge boil on her nose, and really bad body odor.
Not so appealing anymore, right?
When a shy guy is able to turn his attraction level for a woman down a few notches, it helps him to find the courage to approach her, because suddenly, she's not so intimidating anymore.
This can really help you to relax, and maybe even have a little bit of fun! And that's never a bad thing.
3. Have Some Interesting Stories To Tell
The hardest part about meeting new women is not having anything fun or interesting to talk to them about!
An awkward pause in the conversation can mean DEATH for the interaction. And most shy guys will let an opportunity to meet a girl pass them by because of the excuse "I don't know what to talk to her about."
But the dirty little secret of approaching women is that you don't NEED much to talk about with them. If you have just a few interesting stories to tell, you're good. The rest of the time, you can just ask her questions and let her talk about herself.
The stories don't even have to be about you! They can be about a friend of yours, or about a news story you saw. It doesn't matter, as long as you have some fun and entertaining stuff you know you can talk about with a girl when there is a lull in the conversation.
This will help you avoid any awkwardness you may feel when approaching a woman.
4. Don't Think About It - Just Do It!
If given enough time to think about it, a shy guy will talk himself out of approaching a girl. The trick is to act before your brain has time to rationalize an excuse not to approach.
Before three seconds are up, you should say "Hi!"
Just say it. "Hi". Act then and there.
Odds are she'll say "Hi" back, and when she does, use your pick up line. Congratulations, you've started a conversation!
Shyness is caused by allowing your brain to visualize all the bad outcomes of an interaction with a girl. Don't give it the chance! Pull a Nike, and just do it.
5. Utilize Online Dating
Finally, shy guys should be using the internet to help them meet women. This actually serves two purposes...
First off, it helps shy guys meet women without actually having to talk to them at first, so there is enough time to build up some trust and comfort there. By the time the first date rolls around, most of the hard work has been done!
Secondly, going online can give you OPTIONS. Typically, shy guys don't have a lot of women available to them, so they place a great deal of importance on each girl they like.
But if you have 5-10 women emailing you, all wanting to meet up, this will give you an ABUNDANCE mentality, and make it easier to approach women in real life because you know if it doesn't work out, you still have lots of other girls wanting to meet you.
This is a HUGE psychological benefit!
We learn to be shy. It's not inherent. So with some practice, we can learn to be not shy. It takes effort, but you'll improve quickly.
Before you know it, your shyness will be a thing of the past.
In fact, this is no small feat for most guys, but even more so for the guy who considers himself to be "shy."
I'd even argue that shy guys tend to get the short-end-of-the-stick, so to speak, when it comes to women and relationships in general!
The reason for this is that if a girl is shy, she can still have guys coming up and approaching her, and eventually find a boyfriend. However, your average shy guy isn't going to get women coming his way anytime soon.
It's the sad reality of men is that we are the ones destined to be the pursuers. Women won't approach us, we have to be the ones to walk up to THEM and do all the work.
If we don't approach, we don't get the girl.
Sucks, right?
And sadly - shy guys just don't approach women! And because of this, they tend to end up alone and desperate most of the time.
Well, don't worry too much. Approaching women isn't as hard as you might think - ESPECIALLY if you're dealing with shyness. You just need to follow a few simple tips, and before you know it, you'll be dealing with more women than you can handle.
1. Memorize A Few Good Pick Up Lines
One of the biggest reasons why shy guys don't approach a woman is because their brain FREEZES and they can't think of anything to say.
It's tough spinning some smooth lines off on the spot. Hence, it's a great idea to have a line you can use that you know will work. That way, you don't get caught "thinking" on the spot.
Pick up lines get a bad rap, because we always hear the BAD ones. You know, the kind like "I lost my number, can I have yours?" "Did you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them?" and of course, the always popular "Why don't you come back to my place for pizza and sex. What? You don't like pizza?"
Some still use them though, and they are terrible. And get terrible results.
A good pick up line is simply something that engages a girl and gets her TALKING to you. Once you get a conversation going, you can take it pretty much anywhere you want.
Using a line like "Hey, in your opinion, would you ever want to date a guy who spends three hours a day in the gym?" is much more effective than any of the bad pick up lines you hear.
It may seem like a random question, but you're asking her about a genuine opinion she might have, and of course, this conversation can lead to talking about past relationships, guys she's dated, and what she finds attractive in guys (all good information to know, right?).
A good pickup line doesn't have to wow the girl. It just needs to get her talking. But try and stay away from chatting about World Of Warcraft and your Star Trek DVD Box Set. Save that convo for the third date.
2. Utilize The Power Of Negative Visualization
A big reason shy guys balk at meeting a girl is because they are too "intimidated" by her beauty. It makes them nervous or scared to approach.
That's why I recommend you use the power of "negative" visualization to make that hot chick seem less desirable!
Imagine her with really hairy legs, a moustache, a huge boil on her nose, and really bad body odor.
Not so appealing anymore, right?
When a shy guy is able to turn his attraction level for a woman down a few notches, it helps him to find the courage to approach her, because suddenly, she's not so intimidating anymore.
This can really help you to relax, and maybe even have a little bit of fun! And that's never a bad thing.
3. Have Some Interesting Stories To Tell
The hardest part about meeting new women is not having anything fun or interesting to talk to them about!
An awkward pause in the conversation can mean DEATH for the interaction. And most shy guys will let an opportunity to meet a girl pass them by because of the excuse "I don't know what to talk to her about."
But the dirty little secret of approaching women is that you don't NEED much to talk about with them. If you have just a few interesting stories to tell, you're good. The rest of the time, you can just ask her questions and let her talk about herself.
The stories don't even have to be about you! They can be about a friend of yours, or about a news story you saw. It doesn't matter, as long as you have some fun and entertaining stuff you know you can talk about with a girl when there is a lull in the conversation.
This will help you avoid any awkwardness you may feel when approaching a woman.
4. Don't Think About It - Just Do It!
If given enough time to think about it, a shy guy will talk himself out of approaching a girl. The trick is to act before your brain has time to rationalize an excuse not to approach.
Before three seconds are up, you should say "Hi!"
Just say it. "Hi". Act then and there.
Odds are she'll say "Hi" back, and when she does, use your pick up line. Congratulations, you've started a conversation!
Shyness is caused by allowing your brain to visualize all the bad outcomes of an interaction with a girl. Don't give it the chance! Pull a Nike, and just do it.
5. Utilize Online Dating
Finally, shy guys should be using the internet to help them meet women. This actually serves two purposes...
First off, it helps shy guys meet women without actually having to talk to them at first, so there is enough time to build up some trust and comfort there. By the time the first date rolls around, most of the hard work has been done!
Secondly, going online can give you OPTIONS. Typically, shy guys don't have a lot of women available to them, so they place a great deal of importance on each girl they like.
But if you have 5-10 women emailing you, all wanting to meet up, this will give you an ABUNDANCE mentality, and make it easier to approach women in real life because you know if it doesn't work out, you still have lots of other girls wanting to meet you.
This is a HUGE psychological benefit!
We learn to be shy. It's not inherent. So with some practice, we can learn to be not shy. It takes effort, but you'll improve quickly.
Before you know it, your shyness will be a thing of the past.
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