Everyone has this happen, but I'm curious how often it happens for you: You find yourself really attracted to a girl, only to end up as her "friend."
I mean - it usually SEEMS like she's into you, right? It feels like you have a good rapport going on, and she appears interested...
But then, when you make your move, she looks surprised and lays the line on you:
"Let's just be friends."
>From there, you're confused, frustrated, and most of all - you feel like you somehow blew your shot.
Oddly enough, this happens all the time - even to "good looking" guys.
And guess what? Most guys have zero clue as to how or why this happens!
So what causes a girl to want to be "just friends?"
There is a HUGE reason actually. Most men do absolutely nothing to separate themselves from regular guys as to potential lovers.
In short: They lack the ability to "attract" the girl physically.
They play it safe. They never say anything off color. They never flirt. They never try and be anything but "friendly" to the girl.
And then they wonder why they get stuck as the friend.
Understand - from the moment you meet a girl, you must display that you're interested in her as more than "just friends" .
Now, that doesn't mean you have to come off like a desperate, sleazy pick up artist. You just need to communicate your interest in a way where the girl picks up on it, but it doesn't scare her off.
This is why so many guys MESS UP.
Some guys will flat out tell a girl they're interested in her. That can work sometimes, but this tactic will tend to scare off some women.
Then there are the guys who are SO SUBTLE in their overtures, that the girls never pick up on their hints that they're interested.
Therein lies the key. You've got to let her know you are interested in her, but you can't let her be completely sure of it.
This uncertainty will drive her nuts, as she can't be completely sure that you are into her. It will drive a certain physical/emotional tension in her.
This is a crucial part of attraction.
Without it, you get pegged as the gender-neutral friend.
With it, you are a viable candidate for an intimate relationship.
So how do you build this tension? What's the secret?
The biggest thing you can do is learn how to flirt with women! The art of flirting is about displaying your interest for a girl without ever coming out and SAYING it.
So she picks up on your signs of attraction, but she's not 100% sure about it.
Another thing is to have fun with the girl, while continuing to apply your flirting skills. Going out and having a good time together will create all types of fun feelings, but when you add in the "sensual" element of flirting, that tension is created.
Finally, resist falling into the habits and roles that friends fulfill. Don't sit around and listen to the girl's problems.
Focus on her emotions, make her FEEL what you want her to feel. Don't be the "friend," be the guy who's "exciting" and "mysterious."
Demonstrate with your body language and flirting that you're not interested in just "being friends," and chances are, you'll get to be something more.
2012年10月8日星期一
Ways To End Relationships: How To Break Up With Someone Painlessly
Breaking up is like swallowing a bitter pill. You know it’s not going to be any good but you still have to do it to get better anyway. Nobody likes to be the one to break the bad news; but luckily, people are starting to learn the proper ways to end relationships - ways that will make the whole ordeal less painful.
Over time, people have learned the best ways to end relationships. A lot of it has to do with common sense; but since this is quite an emotional time for the couples involved, common sense does not exactly have a place here. The tips below are intended to set you free while minimizing the emotional hurt that might result.
Ways To End Relationships # 1: No Guilt Tripping
One of the worst ways to break up is by guilt tripping the other person. Even though the other person does have to shoulder the blame, pointing your fingers at him or her will only prolong the break up process.
Your partner will naturally try to make up for his or her “faults” and you might even end up giving the relationship another go. And isn’t that just totally opposite of your goal?
Ways To End Relationships # 2: No Gift Swapping
Don’t give goodbye presents. Don’t accept any either. Once you accept a present from the person you broke up with, it means that there’s still a chance for the two of you to patch things up. That’s not what you really need at this point, right?
Ways To End Relationships # 3: No Words Left Unsaid
Don’t reserve your words for another meeting. Say what you need to say when you have the chance to say it. Not taking this opportunity would only make you feel restless and dissatisfied with the whole break up process. Besides, you won’t get another shot at admitting your emotions. It’s time for a clean break up. End everything now.
Remember these ways to end relationships and you’ll soon be on your way to recovery. Don’t forget to try to make things as simple and as clear as possible. Don’t be swayed by presents or tears either.
Over time, people have learned the best ways to end relationships. A lot of it has to do with common sense; but since this is quite an emotional time for the couples involved, common sense does not exactly have a place here. The tips below are intended to set you free while minimizing the emotional hurt that might result.
Ways To End Relationships # 1: No Guilt Tripping
One of the worst ways to break up is by guilt tripping the other person. Even though the other person does have to shoulder the blame, pointing your fingers at him or her will only prolong the break up process.
Your partner will naturally try to make up for his or her “faults” and you might even end up giving the relationship another go. And isn’t that just totally opposite of your goal?
Ways To End Relationships # 2: No Gift Swapping
Don’t give goodbye presents. Don’t accept any either. Once you accept a present from the person you broke up with, it means that there’s still a chance for the two of you to patch things up. That’s not what you really need at this point, right?
Ways To End Relationships # 3: No Words Left Unsaid
Don’t reserve your words for another meeting. Say what you need to say when you have the chance to say it. Not taking this opportunity would only make you feel restless and dissatisfied with the whole break up process. Besides, you won’t get another shot at admitting your emotions. It’s time for a clean break up. End everything now.
Remember these ways to end relationships and you’ll soon be on your way to recovery. Don’t forget to try to make things as simple and as clear as possible. Don’t be swayed by presents or tears either.
OnLine Romance: Executive Dating Tips
When looking to date someone in a professional position, you should know that most executives are leery of joining traditional on line dating sites. You likely will not find many eligible executives listed on those sites. However, there are dating sites that actually cater to executives that you can join and develop a relationship.
You may also be surprised to learn that many executives are not really looking to date another executive. Many are primarily looking for someone to go to dinner with, maybe a take in a show or have a night out on the town just for some fun and relaxation. Being an executive can be very stressful and a date with someone who is not a fellow executive is preferable because it eliminates "shop talk" and focuses on just having fun.
That said, it does help your chances of getting a date if you are a professional person who can match up as far as education and intellect. You should not be in the same profession, however, just to keep it interesting for both of you. For example, a Wall Street type might fit well with a professional concert musician or photographer.
Executive online dating sites operate much the same as mainstream online dating sites. You will be required to create a personal profile. You should keep your profile accurate and honest. Honestly share your likes, dislikes, education, and so forth so a potential date can decide whether to pursue you further. Post your best head shot and perhaps some snapshots or video of you having fun doing your favorite things.
Executive online dating sites, like traditional sites, allow members to view the profiles of potential partners easily. This allows you to search for a particular type of professional you hope will be your perfect date. You can search the database using a wide range of criteria to narrow the field.
Of course, it is not unusual for some executives to be seeking a marriage partner. Executive dating sites are an easy way to narrow the selection of potential mates. If getting married is your goal, you may want to state that fact in your profile. Don't hide the fact. It will eliminate prospects who are only interested in a platonic relationship.
Another aspect of executive online dating sites, that is quite popular, is the ability to meet other executives with similar business interests or hobbies. This can lead to joint business ventures or just simple friendships which can broaden experiences and knowledge of shared hobbies. Using an executive dating site does not have to be only about dating or marriage.
As with all online dating services, caution is strongly advised, especially if you are seeking to date an executive with a highly visible position in their company. Most executives are careful whom they choose to date to be sure they will not jeapordize their company or put themselves in a compromising position. This is another reason to choose someone who is not in your profession. It eliminates conflicts and doubt. Executives are aware that it is not unusual for competitors to troll executive dating sites looking for an advantage.
While executive dating sites were established to cater primarily to the time and schedule constraints of busy executives, executives are not 100% immune to persons who might try and exploit them financially. This is why it is a good idea to use mainly executive online dating sites with an established reputation rather than newer sites. Of course, if you find a site that has good testimonials from other members, sign up and check it out to see if it fits.
When evaluating which site to join, review the number of executive listings. Look over some member profiles, if they allow it. The more executives listed, the better chance you will have of finding someone in their database that matches you.
Another way to check out potential executive dating sites is to simply do an Internet search for "reviews". Use the name of the site and the word "reviews". You will likely find comments from folks who either like or dislike the particular site and their reasons. You may also find reviews by people who are experts at evaluating such sites. However, make sure the reviews are not pushing a particular site. The review writer may be getting a commission if you sign up through their review.
How much are membership fees?
Well, the best executive dating sites do charge a membership fee and will require that you fill out an application form of some kind, perhaps, even require that you answer survey questions to be sure your motives are honorable. That said, you will find the cost very reasonable for the value they provide.
Some sites have various plans from which to choose and they are priced accordingly. To get a feel for the whole on line dating process, look for free on line dating sites and those that offer a free trial period before you actually commit to a membership fee.
Many people have found companionship, love, and marriage through online executive dating sites. So, go ahead and give it a chance. You just might become one of the success stories.
You may also be surprised to learn that many executives are not really looking to date another executive. Many are primarily looking for someone to go to dinner with, maybe a take in a show or have a night out on the town just for some fun and relaxation. Being an executive can be very stressful and a date with someone who is not a fellow executive is preferable because it eliminates "shop talk" and focuses on just having fun.
That said, it does help your chances of getting a date if you are a professional person who can match up as far as education and intellect. You should not be in the same profession, however, just to keep it interesting for both of you. For example, a Wall Street type might fit well with a professional concert musician or photographer.
Executive online dating sites operate much the same as mainstream online dating sites. You will be required to create a personal profile. You should keep your profile accurate and honest. Honestly share your likes, dislikes, education, and so forth so a potential date can decide whether to pursue you further. Post your best head shot and perhaps some snapshots or video of you having fun doing your favorite things.
Executive online dating sites, like traditional sites, allow members to view the profiles of potential partners easily. This allows you to search for a particular type of professional you hope will be your perfect date. You can search the database using a wide range of criteria to narrow the field.
Of course, it is not unusual for some executives to be seeking a marriage partner. Executive dating sites are an easy way to narrow the selection of potential mates. If getting married is your goal, you may want to state that fact in your profile. Don't hide the fact. It will eliminate prospects who are only interested in a platonic relationship.
Another aspect of executive online dating sites, that is quite popular, is the ability to meet other executives with similar business interests or hobbies. This can lead to joint business ventures or just simple friendships which can broaden experiences and knowledge of shared hobbies. Using an executive dating site does not have to be only about dating or marriage.
As with all online dating services, caution is strongly advised, especially if you are seeking to date an executive with a highly visible position in their company. Most executives are careful whom they choose to date to be sure they will not jeapordize their company or put themselves in a compromising position. This is another reason to choose someone who is not in your profession. It eliminates conflicts and doubt. Executives are aware that it is not unusual for competitors to troll executive dating sites looking for an advantage.
While executive dating sites were established to cater primarily to the time and schedule constraints of busy executives, executives are not 100% immune to persons who might try and exploit them financially. This is why it is a good idea to use mainly executive online dating sites with an established reputation rather than newer sites. Of course, if you find a site that has good testimonials from other members, sign up and check it out to see if it fits.
When evaluating which site to join, review the number of executive listings. Look over some member profiles, if they allow it. The more executives listed, the better chance you will have of finding someone in their database that matches you.
Another way to check out potential executive dating sites is to simply do an Internet search for "reviews". Use the name of the site and the word "reviews". You will likely find comments from folks who either like or dislike the particular site and their reasons. You may also find reviews by people who are experts at evaluating such sites. However, make sure the reviews are not pushing a particular site. The review writer may be getting a commission if you sign up through their review.
How much are membership fees?
Well, the best executive dating sites do charge a membership fee and will require that you fill out an application form of some kind, perhaps, even require that you answer survey questions to be sure your motives are honorable. That said, you will find the cost very reasonable for the value they provide.
Some sites have various plans from which to choose and they are priced accordingly. To get a feel for the whole on line dating process, look for free on line dating sites and those that offer a free trial period before you actually commit to a membership fee.
Many people have found companionship, love, and marriage through online executive dating sites. So, go ahead and give it a chance. You just might become one of the success stories.
2012年10月7日星期日
5 Tips That Can Help You Get Past a Breakup
Have you ever heard someone say that they could survive a breakup with someone that they had been with for a bit of time? Don't believe it. Even the strong falter when they go through a breakup. A breakup has a tremendous impact on a person's life. However, if dealt with in the appropriate manner, the person can get past their breakup and get their happiness back and quite possibly their ex too. How? By following these 5 simple tips listed below.
Tip 1 - Deal with Depression
When you are dealing with the aftermath of a breakup, it can be difficult to face people. You almost certainly want to be alone. Don't. It is important that you get together with folks that love and care about you. Seek out these people who don't mind lending you an ear in case you need to talk. By being with them, you can heal your broken heart. If people, including your ex, see you moving past the breakup, you get credit and respect for being able to deal with it.
Tip 2 - Don't Turn to Downers/Uppers
Some people who go through a breakup may turn to drugs or alcohol to help them deal with the feelings. Bad move. Never touch alcohol or drugs during the breakup period. If you are upset and drinking, it's only going to get worse not better. In fact, drinking and doing drugs can lead to other destructive behavior that can keep you from wining back your ex.
Tip 3 - Remain Vigil to the No Contact Rule
Never believe that a breakup is easy when you see your ex every day. In fact, it's the worst thing you could do for yourself especially if your goal is to win them back. Make a clean break and give yourself and your ex some space. Remember absence does make the heart grow fonder so it's important that you keep to the rule. You can also sort your feelings out and deal with the problems that plagued the relationship on your end.
Tip 4 - Make a Plan
It's very important that a plan is well thought out before you attempt to win back your ex. When you are planning it out, you have less time and reasons to make mistakes. Stability is a necessity when you are trying to win back your ex so keep this in mind as you make your plan. You don't want to do anything that messes up your chances.
Tip 5 - Prepare Yourself
All the preparation of winning your ex back can be in vain. You may love your ex and she/he you but sometimes love just isn't enough. Face the reality that the relationship just isn't meant to be. Once you do this, you can get past a breakup and move on with your life and find someone who is meant for you.
By utilizing these five steps, you can come out a winner with the breakup. You can even win a chance to get back together with your ex and not make stupid little mistakes that can hinder any progress you have made in winning them back.
Tip 1 - Deal with Depression
When you are dealing with the aftermath of a breakup, it can be difficult to face people. You almost certainly want to be alone. Don't. It is important that you get together with folks that love and care about you. Seek out these people who don't mind lending you an ear in case you need to talk. By being with them, you can heal your broken heart. If people, including your ex, see you moving past the breakup, you get credit and respect for being able to deal with it.
Tip 2 - Don't Turn to Downers/Uppers
Some people who go through a breakup may turn to drugs or alcohol to help them deal with the feelings. Bad move. Never touch alcohol or drugs during the breakup period. If you are upset and drinking, it's only going to get worse not better. In fact, drinking and doing drugs can lead to other destructive behavior that can keep you from wining back your ex.
Tip 3 - Remain Vigil to the No Contact Rule
Never believe that a breakup is easy when you see your ex every day. In fact, it's the worst thing you could do for yourself especially if your goal is to win them back. Make a clean break and give yourself and your ex some space. Remember absence does make the heart grow fonder so it's important that you keep to the rule. You can also sort your feelings out and deal with the problems that plagued the relationship on your end.
Tip 4 - Make a Plan
It's very important that a plan is well thought out before you attempt to win back your ex. When you are planning it out, you have less time and reasons to make mistakes. Stability is a necessity when you are trying to win back your ex so keep this in mind as you make your plan. You don't want to do anything that messes up your chances.
Tip 5 - Prepare Yourself
All the preparation of winning your ex back can be in vain. You may love your ex and she/he you but sometimes love just isn't enough. Face the reality that the relationship just isn't meant to be. Once you do this, you can get past a breakup and move on with your life and find someone who is meant for you.
By utilizing these five steps, you can come out a winner with the breakup. You can even win a chance to get back together with your ex and not make stupid little mistakes that can hinder any progress you have made in winning them back.
How A Woman Enjoys Being Kissed
Nothing beats good kissing when it comes to keeping a woman's attraction towards you intact.
Many men don't pay attention to their technique or just don't care about their performance when it comes to kissing. And often, they are left without a return phone call.
This is because women will often judge a man's potential based on how good of a kisser he his!
The first kiss with a girl is very important for that reason. So it's important to make a positive impression with a good and memorable kiss.
So how does a guy make the first kiss one to remember?
I'm going to share a little secret with you.
It's a secret that I talk about all the time, but very few men really know about.
The secret is ANTICIPATION.
Anticipation is an incredibly important concept when it comes to ramping up your relationship with a woman.
Now, I believe that it's important to incorporate it into every part of your interactions with a woman - but this is especially true when it comes to the art of kissing.
If you really don't know how to kiss a woman, then I have a recommendation:
START SLOW, THEN KISS HER LIKE SHE KISSES YOU.
Here's how to mix this strategy with that of Anticipation...
Let's say that you decide it's time to kiss her. Just as you start to kiss her, when you first feel your lips touching hers - stop right there!
Move your lips across hers, back and forth, brushing a bit, then pull back.
At this point - smile at her!
Okay, at this point you'll probably be sitting there thinking, "Why the heck didn't I just kiss her?" But bear with me here...
She'll probably be sitting there tingling all over, and feeling like she wants you to continue!
Then, play it cool and lean back. Talk with her a little more.
A few minutes later, touch her hair. Lean over to kiss her again. This time, go VERY slowly, gently press your lips against hers. Hold them there for a moment, and feel how she responds.
If she kisses you the same way, then just stop, lean back, and relax again for a few minutes.
The next time you kiss her, open your mouth just a little bit, and see if she does the same.
Do this a couple of times.
Odds are, she'll eventually start escalating things herself. The anticipation will start to effect her.
When this happens, stop her. Push her back. Just smile.
MORE ANTICIPATION.
Just keep mirroring how she's kissing you as things get more and more intense. This is a great way to "learn" how to kiss, and she'll enjoy it, because you'll be doing exactly what she likes!
Many men don't pay attention to their technique or just don't care about their performance when it comes to kissing. And often, they are left without a return phone call.
This is because women will often judge a man's potential based on how good of a kisser he his!
The first kiss with a girl is very important for that reason. So it's important to make a positive impression with a good and memorable kiss.
So how does a guy make the first kiss one to remember?
I'm going to share a little secret with you.
It's a secret that I talk about all the time, but very few men really know about.
The secret is ANTICIPATION.
Anticipation is an incredibly important concept when it comes to ramping up your relationship with a woman.
Now, I believe that it's important to incorporate it into every part of your interactions with a woman - but this is especially true when it comes to the art of kissing.
If you really don't know how to kiss a woman, then I have a recommendation:
START SLOW, THEN KISS HER LIKE SHE KISSES YOU.
Here's how to mix this strategy with that of Anticipation...
Let's say that you decide it's time to kiss her. Just as you start to kiss her, when you first feel your lips touching hers - stop right there!
Move your lips across hers, back and forth, brushing a bit, then pull back.
At this point - smile at her!
Okay, at this point you'll probably be sitting there thinking, "Why the heck didn't I just kiss her?" But bear with me here...
She'll probably be sitting there tingling all over, and feeling like she wants you to continue!
Then, play it cool and lean back. Talk with her a little more.
A few minutes later, touch her hair. Lean over to kiss her again. This time, go VERY slowly, gently press your lips against hers. Hold them there for a moment, and feel how she responds.
If she kisses you the same way, then just stop, lean back, and relax again for a few minutes.
The next time you kiss her, open your mouth just a little bit, and see if she does the same.
Do this a couple of times.
Odds are, she'll eventually start escalating things herself. The anticipation will start to effect her.
When this happens, stop her. Push her back. Just smile.
MORE ANTICIPATION.
Just keep mirroring how she's kissing you as things get more and more intense. This is a great way to "learn" how to kiss, and she'll enjoy it, because you'll be doing exactly what she likes!
Talking Dirty To Your Guy - Why He Loves It!
Why is dirty talking so popular these days? Our modern culture has led to the flourishing of a new kind of openness in the bedroom. Gone are the days when sex was a furtive act and a desire for adventure something you voiced at great peril.
Couples today are more relaxed and only too happy to discover new pathways in their love-lives with each other. They are well informed and aware of who they are and what they want. And they are definitely interested in exploring all the options that are available to further their desires and enhance their pleasures in each other.
Should You Panic?
But even the modern woman with all her freedom, might be tempted to hit the panic button when her boyfriend expresses a desire to get her talking dirty.
You might freeze up in nervousness. You might wonder how you could ever carry off a thing like that… But is dirty talking such a big deal?
Relax! Once you understand why your guy loves dirty talking, you’ll find it the simplest thing to do.
The Secret about Why He Loves Dirty Talk
When it comes to talking dirty, you just need to one little secret about your man to put yourself totally at ease!
If you have been with him long enough, you probably already know this secret! It is just that you haven’t recognized it as the fundamental truth that makes dirty talking so attractive to him.
So what is the big secret that makes dirty talking such a big hit with men? Simple! Man is a very basic animal when it comes to sex!
Men don’t really need all the romance and finesse that women need, to get turned on. Ask any man and he would fervently swear “Pass the raw, basic stuff; and dish it out in plenty!”
What Does He Consider Dirty?
When you get to talking to turn your guy on, forget the wishy-washy stuff of old romance novels. There is no point in whispering things that just might make him start snoring.
When he wants you to dirty talk, he wants you to break the mould! He wants to see your wild side. He wants the thrill of knowing he can loosen up your strings in front of him. Knowing that he can conquer your inhibitions and liberate your desires can be a powerful aphrodisiac.
So now you know what you should do. Or rather, what you should say. Go basic. Appeal to his barest, most carnal urges when you talk and make him feel like a King!
Stimulate his ears. Stir up his imagination. Let him anticipate every word you promise to make him feel. Invite him with your words and let him in turn, invite you to the feast. He will reward you with his undivided attention. You will have your captivated man so entranced with your dirty talk, he will never think of looking anywhere else to satisfy his basest desires.
Couples today are more relaxed and only too happy to discover new pathways in their love-lives with each other. They are well informed and aware of who they are and what they want. And they are definitely interested in exploring all the options that are available to further their desires and enhance their pleasures in each other.
Should You Panic?
But even the modern woman with all her freedom, might be tempted to hit the panic button when her boyfriend expresses a desire to get her talking dirty.
You might freeze up in nervousness. You might wonder how you could ever carry off a thing like that… But is dirty talking such a big deal?
Relax! Once you understand why your guy loves dirty talking, you’ll find it the simplest thing to do.
The Secret about Why He Loves Dirty Talk
When it comes to talking dirty, you just need to one little secret about your man to put yourself totally at ease!
If you have been with him long enough, you probably already know this secret! It is just that you haven’t recognized it as the fundamental truth that makes dirty talking so attractive to him.
So what is the big secret that makes dirty talking such a big hit with men? Simple! Man is a very basic animal when it comes to sex!
Men don’t really need all the romance and finesse that women need, to get turned on. Ask any man and he would fervently swear “Pass the raw, basic stuff; and dish it out in plenty!”
What Does He Consider Dirty?
When you get to talking to turn your guy on, forget the wishy-washy stuff of old romance novels. There is no point in whispering things that just might make him start snoring.
When he wants you to dirty talk, he wants you to break the mould! He wants to see your wild side. He wants the thrill of knowing he can loosen up your strings in front of him. Knowing that he can conquer your inhibitions and liberate your desires can be a powerful aphrodisiac.
So now you know what you should do. Or rather, what you should say. Go basic. Appeal to his barest, most carnal urges when you talk and make him feel like a King!
Stimulate his ears. Stir up his imagination. Let him anticipate every word you promise to make him feel. Invite him with your words and let him in turn, invite you to the feast. He will reward you with his undivided attention. You will have your captivated man so entranced with your dirty talk, he will never think of looking anywhere else to satisfy his basest desires.
The Art Of Kino - How To Touch A Woman
A crucial skill in any social interaction is knowing the proper way to touch - or kino - a woman as a part of the act of seduction.
We all want to be touched from the moment we emerge from the womb. When a baby comes into the world, the only thing that quiets him is when he is handed over to his mother and he gets his first taste of being held.
What are your attitudes and boundaries in regards to kino? How much physical contact do you get from the people who are close to you? To really understand kino and what it means to others, you must know what it means to you.
All too often, men feel uncomfortable touching others. There's some taboo associated with being "too physical" with other people, and many guys are hesitant to do so.
But learning to be more comfortable with physical interaction is key to succeeding, because it is through this interaction that we are able to kindle the notion of intimacy between two people.
Start to pay attention to how you touch people you're comfortable with - your friends and family. Grab someone's arm gently when you want to make an important statement. If someone is sad, or tired, or stressed, rub their upper back in light circles and give their shoulder a squeeze.
Deep down, everyone is starving for real human contact, and you will rarely - if ever - have someone ask you to stop touching them as long as you have built up a certain level of rapport and comfort with them.
Once you get comfortable with your tactile communication, you will want to start initiating touching with the women you are attracted to.
When meeting a girl for the first time, start up the kino as soon as possible. Make a few jokes, charm her with your irresistible wit, and touch her upper arm gently.
Most of all: PAY ATTENTION to how she responds!
If you are getting green lights - like her smiling, touching you back, playing with her hair, tilting her head - then escalate the kino SLOWLY by removing your hand, waiting for another high point in the conversation and then touch her at the waist.
If you are getting red lights - like she gives the "what do you think you're doing?" look, backs away, or breaks eye contact - then back off and take it easy for a while. Even if her backing off upsets you, don't let her know it! Be cool, and show her that you aren't trying to move too fast.
Go from light touches on the hands and wrists, to holding hands. Put your hand on her knee when she's sitting next to you. High-five her when she says something fun or interesting. Give her a hug. Brush her hair out of her face with your hand. Rub her shoulders.
The more you touch, the stronger your bond with the woman will become.
Remember - you don't have to be "Mr. Smooth" to make this work. Escalating kino is a process. It's about gradual escalation towards being intimate with a woman, so don't be afraid to trip up or take a chance every once in a while.
Of all the tools a man has at his disposal, kino is by far one of the most powerful. Just remember, all you need to do is slowly ease from light touching, to heavy kino to escalate the intimacy.
Turn hugs into cuddles, cuddles into kisses, etc.
It is amazing how much more you can communicate with just one touch, than you can in hours of talking. And before you know it, you'll begin to see her emotions towards you change, all because you knew how to touch her the right way!
We all want to be touched from the moment we emerge from the womb. When a baby comes into the world, the only thing that quiets him is when he is handed over to his mother and he gets his first taste of being held.
What are your attitudes and boundaries in regards to kino? How much physical contact do you get from the people who are close to you? To really understand kino and what it means to others, you must know what it means to you.
All too often, men feel uncomfortable touching others. There's some taboo associated with being "too physical" with other people, and many guys are hesitant to do so.
But learning to be more comfortable with physical interaction is key to succeeding, because it is through this interaction that we are able to kindle the notion of intimacy between two people.
Start to pay attention to how you touch people you're comfortable with - your friends and family. Grab someone's arm gently when you want to make an important statement. If someone is sad, or tired, or stressed, rub their upper back in light circles and give their shoulder a squeeze.
Deep down, everyone is starving for real human contact, and you will rarely - if ever - have someone ask you to stop touching them as long as you have built up a certain level of rapport and comfort with them.
Once you get comfortable with your tactile communication, you will want to start initiating touching with the women you are attracted to.
When meeting a girl for the first time, start up the kino as soon as possible. Make a few jokes, charm her with your irresistible wit, and touch her upper arm gently.
Most of all: PAY ATTENTION to how she responds!
If you are getting green lights - like her smiling, touching you back, playing with her hair, tilting her head - then escalate the kino SLOWLY by removing your hand, waiting for another high point in the conversation and then touch her at the waist.
If you are getting red lights - like she gives the "what do you think you're doing?" look, backs away, or breaks eye contact - then back off and take it easy for a while. Even if her backing off upsets you, don't let her know it! Be cool, and show her that you aren't trying to move too fast.
Go from light touches on the hands and wrists, to holding hands. Put your hand on her knee when she's sitting next to you. High-five her when she says something fun or interesting. Give her a hug. Brush her hair out of her face with your hand. Rub her shoulders.
The more you touch, the stronger your bond with the woman will become.
Remember - you don't have to be "Mr. Smooth" to make this work. Escalating kino is a process. It's about gradual escalation towards being intimate with a woman, so don't be afraid to trip up or take a chance every once in a while.
Of all the tools a man has at his disposal, kino is by far one of the most powerful. Just remember, all you need to do is slowly ease from light touching, to heavy kino to escalate the intimacy.
Turn hugs into cuddles, cuddles into kisses, etc.
It is amazing how much more you can communicate with just one touch, than you can in hours of talking. And before you know it, you'll begin to see her emotions towards you change, all because you knew how to touch her the right way!
2012年10月6日星期六
What to Say When You Propose Marriage: 5 Romantic Things To Say On Your Marriage Proposal
You have the ring in one hand and you’re down on bended knee. But do you know what to say when you propose marriage? “Will you marry me” just seems so abrupt.
Everyone has their own way of proposing marriage. Unfortunately, a lot of people seem to think that you only have to pop the question. But if you really want to make the moment count, you have to know what to say when you propose marriage.
1) Who is she to you?
One of the things to say when you propose marriage is what that person means to you. She’s not just your girlfriend. You’ll have to tell her the qualities that endeared her to you. What does she bring to your life?
2) Who are you when you’re with her?
What kind of person have you become since you two got together? Every woman wants to know that she has had some influence in her man’s life. Just make sure to enumerate only the positive influences.
3) What’s in store for the future?
One of the important things to say when you propose marriage is your plan for the future. You don’t have to give her all the details, but it would be wonderful if you can say something about it.
While not absolutely necessary in a proposal, it does give the girl the impression that you’ve thought long and hard about this plan.
4) What do you promise her?
Don’t just recite the wedding vows. You have to promise from the heart. Do you promise to let her have monopoly of the remote control except during basketball season? You can be as funny as you want to make the whole situation lighter.
5) Tell her you love her and will love her more everyday.
But most importantly, you have to promise her that you will love her forever. It’s what marriage is all about. You know there’ll be tough times but together, you’ll make it through.
It’s important to know what to say when you propose marriage. You don’t need to have a script in hand, but it would be better if you tried to organize your thoughts before acting upon your feelings.
Everyone has their own way of proposing marriage. Unfortunately, a lot of people seem to think that you only have to pop the question. But if you really want to make the moment count, you have to know what to say when you propose marriage.
1) Who is she to you?
One of the things to say when you propose marriage is what that person means to you. She’s not just your girlfriend. You’ll have to tell her the qualities that endeared her to you. What does she bring to your life?
2) Who are you when you’re with her?
What kind of person have you become since you two got together? Every woman wants to know that she has had some influence in her man’s life. Just make sure to enumerate only the positive influences.
3) What’s in store for the future?
One of the important things to say when you propose marriage is your plan for the future. You don’t have to give her all the details, but it would be wonderful if you can say something about it.
While not absolutely necessary in a proposal, it does give the girl the impression that you’ve thought long and hard about this plan.
4) What do you promise her?
Don’t just recite the wedding vows. You have to promise from the heart. Do you promise to let her have monopoly of the remote control except during basketball season? You can be as funny as you want to make the whole situation lighter.
5) Tell her you love her and will love her more everyday.
But most importantly, you have to promise her that you will love her forever. It’s what marriage is all about. You know there’ll be tough times but together, you’ll make it through.
It’s important to know what to say when you propose marriage. You don’t need to have a script in hand, but it would be better if you tried to organize your thoughts before acting upon your feelings.
Finding A Date In A Coffee Shop
Stopping at a coffee shop has become a staple of human behavior, almost as much as going to a grocery store has. Understandably - these place are everywhere and people have developed an understanding of the different coffee drinks, thanks to a cultural shift over the past 15 or so years. We now appreciate good coffee and it's no wonder these places are so crowded. So I'm guessing you spend at least a small portion of the day at a coffee shop. And you also probably wonder if it's a good place to meet women. The answer is yes! It is! And you can also, with some practice, to meet them outside of the coffee shop after the initial meeting. Here are some tips on how to do that.
#1. If she is having trouble deciding what to order from the menu and turns to apologize, always be gracious. She is probably feeling very embarrassed. If she is truly sorry you can offer to help her decide what to order. Sentences like "I come here all the time, what were you thinking of ordering? I can tell you if it's good or not," are good openers. This can work in the opposite situation. If you can't make up your mind, you can ask the woman behind you what kind of coffee drinks she likes and then you have the bonus option of buying her coffee "to make up for taking so long to decide."
#2. If she is alone and reading or writing in a journal, approach with caution. People like to do these things without being interrupted, even if they are in the middle of a busy and noisy coffee shop. This rule can be voided if there aren't any empty tables to claim for yourself. If she looks up from her book a lot, a good way to meet her is to ask what she is reading and what she thinks of it. Be honest when she asks if you have read it or have read other books like it. Lying about what you read will come back and bite you later.
#3. When you are standing next to a woman at the sugar stand, you can ask her to pass you something-you can easily play it off as being polite-you didn't want to get in her way. Politeness goes a long way with women. The same is true for if she is reaching for something closer to your side of the stand. Grab it for her with a simple "here you go." And the conversation can go from there.
#4. If you are feeling bold, you can always sit down next to her table and if she is having a conversation with someone, you can interject your own opinion and then join in the conversation. This is something with which you should be cautious. Not all groups of people are going to want to open up their conversation to the person at the next table, and if she is with a group of women, you need to be extra careful.
#5. If you are walking toward the trash can or the bussing station with your coffee cup, walk past her table and offer to take her empty coffee cup up with yours. Then, when you go back by her table, you can pause for a chat.
#6. If you set your eyes on a barista who works at the coffee shop, always make sure to compliment her on the coffee, even if she only poured it from a carafe. Believe me, this, and a quick thank you, will take you far. And if you are shy, you can make a note of going in while she's working. Eventually she'll be comfortable enough with you to hold conversations. Tread with caution; it's easy to come across as a creepy stalker if you aren't smooth about things.
Coffee shops can be intimidating, but they can also be a gold mine of opportunity if you are creative and brave. It's possible to meet women there and can be quite enjoyable. Just be willing to initiate the conversation, and put in some practice. Eventually you'll get it down.
#1. If she is having trouble deciding what to order from the menu and turns to apologize, always be gracious. She is probably feeling very embarrassed. If she is truly sorry you can offer to help her decide what to order. Sentences like "I come here all the time, what were you thinking of ordering? I can tell you if it's good or not," are good openers. This can work in the opposite situation. If you can't make up your mind, you can ask the woman behind you what kind of coffee drinks she likes and then you have the bonus option of buying her coffee "to make up for taking so long to decide."
#2. If she is alone and reading or writing in a journal, approach with caution. People like to do these things without being interrupted, even if they are in the middle of a busy and noisy coffee shop. This rule can be voided if there aren't any empty tables to claim for yourself. If she looks up from her book a lot, a good way to meet her is to ask what she is reading and what she thinks of it. Be honest when she asks if you have read it or have read other books like it. Lying about what you read will come back and bite you later.
#3. When you are standing next to a woman at the sugar stand, you can ask her to pass you something-you can easily play it off as being polite-you didn't want to get in her way. Politeness goes a long way with women. The same is true for if she is reaching for something closer to your side of the stand. Grab it for her with a simple "here you go." And the conversation can go from there.
#4. If you are feeling bold, you can always sit down next to her table and if she is having a conversation with someone, you can interject your own opinion and then join in the conversation. This is something with which you should be cautious. Not all groups of people are going to want to open up their conversation to the person at the next table, and if she is with a group of women, you need to be extra careful.
#5. If you are walking toward the trash can or the bussing station with your coffee cup, walk past her table and offer to take her empty coffee cup up with yours. Then, when you go back by her table, you can pause for a chat.
#6. If you set your eyes on a barista who works at the coffee shop, always make sure to compliment her on the coffee, even if she only poured it from a carafe. Believe me, this, and a quick thank you, will take you far. And if you are shy, you can make a note of going in while she's working. Eventually she'll be comfortable enough with you to hold conversations. Tread with caution; it's easy to come across as a creepy stalker if you aren't smooth about things.
Coffee shops can be intimidating, but they can also be a gold mine of opportunity if you are creative and brave. It's possible to meet women there and can be quite enjoyable. Just be willing to initiate the conversation, and put in some practice. Eventually you'll get it down.
Why There Is No Such Thing As "The Right Time" To Meet Women
One of the biggest mistakes I see men make when it comes to meeting a girl is "waiting for the right time."
They see a girl they like, they know they want to approach her, but for some reason, the circumstances just aren't ideal.
He then does one thing that hurts him far worse than any circumstance.
HE WAITS.
And he keeps waiting until the right time comes, or he misses his opportunity all together. And guess what? More often than not - the right time NEVER comes!
Past experience has taught me that this concept of a "right time" is one of the biggest fantasies you can harbor.
It is one of the biggest roadblocks to finding the girl of your dreams, to boot.
BIG TIME.
What you're really doing is just giving yourself an excuse not to approach the girl you want to meet. You allow yourself the opportunity to give into your nerves and fears, and ultimately end up blowing your shot.
So the moral of this story is - there is NEVER a right time to meet a girl.
Understand, you have to seize opportunities as they present themselves, even if the situation isn't ideal.
The only thing that ever gets results is taking action. Walking up to a girl and talking to her is guaranteed to get you a result. Standing around waiting for the perfect time will not.
Try not to give into your fears and insecurities. Instead, try not to think at all! As soon as you see a girl you like, walk up to her and start talking.
Your fears might mount up. That doesn't matter - just walk up to her, say hello, and introduce yourself. The key is to not let a great opportunity slip away from you.
Even if things don't turn out the way you hoped, that is preferable to letting the opportunity pass you by and never knowing what could have been.
They see a girl they like, they know they want to approach her, but for some reason, the circumstances just aren't ideal.
He then does one thing that hurts him far worse than any circumstance.
HE WAITS.
And he keeps waiting until the right time comes, or he misses his opportunity all together. And guess what? More often than not - the right time NEVER comes!
Past experience has taught me that this concept of a "right time" is one of the biggest fantasies you can harbor.
It is one of the biggest roadblocks to finding the girl of your dreams, to boot.
BIG TIME.
What you're really doing is just giving yourself an excuse not to approach the girl you want to meet. You allow yourself the opportunity to give into your nerves and fears, and ultimately end up blowing your shot.
So the moral of this story is - there is NEVER a right time to meet a girl.
Understand, you have to seize opportunities as they present themselves, even if the situation isn't ideal.
The only thing that ever gets results is taking action. Walking up to a girl and talking to her is guaranteed to get you a result. Standing around waiting for the perfect time will not.
Try not to give into your fears and insecurities. Instead, try not to think at all! As soon as you see a girl you like, walk up to her and start talking.
Your fears might mount up. That doesn't matter - just walk up to her, say hello, and introduce yourself. The key is to not let a great opportunity slip away from you.
Even if things don't turn out the way you hoped, that is preferable to letting the opportunity pass you by and never knowing what could have been.
Signs He Does Not Like You in a Romantic Way
As much as you might want to marry the guy of your dreams, have a lovely house and family with him, you have to make sure he likes you first. And figuring this out is easier when you know the signs he does not like you.
These signs are easier to spot because you’re not exactly conjuring up these signals on your own. You’re also more likely to remain grounded with your thoughts and realistic with your observations.
Here are some of the signs he does not like you in a romantic way:
1) He treats you like one of the guys.
Most guys treat a girl according to what they think of her. If you’re someone he likes, he’ll treat you to drinks and offer to help you with your errands. However, if he treats you like a buddy, he most definitely does not like you in a romantic way.
If he invites you to spend time with his male friends… if he confides in you his failed and successful exploits… if he doesn’t compliment you on anything girly, face it. This is one of the clear signs he does not like you that way. The fact that you’re actually a girl might not have even registered in his mind yet!
2) He talks to you in a regular manner.
By regular manner, I mean with his usual, casual voice. Guys tend to reserve their softer or manlier voices for the girls they like. If he talks to you with his usual nonchalant tone, he just sees you as a friend or an acquaintance.
This also extends to how the guy acts after talking with you. If he simply says good-bye without so much as a backward glance of hesitation, this is one of the signs he does not like you in a romantic way.
3. He doesn’t do anything special for you.
Guys like doing something nice for the girls they like. So if you two have been friends for a long time and he doesn’t do anything special for you, it’s probably not going to work out.
Special does not include talking to you on the phone about his favorite baseball team. It also doesn’t include asking you to help him pick out what to wear.
Creating a checklist of signs he does not like you in a romantic way can be a little painful. You might even feel a little resentment when you realize just how little of your feelings are reciprocated.
However, once you cool down, you’ll also realize that he’s actually sharing more of himself with you than with the girl he’s infatuated with. If you work on the situation diligently and smartly enough, I’m sure you’ll find a way to get your guy to re-adjust his impression of you.
These signs are easier to spot because you’re not exactly conjuring up these signals on your own. You’re also more likely to remain grounded with your thoughts and realistic with your observations.
Here are some of the signs he does not like you in a romantic way:
1) He treats you like one of the guys.
Most guys treat a girl according to what they think of her. If you’re someone he likes, he’ll treat you to drinks and offer to help you with your errands. However, if he treats you like a buddy, he most definitely does not like you in a romantic way.
If he invites you to spend time with his male friends… if he confides in you his failed and successful exploits… if he doesn’t compliment you on anything girly, face it. This is one of the clear signs he does not like you that way. The fact that you’re actually a girl might not have even registered in his mind yet!
2) He talks to you in a regular manner.
By regular manner, I mean with his usual, casual voice. Guys tend to reserve their softer or manlier voices for the girls they like. If he talks to you with his usual nonchalant tone, he just sees you as a friend or an acquaintance.
This also extends to how the guy acts after talking with you. If he simply says good-bye without so much as a backward glance of hesitation, this is one of the signs he does not like you in a romantic way.
3. He doesn’t do anything special for you.
Guys like doing something nice for the girls they like. So if you two have been friends for a long time and he doesn’t do anything special for you, it’s probably not going to work out.
Special does not include talking to you on the phone about his favorite baseball team. It also doesn’t include asking you to help him pick out what to wear.
Creating a checklist of signs he does not like you in a romantic way can be a little painful. You might even feel a little resentment when you realize just how little of your feelings are reciprocated.
However, once you cool down, you’ll also realize that he’s actually sharing more of himself with you than with the girl he’s infatuated with. If you work on the situation diligently and smartly enough, I’m sure you’ll find a way to get your guy to re-adjust his impression of you.
2012年10月5日星期五
Tips on How to Get a Girl Back after Breakup
Are you suffering because of a recent breakup? Are you looking for tips to get your girl back after breakup? When you suffer a heart break because of a breakup with your girl friend tips and tricks to get her back will pour in from all quarters. The young and old and every man and woman you meet will desperately offer suggestions with the only possibility to help you through the hard breakup. If you keep listening to all of them you will pretty soon be confused about what to follow and what not to.
Ultimately the choice should be yours as to what tip to follow and what to drop. First decide on how much you want your girl back. Are you missing her like hell? Are you sure you want to patch up again? Will she be the same as before or do you think she has changed? Do a self evaluation and find out what resulted in a break up between you and your girl.
The reasons might be many or many a times no reason at all. Maybe you both were a little bored being together after a period of time. Or maybe you said something or did things which resulted in a break up or vice versa. Whatever the reason you should first decide not to repeat it again or end up in a situation in which either of you might end up thinking about it.
Once you get back put an end to the past and start all over new again. Start an all new relationship and grow, mature and try to work on the relationship. Don’t repeat the same mistakes again and try to share a better relationship with more love and affection.
Positive thinking is what can get back your ex for you. If you think negatively you might never end up with her for all your life. If you think you can then you definitely can and will get her back. Keep trying sincerely and try to be honest and truthful in your dealing and be patient. Allow her the space to discover you as a whole new person rather than push your way into her life. Last but not the least; remember cupid is always waiting to work wonders in your life.
Ultimately the choice should be yours as to what tip to follow and what to drop. First decide on how much you want your girl back. Are you missing her like hell? Are you sure you want to patch up again? Will she be the same as before or do you think she has changed? Do a self evaluation and find out what resulted in a break up between you and your girl.
The reasons might be many or many a times no reason at all. Maybe you both were a little bored being together after a period of time. Or maybe you said something or did things which resulted in a break up or vice versa. Whatever the reason you should first decide not to repeat it again or end up in a situation in which either of you might end up thinking about it.
Once you get back put an end to the past and start all over new again. Start an all new relationship and grow, mature and try to work on the relationship. Don’t repeat the same mistakes again and try to share a better relationship with more love and affection.
Positive thinking is what can get back your ex for you. If you think negatively you might never end up with her for all your life. If you think you can then you definitely can and will get her back. Keep trying sincerely and try to be honest and truthful in your dealing and be patient. Allow her the space to discover you as a whole new person rather than push your way into her life. Last but not the least; remember cupid is always waiting to work wonders in your life.
Get My Girlfriend Back - Effective Ways To Get Your Girl Back
Love is not easy, especially when it comes to women. The same goes for men, but for your purposes, will stick with women on this one. When trying to win back her affections, it's important to remember that women appreciate small gestures of love. It makes them feel close to a man. What's more, it brings you one step closer to getting back into her good graces.
You may be wondering, "How can I get my ex girlfriend back?"
But before you jump into trying to get her back, let's first think about the way she acts around you. Does she look at you with expectation in her eyes? If you've answered yes to this question, chances are she would appreciate a surprise from you.
Roses are a symbol of love. Let them represent your affections for her. If you're trying to win her back, telling her how much she needs you in her life is not going to do you any favors. Make her feel needed and appreciated. Order a dozen roses, and have them delivered to her door unannounced. However, don't opt for red roses. They symbolize deep and undying love, and you don't want to jump that far, not yet, anyway.
Instead, opt for yellow or pink roses, which say you care about someone without going overboard about your emotions. Attach a card with simply your name and a line that says, "Thinking of you." This creates an air of mystery. She may begin to wonder what you meant by that. Do you want to be more than friends? Have your feelings for her changed?
Suddenly, such questions will flood her mind.
However, don't immediately jump into pursuit mode, calling her at 30 minute intervals. Sit back, and wait for her to call you. If she never responds, then just assume she's not interested. But if she calls, and her voice has a lift, you've probably hit the jackpot.
When she begins to call you, this is the first step to opening up the doors to communication. Be happy to hear from her, and show it. Ask about her life, but leave out details about yours. If she's truly interested, her questions will flow naturally.
In romance, there are no easy answers, but there are resolutions to be found in her eyes and her actions. Now take your love life by the reins, and make her a part of it-again!
You may be wondering, "How can I get my ex girlfriend back?"
But before you jump into trying to get her back, let's first think about the way she acts around you. Does she look at you with expectation in her eyes? If you've answered yes to this question, chances are she would appreciate a surprise from you.
Roses are a symbol of love. Let them represent your affections for her. If you're trying to win her back, telling her how much she needs you in her life is not going to do you any favors. Make her feel needed and appreciated. Order a dozen roses, and have them delivered to her door unannounced. However, don't opt for red roses. They symbolize deep and undying love, and you don't want to jump that far, not yet, anyway.
Instead, opt for yellow or pink roses, which say you care about someone without going overboard about your emotions. Attach a card with simply your name and a line that says, "Thinking of you." This creates an air of mystery. She may begin to wonder what you meant by that. Do you want to be more than friends? Have your feelings for her changed?
Suddenly, such questions will flood her mind.
However, don't immediately jump into pursuit mode, calling her at 30 minute intervals. Sit back, and wait for her to call you. If she never responds, then just assume she's not interested. But if she calls, and her voice has a lift, you've probably hit the jackpot.
When she begins to call you, this is the first step to opening up the doors to communication. Be happy to hear from her, and show it. Ask about her life, but leave out details about yours. If she's truly interested, her questions will flow naturally.
In romance, there are no easy answers, but there are resolutions to be found in her eyes and her actions. Now take your love life by the reins, and make her a part of it-again!
Social Networking Today
The success of social networking in the last few years had altered the ways we use the Internet. This is based on the mentality that people who share the same interests are drawn together and given that that cyberspace has not barriers, we are able to get our message across the globe.
Social networking allows you to make new friends. In this case, finding Mr. or Mrs. Right so they can live happily ever after. For this to work, the first thing you have to do is become a member. Some of these sites allow you to join for free while there are others that will require you to pay a small fee.
But there are some individuals who use social networking sites for other purposes. For instance, there are specialty dating sites that are designed to hook people up. Another name for it is called a swinger's club and you could have a lot of fun as long as you are open-minded about it.
Before you join a social networking site looking for love or any other purpose, you should be sure that it has systems in place that is designed to protect your personal information so it cannot be hacked especially when incidents of identity theft are on the rise.
There are hundreds of social networking sites that can help you find love and it does not cater only to men or women but also to gays and lesbians as well. If you believe that there is someone out there, sign up, become a member and post your profile. If things are not going so well, post your profile in another site because you are selling yourself to someone who is interested in accepting you for whom you are.
It also makes the job of people involved in viral marketing and word of mouth much easier because you are not necessarily making money from them but getting referrals which helps in promoting your business.
As you can see, there is a startling difference between the traditional search engine and social networking. The first one uses keywords in the hopes that people who use a search engine will be able to find you. The second is a platform because members will not only see your profile but be able to click on a link to go to your site.
When members like what you have done to your webpage, they will most likely save it, store it and even share it with others so you are able to advertise your product or service without even paying for advertisement.
Just to give you an idea, companies spent $525 million in 2007 using a social networking to advertise their products. Estimates show that this figure could increase up to $810 million by 2008 and this is done not by just signing up as a member. Some have used banner or display ads so this can be featured in other sites.
Some within the social networking site have established their own groups so they are able to share their knowledge and experience in their area of business. You can even create profiles with the purpose of sharing knowledge which are very similar to blogs that brings a real person in the forefront to add a more personal touch.
Which one should you use? Some people use one while others use both. To maximize the use banners and pop up ads, it is best to put it in more than one social network. As for those who will be creating groups, you must make sure there is time to update the information there. Ideally, this should be one using one or two social networks.
After all the work is done, you will now have to measure its effectiveness by counting how much money is coming in. Is this going according to your expectations? If it is, then you are on the right track but if things are not going as planned, then that means that there is room for improvement
Social networking can indeed get your message across so people will become aware of your products and services. With so many sites to choose from, it won't be hard for you to get sign up with one and then do the same with another. This can only be achieved of course by making a first time buyer a regular customer who will spread your business by word of mouth.
Social networking allows you to make new friends. In this case, finding Mr. or Mrs. Right so they can live happily ever after. For this to work, the first thing you have to do is become a member. Some of these sites allow you to join for free while there are others that will require you to pay a small fee.
But there are some individuals who use social networking sites for other purposes. For instance, there are specialty dating sites that are designed to hook people up. Another name for it is called a swinger's club and you could have a lot of fun as long as you are open-minded about it.
Before you join a social networking site looking for love or any other purpose, you should be sure that it has systems in place that is designed to protect your personal information so it cannot be hacked especially when incidents of identity theft are on the rise.
There are hundreds of social networking sites that can help you find love and it does not cater only to men or women but also to gays and lesbians as well. If you believe that there is someone out there, sign up, become a member and post your profile. If things are not going so well, post your profile in another site because you are selling yourself to someone who is interested in accepting you for whom you are.
It also makes the job of people involved in viral marketing and word of mouth much easier because you are not necessarily making money from them but getting referrals which helps in promoting your business.
As you can see, there is a startling difference between the traditional search engine and social networking. The first one uses keywords in the hopes that people who use a search engine will be able to find you. The second is a platform because members will not only see your profile but be able to click on a link to go to your site.
When members like what you have done to your webpage, they will most likely save it, store it and even share it with others so you are able to advertise your product or service without even paying for advertisement.
Just to give you an idea, companies spent $525 million in 2007 using a social networking to advertise their products. Estimates show that this figure could increase up to $810 million by 2008 and this is done not by just signing up as a member. Some have used banner or display ads so this can be featured in other sites.
Some within the social networking site have established their own groups so they are able to share their knowledge and experience in their area of business. You can even create profiles with the purpose of sharing knowledge which are very similar to blogs that brings a real person in the forefront to add a more personal touch.
Which one should you use? Some people use one while others use both. To maximize the use banners and pop up ads, it is best to put it in more than one social network. As for those who will be creating groups, you must make sure there is time to update the information there. Ideally, this should be one using one or two social networks.
After all the work is done, you will now have to measure its effectiveness by counting how much money is coming in. Is this going according to your expectations? If it is, then you are on the right track but if things are not going as planned, then that means that there is room for improvement
Social networking can indeed get your message across so people will become aware of your products and services. With so many sites to choose from, it won't be hard for you to get sign up with one and then do the same with another. This can only be achieved of course by making a first time buyer a regular customer who will spread your business by word of mouth.
How to Build Your Confidence After Divorce
It seems that more people split up than stay together these days, and it's not easy to deal with divorce, even when you are the instigator. Even if you are delighted to get divorced there is still a finality about it, the end of an era, and often there is a nagging feeling of guilt. And, at the same time, there are new beginnings, which although they are exciting, can also mean stepping outside your usual comfort zone.
There are many things which will change. If you have been in a "couple" status for some time, you tend to find that the majority of your friends are couples too, and now you are a "single" person, it can to some be a little uncomfortable to be alone amongst pairs. There is also the inevitable wondering about what everyone else thinks; will your friends support both of you, or just one of you? And how do you make new friends? These are of course minor details when compared to dealing with the kids, be they toddlers or adults, and creating a new home environment.
And then there are added issues if you didn't want to get divorced in the first place, and are still in love with your ex. Then you have to find a way in which to step back from your emotions, so that you can begin to see things from a different angle and begin to move on. There may be another person involved and that serves to complicate matters, and emotions, even more.
They say that moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do. And divorce, quite often, means that a house move is on the cards. Emotions go through the roof, charging from one end of the scale to another, and all of the time you try to put on a brave face for the kids, friends, and family and for yourself. You cannot stop questioning why it came to this, and what you did wrong, and what if you had done something differently. But these questions do not help; it's done now, you cannot go back. It's time to move on, time to find ways in which you can help yourself to build a new life, to gain greater inner strength and wisdom from this whole experience. "What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger" as the saying goes.
The first step in coming to terms with almost anything is to accept that this is where you are. It is important to stop fighting it, and stop questioning, and come to that realization that for whatever peculiar reason, this is where you are meant to be at this very moment in time. Having done this you start to feel a whole lot better as your energy is no longer being wasted on useless “what ifs”. Instead you are conserving your energy for use in far better ways. Negative thoughts always sap energy, making you feel that you are spiraling ever lower into oblivion. Positive thoughts, on the other hand, give you energy and build you up until you feel invincible.
But first, just to STOP thinking those negative thoughts, you stop that sapping of energy. If you have trouble stopping these thoughts then at least make time to listen to a hypnosis download. This will help you to relax your thoughts and calm your body and mind. It will give you a "mini holiday" from the events which are whizzing around you. The relaxation associated with hypnosis will also allow you to build up your energy levels, bit by bit, encouraging the belief that you can do this, and you can cope. You can get a free hypnosis download from my website and try it for yourself.
Hypnosis downloads can further be used to retrain your brain to feel confident once again, and to help you to move on. They will help you to stop dwelling on the past and instead to focus upon the future with positivity and, dare I say it, excitement. If you accept that you are where you are because it was meant to be, then you may as well learn and grow and change into the person that perhaps you always wanted to be.
Change happens slowly and gradually, but with the help of hypnosis downloads it is a whole lot quicker and easier. You can learn to retrain your brain with hypnosis confidence suggestions and visualizations. You can learn to see things in a new way and enjoy the challenges with which you are faced. It is important to focus on things which are mood lifting and energy replenishing and hypnosis will help you to do this far more easily than you ever thought possible.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads for relationship issues.
http://www.roseannaleaton.com
There are many things which will change. If you have been in a "couple" status for some time, you tend to find that the majority of your friends are couples too, and now you are a "single" person, it can to some be a little uncomfortable to be alone amongst pairs. There is also the inevitable wondering about what everyone else thinks; will your friends support both of you, or just one of you? And how do you make new friends? These are of course minor details when compared to dealing with the kids, be they toddlers or adults, and creating a new home environment.
And then there are added issues if you didn't want to get divorced in the first place, and are still in love with your ex. Then you have to find a way in which to step back from your emotions, so that you can begin to see things from a different angle and begin to move on. There may be another person involved and that serves to complicate matters, and emotions, even more.
They say that moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do. And divorce, quite often, means that a house move is on the cards. Emotions go through the roof, charging from one end of the scale to another, and all of the time you try to put on a brave face for the kids, friends, and family and for yourself. You cannot stop questioning why it came to this, and what you did wrong, and what if you had done something differently. But these questions do not help; it's done now, you cannot go back. It's time to move on, time to find ways in which you can help yourself to build a new life, to gain greater inner strength and wisdom from this whole experience. "What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger" as the saying goes.
The first step in coming to terms with almost anything is to accept that this is where you are. It is important to stop fighting it, and stop questioning, and come to that realization that for whatever peculiar reason, this is where you are meant to be at this very moment in time. Having done this you start to feel a whole lot better as your energy is no longer being wasted on useless “what ifs”. Instead you are conserving your energy for use in far better ways. Negative thoughts always sap energy, making you feel that you are spiraling ever lower into oblivion. Positive thoughts, on the other hand, give you energy and build you up until you feel invincible.
But first, just to STOP thinking those negative thoughts, you stop that sapping of energy. If you have trouble stopping these thoughts then at least make time to listen to a hypnosis download. This will help you to relax your thoughts and calm your body and mind. It will give you a "mini holiday" from the events which are whizzing around you. The relaxation associated with hypnosis will also allow you to build up your energy levels, bit by bit, encouraging the belief that you can do this, and you can cope. You can get a free hypnosis download from my website and try it for yourself.
Hypnosis downloads can further be used to retrain your brain to feel confident once again, and to help you to move on. They will help you to stop dwelling on the past and instead to focus upon the future with positivity and, dare I say it, excitement. If you accept that you are where you are because it was meant to be, then you may as well learn and grow and change into the person that perhaps you always wanted to be.
Change happens slowly and gradually, but with the help of hypnosis downloads it is a whole lot quicker and easier. You can learn to retrain your brain with hypnosis confidence suggestions and visualizations. You can learn to see things in a new way and enjoy the challenges with which you are faced. It is important to focus on things which are mood lifting and energy replenishing and hypnosis will help you to do this far more easily than you ever thought possible.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads for relationship issues.
http://www.roseannaleaton.com
2012年10月4日星期四
3 Ways to Help Getting My Ex Back
You’ve heard of the phrase, “flashes before your eyes.” It’s usually experienced when a person has a near death experience. The same can hold true for a relationship that just ended: You see all the good times you had and can’t imagine why she would have left you. You’re left heartbroken you want to get her back to prove to her you are what she wants and needs.
However, there are a few steps you should consider taking before jumping on the wagon straight back to your ex.
Take some time to be single again. Though logic says that the best way to keep a hold of someone is to keep in touch, logic doesn’t fit with emotions. Cutting off communication is therapeutic for both of you. You get to practice control and get time to think and she’ll get to realize how big a part you played in her life. You can start planning how you’re going to get her back, how you’re going to keep her and she gets to think about how she really felt about you.
Keep up your appearance. Imagine if the roles were reversed and you broke up with your girlfriend then saw her walking the streets in sweats stained with pizza and ice cream. How would that make you feel? It’s likely, if she were to see you after she broke things off with you, she’s not going to appreciate seeing a broken down mess. The only emotion she’d likely feel towards you is sympathy and sorrow. She’s not going to want to return to a blob.
Remember your friends and family. Basically these people are your support group and are the people that still care about you. These are the ones that will make you happy. They can help you laugh when you’re down. Laughter is great medicine for the broken heart. Having a social life is good for you because it keeps you distracted, helps you keep up appearances and makes her see how well you’re doing…should she run across you while you’re out with friends. All benefits for getting your ex back.
However, there are a few steps you should consider taking before jumping on the wagon straight back to your ex.
Take some time to be single again. Though logic says that the best way to keep a hold of someone is to keep in touch, logic doesn’t fit with emotions. Cutting off communication is therapeutic for both of you. You get to practice control and get time to think and she’ll get to realize how big a part you played in her life. You can start planning how you’re going to get her back, how you’re going to keep her and she gets to think about how she really felt about you.
Keep up your appearance. Imagine if the roles were reversed and you broke up with your girlfriend then saw her walking the streets in sweats stained with pizza and ice cream. How would that make you feel? It’s likely, if she were to see you after she broke things off with you, she’s not going to appreciate seeing a broken down mess. The only emotion she’d likely feel towards you is sympathy and sorrow. She’s not going to want to return to a blob.
Remember your friends and family. Basically these people are your support group and are the people that still care about you. These are the ones that will make you happy. They can help you laugh when you’re down. Laughter is great medicine for the broken heart. Having a social life is good for you because it keeps you distracted, helps you keep up appearances and makes her see how well you’re doing…should she run across you while you’re out with friends. All benefits for getting your ex back.
What You Should Know About Wedding Toasts
Wedding toasts are one part of the ceremony anticipated by many. All the heartwarming messages and funny anecdotes are given by the people close to the couple. Many stumble to create their own toast that will be appreciated by everyone. Others simply browse available resources such as the Internet and poetry books.
Though it is really tempting to include a ton of quotes and anecdotes in a toast, there are some things that must be remembered in writing it. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind when writing:
• A wedding is a special event
Though this fact is a matter of common sense, some guests somehow find a way to forget it. Write a toast that will appreciate how special the event is. Do not include matters that are completely unnecessary to the couple or to the event. Keep it solemn and special. Use words that are appropriate.
• Do not use too many quotes and anecdotes.
An anecdote, a quote, a verse or a stanza will make a wedding toast interesting. However, there are some who tend to get carried away and put too much of it in their speech. Do not do this as it will only lengthen the speech and there’s a big chance that the guests will stop listening. Use these short writings in the beginning or at the end of your wedding toasts to grab the attention of the listeners.
• Keep it short and direct
The cardinal rule in writing speeches is to have a point and get to it immediately. Do not place too many less important points in it. Remember that there are other people in the wedding who will also deliver their message to the newlyweds. Also, a short and direct message will most likely be appreciated by everyone as compared to a long and twisty one.
• Respect the couple
The wedding is about the couple. Always remember that fact. Write a speech that will share how much the couple loved each other or how they reflect the perfect union. Other matters that are personal to the couple are better excluded. It might only ruin the entire event.
Write the wedding toasts properly. Keep in mind that this is a special event and as much as possible, everyone in it would like to keep it that way. Choose the words carefully in order not to offend anyone. Otherwise, the event will be remembered in an unpleasant way.
To your beautiful wedding!
Though it is really tempting to include a ton of quotes and anecdotes in a toast, there are some things that must be remembered in writing it. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind when writing:
• A wedding is a special event
Though this fact is a matter of common sense, some guests somehow find a way to forget it. Write a toast that will appreciate how special the event is. Do not include matters that are completely unnecessary to the couple or to the event. Keep it solemn and special. Use words that are appropriate.
• Do not use too many quotes and anecdotes.
An anecdote, a quote, a verse or a stanza will make a wedding toast interesting. However, there are some who tend to get carried away and put too much of it in their speech. Do not do this as it will only lengthen the speech and there’s a big chance that the guests will stop listening. Use these short writings in the beginning or at the end of your wedding toasts to grab the attention of the listeners.
• Keep it short and direct
The cardinal rule in writing speeches is to have a point and get to it immediately. Do not place too many less important points in it. Remember that there are other people in the wedding who will also deliver their message to the newlyweds. Also, a short and direct message will most likely be appreciated by everyone as compared to a long and twisty one.
• Respect the couple
The wedding is about the couple. Always remember that fact. Write a speech that will share how much the couple loved each other or how they reflect the perfect union. Other matters that are personal to the couple are better excluded. It might only ruin the entire event.
Write the wedding toasts properly. Keep in mind that this is a special event and as much as possible, everyone in it would like to keep it that way. Choose the words carefully in order not to offend anyone. Otherwise, the event will be remembered in an unpleasant way.
To your beautiful wedding!
Getting My Girlfriend Back - Shocking Strategies To Win Her Back
Unfortunately, women don't come with instruction manuals. Then again, neither does the game of love. Yet you left to navigate both of these without any sense of direction. If you are planning on getting your girlfriend back, you have probably already thought about what makes her tick and how you can tap into her emotions and make your way back to her heart.
If you thought you'd have to set out on a complicated plot to win her back, fear not. Getting a girlfriend back is easier than you may think if you know her well enough. Before pursuing her, however, work on your confidence. Tell yourself you can win her back, and develop some strategies for making her want you again. Don't let her get away. This is your chance.
Even though it may be tempting to play hard to get, women don't appreciate being held on a string. If you were planning on telling her you'd call, and then waiting five days to pick up the phone, steer clear. This is likely to make her angry. Instead, tell her you'll give her a call soon, and follow through. If she acts blasé about the situation, take this as your cue to move on, and don't look back.
Capturing her heart
Nothing charms a woman like a good poem. Even if she's not the literary type, a few kind words go a long way. If the idea of writing a poem doesn't exactly fit your style, consider paying her some compliments. Tell your ex girlfriend that she's awesome. Don't tell her how indubitably great she is. This will make you sound cheesy. Just a few kind words go a long way.
However, if you are up for stretching your literary muscles, write down a few lines of prose or a rhyme that shows you care about her. If you need ideas, go to Google, and type in the keywords, "love poetry." This will pull up a bunch of love poems that will give you an idea about what to write.  Then, write down a few words, and build some ideas off of those keywords.
If you thought you'd have to set out on a complicated plot to win her back, fear not. Getting a girlfriend back is easier than you may think if you know her well enough. Before pursuing her, however, work on your confidence. Tell yourself you can win her back, and develop some strategies for making her want you again. Don't let her get away. This is your chance.
Even though it may be tempting to play hard to get, women don't appreciate being held on a string. If you were planning on telling her you'd call, and then waiting five days to pick up the phone, steer clear. This is likely to make her angry. Instead, tell her you'll give her a call soon, and follow through. If she acts blasé about the situation, take this as your cue to move on, and don't look back.
Capturing her heart
Nothing charms a woman like a good poem. Even if she's not the literary type, a few kind words go a long way. If the idea of writing a poem doesn't exactly fit your style, consider paying her some compliments. Tell your ex girlfriend that she's awesome. Don't tell her how indubitably great she is. This will make you sound cheesy. Just a few kind words go a long way.
However, if you are up for stretching your literary muscles, write down a few lines of prose or a rhyme that shows you care about her. If you need ideas, go to Google, and type in the keywords, "love poetry." This will pull up a bunch of love poems that will give you an idea about what to write.  Then, write down a few words, and build some ideas off of those keywords.
How Long Should You Wait For The Call?
You went through the steps, and gotten a girl's number. You call, and getting no answer, you leave a message.
Therein lies the issue.
You've essentially put the ball in her court, and if you call her back too soon, you're going to look desperate. Wait too long to call her back, and you run the risk of having her lose interest.
This begs the question - how long should you wait for a girl to call you back?
If you watch a movie like "Swingers," all about young guys in the club scene, the common knowledge there is to wait 3 days to call back.
The logic here is that 3 days seems like enough time so that you don't come off as some type of desperate freak. But when it comes to getting a return phone call, you should be thinking about ANYTHING but yourself!
Understand - it's up to the girl whether or not she will call you back. So if you understand where she's coming from, you'll have a better idea of when to try again.
For example, did you get a feeling that the girl was really interested in you when she gave you the number? Try to remember. Sometimes a woman will hand you a number just to get rid of you.
Knowing the girl was into you is a big factor, because you have more leeway with someone who likes you than you do with someone who's neutral or on the fence.
Also keep in mind that girls can get busy, and may not have time to call you. Then, when they get time, they may be too tired or don't feel like talking.
Talking to someone on the phone is a time commitment, and it also takes mental energy that can sometimes be hard to expend. Calling a girl on a weekday, when most people have jobs and responsibilities to attend to, can affect callback time.
Here are some tips when it comes to playing the phone game...
Have something ready to talk about, if you have to leave a message. Just saying "hi" and telling her to call you back won't cut it. Give a reason to call you back. Recall a prior conversation or point of interest. Tell her you just heard a funny joke you'd like to share with her. It doesn't matter, as long as she knows there's something to look forward to when she calls.
Give her a day to call you back. Don't wait three days, but don't call her back an hour later either. If she doesn't get back to you in a day's time, she might have just gotten busy or sidetracked. Call again the next day.
Use text message reminders before the next callback. Unlike leaving voice messages, texting a girl often doesn't come off as desperate. In fact, they can serve as good reminders, and more women will text you back rather than call you back. After your message, text her around three hours later. You can say something like:
"Hey - haven't heard back from you yet. You must be super-busy! Or are you leading some strange double life I don't know about? lol."
Texting little things like this just keep you on her radar.
Also - don't overdo the calling. I'll usually attempt to call a girl three times. If I don't hear back from her, and she's not responding to my text messages, I'll just move on. Best not to waste your time and energy trying to contact a girl who's too busy for you or not interested, because there are plenty of women out there who will be.
Therein lies the issue.
You've essentially put the ball in her court, and if you call her back too soon, you're going to look desperate. Wait too long to call her back, and you run the risk of having her lose interest.
This begs the question - how long should you wait for a girl to call you back?
If you watch a movie like "Swingers," all about young guys in the club scene, the common knowledge there is to wait 3 days to call back.
The logic here is that 3 days seems like enough time so that you don't come off as some type of desperate freak. But when it comes to getting a return phone call, you should be thinking about ANYTHING but yourself!
Understand - it's up to the girl whether or not she will call you back. So if you understand where she's coming from, you'll have a better idea of when to try again.
For example, did you get a feeling that the girl was really interested in you when she gave you the number? Try to remember. Sometimes a woman will hand you a number just to get rid of you.
Knowing the girl was into you is a big factor, because you have more leeway with someone who likes you than you do with someone who's neutral or on the fence.
Also keep in mind that girls can get busy, and may not have time to call you. Then, when they get time, they may be too tired or don't feel like talking.
Talking to someone on the phone is a time commitment, and it also takes mental energy that can sometimes be hard to expend. Calling a girl on a weekday, when most people have jobs and responsibilities to attend to, can affect callback time.
Here are some tips when it comes to playing the phone game...
Have something ready to talk about, if you have to leave a message. Just saying "hi" and telling her to call you back won't cut it. Give a reason to call you back. Recall a prior conversation or point of interest. Tell her you just heard a funny joke you'd like to share with her. It doesn't matter, as long as she knows there's something to look forward to when she calls.
Give her a day to call you back. Don't wait three days, but don't call her back an hour later either. If she doesn't get back to you in a day's time, she might have just gotten busy or sidetracked. Call again the next day.
Use text message reminders before the next callback. Unlike leaving voice messages, texting a girl often doesn't come off as desperate. In fact, they can serve as good reminders, and more women will text you back rather than call you back. After your message, text her around three hours later. You can say something like:
"Hey - haven't heard back from you yet. You must be super-busy! Or are you leading some strange double life I don't know about? lol."
Texting little things like this just keep you on her radar.
Also - don't overdo the calling. I'll usually attempt to call a girl three times. If I don't hear back from her, and she's not responding to my text messages, I'll just move on. Best not to waste your time and energy trying to contact a girl who's too busy for you or not interested, because there are plenty of women out there who will be.
2012年10月3日星期三
The Art Of Verbal Flirting, Part 3
When learning to flirt, there are several basics that can put you light years ahead of most. In the last article, I wrote about the importance of turn taking. In this one, I'll write about the actual nature of the content that you talk about.
There are certain rules we need to acknowledge in regards to what men say to women. Surprisingly, most men don't know these! Understanding them is important, as you'll avoid much of the headaches men encounter while trying to flirt.
It's not so much the content of what you are saying, but rather the delivery and it's tone. For example if you drone on negatively about a certain subject, you are bound to eventually drive someone off.
It's a simple mistake, and understandable. We live in a culture that celebrates cynicism to an extent, so people tend to embrace it. Overall, a little goes a long way though. Avoid that in your conversations, as you'll bore her and she'll get fed up with you.
Other ways to make a conversation boring are as follows:
Preoccupation with yourself. If you talk about yourself constantly, and show no interest in others (particularly her!), you are definitely going to have a short run.
Superficiality - talking only about the banal, telling hackneyed jokes or stories. This reeks of shallowness, just like the stories.
Being tedious - Talking too slowly, pausing too long, and taking too long to make a point. This is common, as people try to appear calm and smooth in their interactions. Remember, there is always a balance.
Too passive - just refusing to take part and leaving the conversation on the other person.
Showing no enthusiasm - being monotone, emotionless, and making little, if any, eye contact. Nothing good can come from this.
Being overly serious - it has it's time and place, but when the other person is joking, you should be able to shake off the serious tone. Failing to can kill your conversation.
Overly excited - if you are the type who is all over the place with the conversation, or too easily sidetracked, you'll drive the other person nuts. Try to reign this in.
So what IS a good thing to say? Aside from avoiding the above issues, there are a few things you can do. The first is to keep on the topic, and allow for turn taking. The second is to do your part in gauging the conversation, keep a positive attitude, and make it fun! Being fun is a huge part, and you can talk about almost anything!
Another thing to look at - compliments. They can be good, and are usually most welcome. However, you CAN go overboard. If you do, the situation is recoverable though.
If you do pay a compliment, be cautious of the nature of it. You can convey attraction without having to resort to vulgar or intrusive compliments. If you know the person, you can judge it better, but be aware of this issue.
Keeping it simple, and saying something such as "You look gorgeous", can go a long way. Going further than this can cause offense or embarrassment. While that is not always the case, it's a gambit that might not work out. Make sure to look her in the eyes while doing this - looking anywhere else could be potentially bad.
As well, while commenting on a woman's appearance, remember that there is a time and place for everything. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is the timing your compliments poorly, as well as an other flirtatious overture.
Always be aware of the flirtatious overtures you are making. Sometimes it is obvious - you'd want to avoid saying something to someone who just lost a loved one, for example. But there are other times, when it's not so obvious.
A good rule of thumb is to think about it in neutral terms. In other words, would you compliment a man in the situation? Would it seem appropriate? The same would apply if it was a woman. Keep it within those boundaries, and you'll do fine.
While compliments are just a small part, they are important, and when used right will propel the attraction, instead of destroying it.
Pay attention to yourself during a conversation. Take notes too, if you can. Look for the rules mentioned above, and make sure to correct yourself after it happens. Eventually you'll smooth things out.
Coming up soon, I'll show you how listening is another important part of your conversational skills,
There are certain rules we need to acknowledge in regards to what men say to women. Surprisingly, most men don't know these! Understanding them is important, as you'll avoid much of the headaches men encounter while trying to flirt.
It's not so much the content of what you are saying, but rather the delivery and it's tone. For example if you drone on negatively about a certain subject, you are bound to eventually drive someone off.
It's a simple mistake, and understandable. We live in a culture that celebrates cynicism to an extent, so people tend to embrace it. Overall, a little goes a long way though. Avoid that in your conversations, as you'll bore her and she'll get fed up with you.
Other ways to make a conversation boring are as follows:
Preoccupation with yourself. If you talk about yourself constantly, and show no interest in others (particularly her!), you are definitely going to have a short run.
Superficiality - talking only about the banal, telling hackneyed jokes or stories. This reeks of shallowness, just like the stories.
Being tedious - Talking too slowly, pausing too long, and taking too long to make a point. This is common, as people try to appear calm and smooth in their interactions. Remember, there is always a balance.
Too passive - just refusing to take part and leaving the conversation on the other person.
Showing no enthusiasm - being monotone, emotionless, and making little, if any, eye contact. Nothing good can come from this.
Being overly serious - it has it's time and place, but when the other person is joking, you should be able to shake off the serious tone. Failing to can kill your conversation.
Overly excited - if you are the type who is all over the place with the conversation, or too easily sidetracked, you'll drive the other person nuts. Try to reign this in.
So what IS a good thing to say? Aside from avoiding the above issues, there are a few things you can do. The first is to keep on the topic, and allow for turn taking. The second is to do your part in gauging the conversation, keep a positive attitude, and make it fun! Being fun is a huge part, and you can talk about almost anything!
Another thing to look at - compliments. They can be good, and are usually most welcome. However, you CAN go overboard. If you do, the situation is recoverable though.
If you do pay a compliment, be cautious of the nature of it. You can convey attraction without having to resort to vulgar or intrusive compliments. If you know the person, you can judge it better, but be aware of this issue.
Keeping it simple, and saying something such as "You look gorgeous", can go a long way. Going further than this can cause offense or embarrassment. While that is not always the case, it's a gambit that might not work out. Make sure to look her in the eyes while doing this - looking anywhere else could be potentially bad.
As well, while commenting on a woman's appearance, remember that there is a time and place for everything. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is the timing your compliments poorly, as well as an other flirtatious overture.
Always be aware of the flirtatious overtures you are making. Sometimes it is obvious - you'd want to avoid saying something to someone who just lost a loved one, for example. But there are other times, when it's not so obvious.
A good rule of thumb is to think about it in neutral terms. In other words, would you compliment a man in the situation? Would it seem appropriate? The same would apply if it was a woman. Keep it within those boundaries, and you'll do fine.
While compliments are just a small part, they are important, and when used right will propel the attraction, instead of destroying it.
Pay attention to yourself during a conversation. Take notes too, if you can. Look for the rules mentioned above, and make sure to correct yourself after it happens. Eventually you'll smooth things out.
Coming up soon, I'll show you how listening is another important part of your conversational skills,
Roses and their Meanings
Roses are among the top picks when it comes to flowers. Countless of bouquets of roses have been sent to millions of people through the years. Most of the time, they’re the default flowers of choice especially if the bouquet is given for romantic reasons.
Nevertheless, roses are not something you can give as a romantic gift Philippines. Roses come in many different colors and each color symbolizes a different meaning. Whether you plan to give your special someone a bouquet just to make her smile, make a sick friend feel better, or give thanks to someone, check out below the different meanings of the colors of roses before deciding on a gift Philippines.
* White. This color easily symbolizes innocence, purity, and truth. It can say ‘I miss you’, ‘You’re heavenly’ or simply pure intentions.
* Red. Roses with this color are classic and popular choices as an expression of love. The color symbolizes romantic love and passion. Aside from this, red roses could also be used to show courage and respect, or to say ‘Well done’ and ‘Congratulations’.
* Pink. The range of hues of pink roses one can use is varied. Pale pink roses connote grace, gentleness, sweetness, and elegance while light pink roses can mean fun, admiration, and happiness. Deep pink roses, on the other hand, could simply say ‘Thank you’.
* Yellow. This color easily sends a message of friendship, gladness, delight, and new beginnings. They are also great as a ‘Welcome Back’ or ‘Remember Me’ gift Philippines. They are also perfect for sending congratulations to newlyweds, graduates, newly engaged, and new mothers.
* Orange. Warmth, energy, desire, and enthusiasm are easily associated with orange roses. They can also be sent with a message of ‘I’m proud of you’.
* Lavender. This color symbolizes deep adoration and enchantment. If you want to express love at first sight, go for the light purple ones.
* Peach. Roses of this color speak of appreciation, gratitude, sympathy, sincerity, and modesty.
* Blue. Since roses of this color are not natural, they are only dyed; sending roses of this color symbolizes the unattainable or impossible.
* Visit the website http://www.myflowerdepot.com.
Nevertheless, roses are not something you can give as a romantic gift Philippines. Roses come in many different colors and each color symbolizes a different meaning. Whether you plan to give your special someone a bouquet just to make her smile, make a sick friend feel better, or give thanks to someone, check out below the different meanings of the colors of roses before deciding on a gift Philippines.
* White. This color easily symbolizes innocence, purity, and truth. It can say ‘I miss you’, ‘You’re heavenly’ or simply pure intentions.
* Red. Roses with this color are classic and popular choices as an expression of love. The color symbolizes romantic love and passion. Aside from this, red roses could also be used to show courage and respect, or to say ‘Well done’ and ‘Congratulations’.
* Pink. The range of hues of pink roses one can use is varied. Pale pink roses connote grace, gentleness, sweetness, and elegance while light pink roses can mean fun, admiration, and happiness. Deep pink roses, on the other hand, could simply say ‘Thank you’.
* Yellow. This color easily sends a message of friendship, gladness, delight, and new beginnings. They are also great as a ‘Welcome Back’ or ‘Remember Me’ gift Philippines. They are also perfect for sending congratulations to newlyweds, graduates, newly engaged, and new mothers.
* Orange. Warmth, energy, desire, and enthusiasm are easily associated with orange roses. They can also be sent with a message of ‘I’m proud of you’.
* Lavender. This color symbolizes deep adoration and enchantment. If you want to express love at first sight, go for the light purple ones.
* Peach. Roses of this color speak of appreciation, gratitude, sympathy, sincerity, and modesty.
* Blue. Since roses of this color are not natural, they are only dyed; sending roses of this color symbolizes the unattainable or impossible.
* Visit the website http://www.myflowerdepot.com.
Why Did He Leave - How to Get Him Back
To be abandoned by your loved one is among the most painful experiences in life. You’ll be feeling hurt, lonely, angry, resentful and confused. A thousand questions will swirl through your mind but in the end they will all come down to that most intractable of mysteries… why did he leave?
You probably think that unless you can get him to look you in the eye and explain, you’ll never know. But in fact the reason is easier to find than you think because it’s common to the vast majority of men who leave one relationship in search of another.
This is not just hearsay; this is the conclusion of therapists after conducting innumerable sessions with men who left their partners. The overwhelming proportion could explain it quite simply:
"Because no matter what I did, I couldn't make her happy anymore."
That probably comes as a huge surprise to you. And it’s also very sad because it means that the collapse of your relationship is the result not of infidelity, deceit or boredom but of a communication breakdown… something entirely avoidable.
But this revelation teaches you a lot about him and about men in general. Through all the ups and downs, what matters to them most is to know they do make you happy, not only for your sake but also for their own feelings of self-worth.
So, of all the things you think he wants, he’s missing the one that’s easiest for you to give. And that means it could be simpler than you think to put it right. Tell him you understand and make a promise to be more demonstrative about how he makes you feel in the future. Words, gestures, looks, body language – you can say it in so many ways. But however you choose to show it, make sure you keep doing it.
You probably think that unless you can get him to look you in the eye and explain, you’ll never know. But in fact the reason is easier to find than you think because it’s common to the vast majority of men who leave one relationship in search of another.
This is not just hearsay; this is the conclusion of therapists after conducting innumerable sessions with men who left their partners. The overwhelming proportion could explain it quite simply:
"Because no matter what I did, I couldn't make her happy anymore."
That probably comes as a huge surprise to you. And it’s also very sad because it means that the collapse of your relationship is the result not of infidelity, deceit or boredom but of a communication breakdown… something entirely avoidable.
But this revelation teaches you a lot about him and about men in general. Through all the ups and downs, what matters to them most is to know they do make you happy, not only for your sake but also for their own feelings of self-worth.
So, of all the things you think he wants, he’s missing the one that’s easiest for you to give. And that means it could be simpler than you think to put it right. Tell him you understand and make a promise to be more demonstrative about how he makes you feel in the future. Words, gestures, looks, body language – you can say it in so many ways. But however you choose to show it, make sure you keep doing it.
The Trick To Approaching Women
Are you one of those guys who thinks the only place to approach women is in a bar? Most men are that way.
This is not true by any stretch of the imagination.
Most of my personal success with women, and most of the success of my readers, happen in more "normal" places like coffee shops, bookstores, schools, parties, and even online.
The fact of the matter is - you can approach women ANYWHERE. And more importantly, you can do it successfully.
But guys tend to get confused about the more "normal" venues, like the supermarket, bookstore, or coffee shop. After all, these are places where guys can't rely on the staple "Can I buy you a drink?" line most often seen in bars and clubs.
I think that most guys have a fear of approaching women because they don't really know what to say, or where to take the conversation. I know that was a big one for me when I first wanted to learn about increasing my success with the ladies.
But here's what I learned: YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A "CONVERSATION" AT ALL WHEN YOU FIRST MEET A WOMAN!
Seriously. Lots of guys think they have to immediately sweep a woman off her feet the second they start talking to her. But that's wrong.
Wrong, wrong, wrong!
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET HER PHONE NUMBER!
Now, there's a lot more to success with women than just getting her number. But at the bare minimum, all you really need to worry about when you first meet a woman is getting her contact information!
That's it!
It's actually rather fast and simple too! If you know what you are doing, a few minutes tops. Several friends and students of mine have gone out with me and have witnessed it - 5 numbers in an evening, almost effortlessly, and the conversation didn't last but a few moments it seemed. Talk about a perspective shift on their parts!
Long conversations are not a pre-requisite for getting a phone number or future date.
So the real question is - How do you get a girl to give you her number so quickly?
It's actually easier than you think.
1) Know exactly how you want the conversation to go.
2) Know HOW to ask.
3) Know WHEN to ask.
4) Have pen and paper on you.
They key here is to engage the woman quickly, in a fun and outgoing manner, and then before you break off to go on with your day, ask her this magic line:
"Hey, do you have email?"
No matter what she says, treat her answer as an agreement to give it to you, then take a pen out of your pocket and hand it to her to write down her email. As she's writing say, "and write your name and number there too..."
Boom. You got the digits! Easy as pie, right?
The key is that you have to act LIKE THIS IS THE MOST NATURAL THING IN THE WORLD.
I've personally gotten HUNDREDS of emails and phone numbers (from women I've just met) with this technique.
The crux of this is to continuously REHEARSE how you will behave when it's time to for this. Practice makes perfect, and by doing this it will seem to just be a part of who you are and effortlessly smooth.
Once you get this down, you'll have mastered a technique that will help you meet women anywhere you might find yourself!
This is not true by any stretch of the imagination.
Most of my personal success with women, and most of the success of my readers, happen in more "normal" places like coffee shops, bookstores, schools, parties, and even online.
The fact of the matter is - you can approach women ANYWHERE. And more importantly, you can do it successfully.
But guys tend to get confused about the more "normal" venues, like the supermarket, bookstore, or coffee shop. After all, these are places where guys can't rely on the staple "Can I buy you a drink?" line most often seen in bars and clubs.
I think that most guys have a fear of approaching women because they don't really know what to say, or where to take the conversation. I know that was a big one for me when I first wanted to learn about increasing my success with the ladies.
But here's what I learned: YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A "CONVERSATION" AT ALL WHEN YOU FIRST MEET A WOMAN!
Seriously. Lots of guys think they have to immediately sweep a woman off her feet the second they start talking to her. But that's wrong.
Wrong, wrong, wrong!
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET HER PHONE NUMBER!
Now, there's a lot more to success with women than just getting her number. But at the bare minimum, all you really need to worry about when you first meet a woman is getting her contact information!
That's it!
It's actually rather fast and simple too! If you know what you are doing, a few minutes tops. Several friends and students of mine have gone out with me and have witnessed it - 5 numbers in an evening, almost effortlessly, and the conversation didn't last but a few moments it seemed. Talk about a perspective shift on their parts!
Long conversations are not a pre-requisite for getting a phone number or future date.
So the real question is - How do you get a girl to give you her number so quickly?
It's actually easier than you think.
1) Know exactly how you want the conversation to go.
2) Know HOW to ask.
3) Know WHEN to ask.
4) Have pen and paper on you.
They key here is to engage the woman quickly, in a fun and outgoing manner, and then before you break off to go on with your day, ask her this magic line:
"Hey, do you have email?"
No matter what she says, treat her answer as an agreement to give it to you, then take a pen out of your pocket and hand it to her to write down her email. As she's writing say, "and write your name and number there too..."
Boom. You got the digits! Easy as pie, right?
The key is that you have to act LIKE THIS IS THE MOST NATURAL THING IN THE WORLD.
I've personally gotten HUNDREDS of emails and phone numbers (from women I've just met) with this technique.
The crux of this is to continuously REHEARSE how you will behave when it's time to for this. Practice makes perfect, and by doing this it will seem to just be a part of who you are and effortlessly smooth.
Once you get this down, you'll have mastered a technique that will help you meet women anywhere you might find yourself!
2012年10月2日星期二
Aren’t Indian Women Asian Women Too?
When talking about Asian women, the first thing that comes to most people’s minds is the slit eyes, the petite bodies – we automatically think Japanese, Chinese, Korean ... East Asian. If you don’t believe me, try searching ‘Asian Women’ on Google and see what the search results will bring.
There is a lot of information about how to date Asian women and their culture. But all this isn’t quite comprehensive because certain groups are somehow forgotten in this category. One of the groups left out is that of Indian women. We kind of take Asian to mean oriental. But according to the United States definition of Asian, the group also includes people from Southeast Asia and Indian subcontinent.
When we talk about Asian women dating and we generalize based on Chinese or Korean women, are we doing justice to Indian women? They say Asian women mostly date white men. In fact most “Asian women” I know are married to white men. But when coming to such conclusions, do we think of Indian women?
I decided to go onto interracial dating websites to look at the categories that are there. Most have a different category for Asian women and a different one for Indian women. Indians now have their own online dating sites for those interested in having relationships with them. And since most Indian women usually wait for someone to arrange their marriages, the internet through dating sites have become tools for empowering them to make their own choices about dating and marriage. They can now make acquaintances with members of the opposite sex without fear of social rebuttal.
But much as interracial dating within the American-Indian community is rising and more Indians are marrying outside their race, most Indian women in America still complain that they often find themselves caught between two worlds – A non-Indian man may not understand and fit into a traditional Indian family and also Indian men are hard to come by in the U.S. coz they avoid the Americanized Indian women.
I don’t know why we Americans don’t consider Indian women in the category of Asian women. However, I think it will be nice if we try and write more about their attitude to dating and online relationships, and how - even with their stringent cultures – they take online dating into the real world. How does interracial dating online affect their cultural and intercommunication practices and how does online dating bring social change for Indian women?
There is a lot of information about how to date Asian women and their culture. But all this isn’t quite comprehensive because certain groups are somehow forgotten in this category. One of the groups left out is that of Indian women. We kind of take Asian to mean oriental. But according to the United States definition of Asian, the group also includes people from Southeast Asia and Indian subcontinent.
When we talk about Asian women dating and we generalize based on Chinese or Korean women, are we doing justice to Indian women? They say Asian women mostly date white men. In fact most “Asian women” I know are married to white men. But when coming to such conclusions, do we think of Indian women?
I decided to go onto interracial dating websites to look at the categories that are there. Most have a different category for Asian women and a different one for Indian women. Indians now have their own online dating sites for those interested in having relationships with them. And since most Indian women usually wait for someone to arrange their marriages, the internet through dating sites have become tools for empowering them to make their own choices about dating and marriage. They can now make acquaintances with members of the opposite sex without fear of social rebuttal.
But much as interracial dating within the American-Indian community is rising and more Indians are marrying outside their race, most Indian women in America still complain that they often find themselves caught between two worlds – A non-Indian man may not understand and fit into a traditional Indian family and also Indian men are hard to come by in the U.S. coz they avoid the Americanized Indian women.
I don’t know why we Americans don’t consider Indian women in the category of Asian women. However, I think it will be nice if we try and write more about their attitude to dating and online relationships, and how - even with their stringent cultures – they take online dating into the real world. How does interracial dating online affect their cultural and intercommunication practices and how does online dating bring social change for Indian women?
Get Back Together With Ex Girlfriend - Acceptance Is The Key To Win Her Back
Sometimes, when a couple breaks up, the other party may find it hard to accept that the relationship is over. Most of the times, it is the guys who find it hard to accept that their girlfriend has left them so they start thinking of ways on how to get back together with ex girlfriend.
Men have a do-or-die and all-or-nothing attitude. It probably is common in how a man is programmed to act, talk, and behave. When he wants something, he will get it. He will find a way; use up all his resources just to get what he is after.
If he wants to get back with an ex girlfriend, expect that he will stop at nothing to achieve that goal. There is really nothing wrong with this. As a matter of fact, it is quite admirable because guys can show strength of character, perseverance, courage, and determination in these situations.
When you see a man in this particular scenario, you would feel good about the male species.
If you are one of those men who doesn't want to let her go, you should remember that in order to get back with an ex girlfriend, you first need to accept the fact that the break up has happened. You can't go to her and act like that thing has not occurred. She will be annoyed for sure.
Accepting what happened and letting her know that you have done it will make you look like a matured person. This is already a plus point on your part. She will feel better if you let her know that you accept her decision and that you hold no ill feelings.
Then, it's time for you to act out your plan. I am sure you have an idea as to what you need to do to get her back. What I have here are some things you need to avoid if you want to win her back.
Beg her to take you back! Desperation will lead you nowhere. It will only make you look like a loser.
Demand that she decides right away if she wants you back or not. Aggression, too, will not lead you anywhere. Yes, you used to be her boyfriend but that doesn't give you the right to command her and demand an answer from her. You need to respect her feelings.
Let your emotions take over. You have to get a hold of yourself. You will not be credible if you lose it and get carried away by your emotions or temper. She will be turned off for sure.
Think that everything will go back to the way it used to be. This is a major misconception. Do not think that things will be like how they used to-this is a major arrogant behavior. You have to show humility. Remember, you are trying to win her love back, so if you are showing signs of arrogance, she may just change her mind already and not give you any chance.
With these things to watch out for, you will be able to successfully get back with an ex girlfriend.
Men have a do-or-die and all-or-nothing attitude. It probably is common in how a man is programmed to act, talk, and behave. When he wants something, he will get it. He will find a way; use up all his resources just to get what he is after.
If he wants to get back with an ex girlfriend, expect that he will stop at nothing to achieve that goal. There is really nothing wrong with this. As a matter of fact, it is quite admirable because guys can show strength of character, perseverance, courage, and determination in these situations.
When you see a man in this particular scenario, you would feel good about the male species.
If you are one of those men who doesn't want to let her go, you should remember that in order to get back with an ex girlfriend, you first need to accept the fact that the break up has happened. You can't go to her and act like that thing has not occurred. She will be annoyed for sure.
Accepting what happened and letting her know that you have done it will make you look like a matured person. This is already a plus point on your part. She will feel better if you let her know that you accept her decision and that you hold no ill feelings.
Then, it's time for you to act out your plan. I am sure you have an idea as to what you need to do to get her back. What I have here are some things you need to avoid if you want to win her back.
Beg her to take you back! Desperation will lead you nowhere. It will only make you look like a loser.
Demand that she decides right away if she wants you back or not. Aggression, too, will not lead you anywhere. Yes, you used to be her boyfriend but that doesn't give you the right to command her and demand an answer from her. You need to respect her feelings.
Let your emotions take over. You have to get a hold of yourself. You will not be credible if you lose it and get carried away by your emotions or temper. She will be turned off for sure.
Think that everything will go back to the way it used to be. This is a major misconception. Do not think that things will be like how they used to-this is a major arrogant behavior. You have to show humility. Remember, you are trying to win her love back, so if you are showing signs of arrogance, she may just change her mind already and not give you any chance.
With these things to watch out for, you will be able to successfully get back with an ex girlfriend.
How To Pick Up Women
Are you struggling when it comes to finding, meeting, and picking up women? If so, here are some guidelines to help you succeed in finding the women of your dreams!
Do you want to go out and pick up a woman tonight, but have no clue where to start?
Many guys get lots of bad advice about picking up women from their friends and family who know even LESS about how to get a girl than they do. Even so-called "Dating experts" that you see on TV usually don't know what they're talking about because they have to cater to the feminist media! (And truth be told, the mainstream media looks down on any tactic that could help guys get laid!)
Understand: Learning how to pick up women is not a politically-correct topic!
You want some practical advice that can really work, that you can start to use right away. Fortunately, you found this article. So let's get started!
Let me first tell you what you DON'T need to pick up women.
You DON'T need to look like a "male model."
This is a huge mistake that almost all men make. Little do they realize that close to 85% of women place more importance on how a man makes them FEEL as opposed to how he actually LOOKS.
So if you don't think you're a very attractive guy, don't worry! There's still hope for you.
Second, you DON'T have to spend a lot of money or drive an expensive car!
Many of the best ladies men I know never spend more than $30 on a date - heck, some of them don't even own a car! (And if they do, it usually isn't a very nice one!)
Most women don't care how much money you make or spend on them - IF they actually like you! And a big part of picking up women is to get them to like you, isn't that right?
Finally, you DON'T have to be famous, be a certain type of ethnicity or nationality, or anything else you can think of.
Understand: Personality trumps every other obstacle you think you have to getting a girl to like you!
When you know the right way to talk to women, nothing else matters.
Unless you're currently a master pickup artist, you may not have a whole lot of success with women right away when using these tactics - after all, it takes time to practice and learn from your experiences. But if you actually apply what you've learned, you'll soon find your success with women will skyrocket!
In order to learn the quickest, you'll want to go out as often as you can - particularly when you're first starting. You don't have to go to nightclubs or other high-pressure environments to meet women, but they are great "practice grounds" because there are SO MANY women there to meet and talk to.
No matter what - if you want to get better, you need to devote some time every day to go out and pick up women. The more you do it, the better you'll get!
You probably won't have much success at first when you start going to clubs, but other people will actually start notice a change in you as your confidence goes up. Every success and failure in nightclubs will also helps to reinforce the things you need to do when you're picking up women, and the things you need to avoid.
Remember: The more experience you have, the easier it'll be.
The most important thing to remember about going out to pick up women is to gain experience!
When you're going out to pick up women and gain experience, it's important to look as good as you possibly can!
(Notice I didn't say "good looking." I said "look good." There's a difference. You can't control what you look like, but you CAN control your appearance - your hair, your tan, your clothes, etc.)
Take the time to dress as nice as you can. Find clothes that look good on you and tailor them to fit. If you're not into fashion and don't know where to start, ask a female friend who's very fashion conscious to help you find the right types of clothes.
Keep in mind - you don't NEED to dress nicely to meet women, but it will make it much easier on yourself if you do! Not only that, but the better you look, the more confident you'll feel.
Be on the lookout for opportunities to do pickup. You can find attractive women just about anywhere. And if you notice that she's given you the eye, it would almost be a sin not to start talking to her!
Remember - ever good pickup follows a very simple structure. This means there's a series of steps to picking up women you can actually repeat time and time again and get the same results.
The structure is:
Find the girl.
Meet her.
Talk and Gain Rapport.
Build Attraction.
That's it! Four simple steps. You'll find that if you're able to effectively meet women and gain rapport with them, you can build attraction quite easily.
Do you want to go out and pick up a woman tonight, but have no clue where to start?
Many guys get lots of bad advice about picking up women from their friends and family who know even LESS about how to get a girl than they do. Even so-called "Dating experts" that you see on TV usually don't know what they're talking about because they have to cater to the feminist media! (And truth be told, the mainstream media looks down on any tactic that could help guys get laid!)
Understand: Learning how to pick up women is not a politically-correct topic!
You want some practical advice that can really work, that you can start to use right away. Fortunately, you found this article. So let's get started!
Let me first tell you what you DON'T need to pick up women.
You DON'T need to look like a "male model."
This is a huge mistake that almost all men make. Little do they realize that close to 85% of women place more importance on how a man makes them FEEL as opposed to how he actually LOOKS.
So if you don't think you're a very attractive guy, don't worry! There's still hope for you.
Second, you DON'T have to spend a lot of money or drive an expensive car!
Many of the best ladies men I know never spend more than $30 on a date - heck, some of them don't even own a car! (And if they do, it usually isn't a very nice one!)
Most women don't care how much money you make or spend on them - IF they actually like you! And a big part of picking up women is to get them to like you, isn't that right?
Finally, you DON'T have to be famous, be a certain type of ethnicity or nationality, or anything else you can think of.
Understand: Personality trumps every other obstacle you think you have to getting a girl to like you!
When you know the right way to talk to women, nothing else matters.
Unless you're currently a master pickup artist, you may not have a whole lot of success with women right away when using these tactics - after all, it takes time to practice and learn from your experiences. But if you actually apply what you've learned, you'll soon find your success with women will skyrocket!
In order to learn the quickest, you'll want to go out as often as you can - particularly when you're first starting. You don't have to go to nightclubs or other high-pressure environments to meet women, but they are great "practice grounds" because there are SO MANY women there to meet and talk to.
No matter what - if you want to get better, you need to devote some time every day to go out and pick up women. The more you do it, the better you'll get!
You probably won't have much success at first when you start going to clubs, but other people will actually start notice a change in you as your confidence goes up. Every success and failure in nightclubs will also helps to reinforce the things you need to do when you're picking up women, and the things you need to avoid.
Remember: The more experience you have, the easier it'll be.
The most important thing to remember about going out to pick up women is to gain experience!
When you're going out to pick up women and gain experience, it's important to look as good as you possibly can!
(Notice I didn't say "good looking." I said "look good." There's a difference. You can't control what you look like, but you CAN control your appearance - your hair, your tan, your clothes, etc.)
Take the time to dress as nice as you can. Find clothes that look good on you and tailor them to fit. If you're not into fashion and don't know where to start, ask a female friend who's very fashion conscious to help you find the right types of clothes.
Keep in mind - you don't NEED to dress nicely to meet women, but it will make it much easier on yourself if you do! Not only that, but the better you look, the more confident you'll feel.
Be on the lookout for opportunities to do pickup. You can find attractive women just about anywhere. And if you notice that she's given you the eye, it would almost be a sin not to start talking to her!
Remember - ever good pickup follows a very simple structure. This means there's a series of steps to picking up women you can actually repeat time and time again and get the same results.
The structure is:
Find the girl.
Meet her.
Talk and Gain Rapport.
Build Attraction.
That's it! Four simple steps. You'll find that if you're able to effectively meet women and gain rapport with them, you can build attraction quite easily.
Finding A Date On A Special Interest Site
Recently, I've looked into these special interest dating sites. Now normally, I figure it's not worth my time to mess around with these sites, as I would rather not limit my choices based on a single enjoyment I might have.
An attractive friend of mine convinced me otherwise. She's an avid horse enthusiast, and was really high on site she found, full of like minded people. I was reserved about the whole thing, thinking it was going to be slim pickings.
Boy was I wrong.
Not only were there a LOT of people on there, some of the women I found were quite beautiful. I couldn't fathom the interest being that strong, or being such a great method of connecting.
I spoke with my friend more. These people are serious about this, and we started chatting how this could present great opportunities for dating.
Here are a few tips to help you out if you decide to take try a special interest dating site.
1) Make sure you ARE interested.
If you join a site for horse enthusiasts, then make sure you actually like horses. If you are just trying to make time with someone while faking an interest, it will eventually blow up.
Understand that this is a big enough deal to them that they actually joined a site for that specific reason. Many of them join those specific types of sites for those type of people.
2) Make sure you know about the group you are dealing with.
If you join a site for dating as a role playing gamer, then understand it could possibly be hard for you to get a date. It sounds crazy, but the competition is fierce and there tends to be fewer attractive women with that particular interest.
There are exceptions, of course. You might find a gold mine. But don't just assume that a group will be easy to find a date in, without checking out things with them first.
3) If you are a dilettante, brush up!
If you are dating within these groups, take the time to brush up on the respective interest. If you are going to be dating this woman, and you know she's interested in horses or the like, then you already have a topic to discuss! This should be a no brainer. Spend some time focusing on this.
4) Don't assume that they are any different than you are.
This can seem to be a bit contradicting in terms of what I wrote above. Some of them might be a bit fanatical about their interests, but all in all, they are still women. Now, I could imagine that you'll find a few strange girls who can't talk about anything else, but they are rather rare.
An example is the BDSM community. They are just like everyone else. Don't assume they aren't normal people.
These sites can be much fun, and you can find some great success in them. Just make sure you really have an interest in what they are there for, and you should have a great time. Good luck!
An attractive friend of mine convinced me otherwise. She's an avid horse enthusiast, and was really high on site she found, full of like minded people. I was reserved about the whole thing, thinking it was going to be slim pickings.
Boy was I wrong.
Not only were there a LOT of people on there, some of the women I found were quite beautiful. I couldn't fathom the interest being that strong, or being such a great method of connecting.
I spoke with my friend more. These people are serious about this, and we started chatting how this could present great opportunities for dating.
Here are a few tips to help you out if you decide to take try a special interest dating site.
1) Make sure you ARE interested.
If you join a site for horse enthusiasts, then make sure you actually like horses. If you are just trying to make time with someone while faking an interest, it will eventually blow up.
Understand that this is a big enough deal to them that they actually joined a site for that specific reason. Many of them join those specific types of sites for those type of people.
2) Make sure you know about the group you are dealing with.
If you join a site for dating as a role playing gamer, then understand it could possibly be hard for you to get a date. It sounds crazy, but the competition is fierce and there tends to be fewer attractive women with that particular interest.
There are exceptions, of course. You might find a gold mine. But don't just assume that a group will be easy to find a date in, without checking out things with them first.
3) If you are a dilettante, brush up!
If you are dating within these groups, take the time to brush up on the respective interest. If you are going to be dating this woman, and you know she's interested in horses or the like, then you already have a topic to discuss! This should be a no brainer. Spend some time focusing on this.
4) Don't assume that they are any different than you are.
This can seem to be a bit contradicting in terms of what I wrote above. Some of them might be a bit fanatical about their interests, but all in all, they are still women. Now, I could imagine that you'll find a few strange girls who can't talk about anything else, but they are rather rare.
An example is the BDSM community. They are just like everyone else. Don't assume they aren't normal people.
These sites can be much fun, and you can find some great success in them. Just make sure you really have an interest in what they are there for, and you should have a great time. Good luck!
2012年10月1日星期一
Make Every Woman Melt
How do you know if a woman wants sex? It'd be a lot easier if your girlfriend was a baboon. Unlike her shy human equivalent, the female baboon blatantly advertizes when she fancies a bit. During ovulation when she's most likely to get pregnant and feel turned on (also true for humans) - the area round her genitals turns bright red. Just in case her mate doesn't get the message, she crouches in front of him, waving her bottom in the air. While I doubt your girlfriend will wiggle her bottom so blatantly, let's be honest, she is wiggling it. And there are other signs too, albeit a little more subtle.
Secret Signs She's Ready for Sex
Her eyes seem glittery and sparkly.
Her cheeks change color, she'll blush and glow, then go pale again. Her pulse is racing.
Her facial muscles appear tight and toned. Her cheekbones seem more pronounced than usual.
There's a flush of color or slight rash on her neck, shoulders, and chest.
She's stroking her neck lots.
She's looking at your mouth loads.
She's touching her mouth and lips with her fingertips.
She's smoothing her skirt down over her hips to accentuate the curves/tucking her thumbs in the waistband of her trousers/jeans and pushing them down to show off her tummy/hiking her skirt high to show off her thighs.
Give Her Exactly what She Wants
Admit it: you love hugging the remote control for the telly. Well, now you're going to do the same with sex. Just as you switch channels to control what's on the screen, you're switching body parts to control the level of her desire. Switching sexual channels not only reduces any chance of desensitization (if touch is constantly concentrated in one area, the skin stops sending pleasure signals to the brain), it adds an element of surprise and teasing, and keeps her hovering in that almost-but-not-quite-there pre-climax zone.
Switch between four basic channels: the visual channel (pull back and drink in her body with your eyes, hold eye contact during naughty bits - watching each other is an incredible way to up the eroticism); the mouth-motivated channel (talking dirty, kissing, biting, licking); the flesh-on-flesh channel (skin-on-skin, touching-at-every-possible-point); the touch channel (gentle fingertip touch, whole-hand massage, grabbing, squeezing, inserting).
Swap between all four channels to build excitement to a peak, but watch to see which she likes the most. Then settle in to fine-tune your technique. The next session, concentrate on her favorite channel, but continue to throw in plenty of variety and varied techniques until she simply can't choose between them...
If You Really Want to Make Her Day
Make her beg for it
Push her hand away and say, ‘You can't touch me until I tell you to.’ Take off all of her clothes and leave yours on. If you're giving her oral, take regular breaks and detour back up to tongue her belly button, licking your way back down again. Then stop and ask, ‘How badly do you want me to finish?’
Make her cry - out loud
A lot of women are dreadfully quiet in the bedroom, terrified that even a moan will somehow seem ‘slutty’. (I mean, what would you think? That we're enjoying ourselves? How dreadful.) Give her permission to be vocal by encouraging her to let you know how she's feeling. Ask her to groan when she likes it and keep quiet when she doesn't. Women are natural people pleasers - you'll be the one who's blushing in front of the neighbors.
Secret Signs She's Ready for Sex
Her eyes seem glittery and sparkly.
Her cheeks change color, she'll blush and glow, then go pale again. Her pulse is racing.
Her facial muscles appear tight and toned. Her cheekbones seem more pronounced than usual.
There's a flush of color or slight rash on her neck, shoulders, and chest.
She's stroking her neck lots.
She's looking at your mouth loads.
She's touching her mouth and lips with her fingertips.
She's smoothing her skirt down over her hips to accentuate the curves/tucking her thumbs in the waistband of her trousers/jeans and pushing them down to show off her tummy/hiking her skirt high to show off her thighs.
Give Her Exactly what She Wants
Admit it: you love hugging the remote control for the telly. Well, now you're going to do the same with sex. Just as you switch channels to control what's on the screen, you're switching body parts to control the level of her desire. Switching sexual channels not only reduces any chance of desensitization (if touch is constantly concentrated in one area, the skin stops sending pleasure signals to the brain), it adds an element of surprise and teasing, and keeps her hovering in that almost-but-not-quite-there pre-climax zone.
Switch between four basic channels: the visual channel (pull back and drink in her body with your eyes, hold eye contact during naughty bits - watching each other is an incredible way to up the eroticism); the mouth-motivated channel (talking dirty, kissing, biting, licking); the flesh-on-flesh channel (skin-on-skin, touching-at-every-possible-point); the touch channel (gentle fingertip touch, whole-hand massage, grabbing, squeezing, inserting).
Swap between all four channels to build excitement to a peak, but watch to see which she likes the most. Then settle in to fine-tune your technique. The next session, concentrate on her favorite channel, but continue to throw in plenty of variety and varied techniques until she simply can't choose between them...
If You Really Want to Make Her Day
Make her beg for it
Push her hand away and say, ‘You can't touch me until I tell you to.’ Take off all of her clothes and leave yours on. If you're giving her oral, take regular breaks and detour back up to tongue her belly button, licking your way back down again. Then stop and ask, ‘How badly do you want me to finish?’
Make her cry - out loud
A lot of women are dreadfully quiet in the bedroom, terrified that even a moan will somehow seem ‘slutty’. (I mean, what would you think? That we're enjoying ourselves? How dreadful.) Give her permission to be vocal by encouraging her to let you know how she's feeling. Ask her to groan when she likes it and keep quiet when she doesn't. Women are natural people pleasers - you'll be the one who's blushing in front of the neighbors.
Why Can't Women Approach Men?
I bet this is familiar to you...
A guy stands at a bar, surveying the scene for a woman he finds attractive. He's got his drink in his hand, trying to work up enough "liquid courage" to make his move.
He sees more than a few girls he'd like to meet. Maybe even a few of them notice him and send him a few "subtle signals" to let him know it's okay to approach.
Unfortunately, most guys may not pick up on those "subtle signs" and wind up standing there, drink in hand, wondering when the courage to approach will overtake them.
Wouldn't it just be easier if the girl would approach the guy?
The answer is: YES! In a perfect world, the girl would approach the guy, and all uncertainty would be eliminated.
But this is a fairy tale. I'd say 98% of the women out there would never approach a guy - even if they find him attractive. And thinking that this is actually a POSSIBILITY is a major reason why most guys end up going home alone at the end of the night.
Here is a very simple FACT:
If you like a girl, and you're waiting around for her to approach you, you will be waiting a very, VERY long time!
Of course, this is a very frustrating reality for most men - especially shy men who desperately cling to the fantasy of a woman walking up to them and professing their undying love.
"If only it was easier!" They lament. "Why do men have to be the ones to approach women?"
To me, this question is like complaining "Why does the sky have to be blue? Why can't it be red?" The fact of the matter is this - it just is the way things are.
As to the question of WHY men have to be the ones to approach women, and not the other way around, we have to look at how our culture and tradition have shaped the way women are taught.
Historically, women have been extremely sheltered from men. A man with a daughter would want to keep her a virgin until marriage, so in order to court the girl, it was up to the man to take action because the woman would be sheltered by her father, her brothers, and any other male (and female) family members there may be.
This goes back to biblical times, where women were considered a "burden" because they could not perform hard manual labor or inherit wealth, such as sons were able to do.
Back then, if the woman was not a virgin, or worse, had a child out of wedlock, she was considered unworthy for marriage. That left the father caring for her the rest of his life.
Not exactly the ideal situation for the father, so as you can see, there was ample reason to keep his daughters "sheltered."
As time went on, and women became less sheltered, there was still a stigma attached to women who were too "forward." Women don't want to be shamed by being called a "slut" or a "tramp," so from a social perspective, women approaching men was always a big no-no. This doesn't stop women for letting their interest be KNOWN, but it does keep some of them from being too forward with their desires.
In the 80s, this was reversed for a while and feminist the world over said it was okay for a woman to ask a man out. However, once women saw how much it sucked to ask someone out and get rejected, they just stopped doing it. There's a reason that trend never caught on.
Unfortunately, though women seemed to come to their senses, due to the media exposure over the trend, I don't think many men caught onto the idea that women decided not to peruse this type of courtship. So now, we have a situation where it is okay for a "modern woman" to ask a man out. But just because it's okay to do something, doesn't mean people will do it.
Every time a guy comes to me and wants to understand why he has to be the one to approach a woman, I tell him to read the book "The Rules." It's basically a "pick up guide for women." But it has some very interesting psychology in it that men can learn a lot from. (I know that reading this book personally helped me understand a lot about the way women think!)
Basically, according to this book, a woman feels that if a man doesn't approach her, he's not attracted to her. So it's just easier to deal with the guys who approach because then they can decide whether or not they like them. After all, it's always preferable to go for a sure thing, right?
However, who are most of the guys who have no problem approaching women? Jerks and butt-holes! That's why most women have poor opinions about men, because the good ones are too scared or shy to approach, giving free reign to the self-absorbed morons who give our gender a bad name.
So if you look at it from a woman's perspective, allowing men to approach them is a preferable position to be in.
But let me say this - having the responsibility to approach women is actually a GOOD thing from a guy's perspective as well.
Sure, rejection and uncertainty suck. But we get to choose who we approach and only go after women we like. These poor girls who have to stand around and wait to be approached get losers walking up to them every day, using cheesy pickup lines and doing stupid things to try and impress them. If you were in their position, you'd probably get sick of it too.
This is one of the reasons I focus on approaching so much. Knowing how to effectively approach women really does empower you. It gives you ultimate choice in your love life.
Waiting for a woman to approach you is like waiting for Godot. It ain't never gonna happen. And if it does, the woman is either a "professional" or she'll most likely cheat on you the first chance she gets and break your heart.
That's just the way it goes. But instead of hating things the way they are, accept them and use them to your advantage! It's much easier than despairing about it and wishing things were different.
When you find yourself at a bar, drink in hand, remember that the choice is yours. Be GLAD you have that choice yourself, and have fun with it.
Meeting women doesn't have to be a chore. In fact, it SHOULDN'T be! It needs to be an enjoyable process. And the sooner you stop hating things "the way they are" and accept things as "the way they need to be," you can start having more fun and much more success in your love life.
A guy stands at a bar, surveying the scene for a woman he finds attractive. He's got his drink in his hand, trying to work up enough "liquid courage" to make his move.
He sees more than a few girls he'd like to meet. Maybe even a few of them notice him and send him a few "subtle signals" to let him know it's okay to approach.
Unfortunately, most guys may not pick up on those "subtle signs" and wind up standing there, drink in hand, wondering when the courage to approach will overtake them.
Wouldn't it just be easier if the girl would approach the guy?
The answer is: YES! In a perfect world, the girl would approach the guy, and all uncertainty would be eliminated.
But this is a fairy tale. I'd say 98% of the women out there would never approach a guy - even if they find him attractive. And thinking that this is actually a POSSIBILITY is a major reason why most guys end up going home alone at the end of the night.
Here is a very simple FACT:
If you like a girl, and you're waiting around for her to approach you, you will be waiting a very, VERY long time!
Of course, this is a very frustrating reality for most men - especially shy men who desperately cling to the fantasy of a woman walking up to them and professing their undying love.
"If only it was easier!" They lament. "Why do men have to be the ones to approach women?"
To me, this question is like complaining "Why does the sky have to be blue? Why can't it be red?" The fact of the matter is this - it just is the way things are.
As to the question of WHY men have to be the ones to approach women, and not the other way around, we have to look at how our culture and tradition have shaped the way women are taught.
Historically, women have been extremely sheltered from men. A man with a daughter would want to keep her a virgin until marriage, so in order to court the girl, it was up to the man to take action because the woman would be sheltered by her father, her brothers, and any other male (and female) family members there may be.
This goes back to biblical times, where women were considered a "burden" because they could not perform hard manual labor or inherit wealth, such as sons were able to do.
Back then, if the woman was not a virgin, or worse, had a child out of wedlock, she was considered unworthy for marriage. That left the father caring for her the rest of his life.
Not exactly the ideal situation for the father, so as you can see, there was ample reason to keep his daughters "sheltered."
As time went on, and women became less sheltered, there was still a stigma attached to women who were too "forward." Women don't want to be shamed by being called a "slut" or a "tramp," so from a social perspective, women approaching men was always a big no-no. This doesn't stop women for letting their interest be KNOWN, but it does keep some of them from being too forward with their desires.
In the 80s, this was reversed for a while and feminist the world over said it was okay for a woman to ask a man out. However, once women saw how much it sucked to ask someone out and get rejected, they just stopped doing it. There's a reason that trend never caught on.
Unfortunately, though women seemed to come to their senses, due to the media exposure over the trend, I don't think many men caught onto the idea that women decided not to peruse this type of courtship. So now, we have a situation where it is okay for a "modern woman" to ask a man out. But just because it's okay to do something, doesn't mean people will do it.
Every time a guy comes to me and wants to understand why he has to be the one to approach a woman, I tell him to read the book "The Rules." It's basically a "pick up guide for women." But it has some very interesting psychology in it that men can learn a lot from. (I know that reading this book personally helped me understand a lot about the way women think!)
Basically, according to this book, a woman feels that if a man doesn't approach her, he's not attracted to her. So it's just easier to deal with the guys who approach because then they can decide whether or not they like them. After all, it's always preferable to go for a sure thing, right?
However, who are most of the guys who have no problem approaching women? Jerks and butt-holes! That's why most women have poor opinions about men, because the good ones are too scared or shy to approach, giving free reign to the self-absorbed morons who give our gender a bad name.
So if you look at it from a woman's perspective, allowing men to approach them is a preferable position to be in.
But let me say this - having the responsibility to approach women is actually a GOOD thing from a guy's perspective as well.
Sure, rejection and uncertainty suck. But we get to choose who we approach and only go after women we like. These poor girls who have to stand around and wait to be approached get losers walking up to them every day, using cheesy pickup lines and doing stupid things to try and impress them. If you were in their position, you'd probably get sick of it too.
This is one of the reasons I focus on approaching so much. Knowing how to effectively approach women really does empower you. It gives you ultimate choice in your love life.
Waiting for a woman to approach you is like waiting for Godot. It ain't never gonna happen. And if it does, the woman is either a "professional" or she'll most likely cheat on you the first chance she gets and break your heart.
That's just the way it goes. But instead of hating things the way they are, accept them and use them to your advantage! It's much easier than despairing about it and wishing things were different.
When you find yourself at a bar, drink in hand, remember that the choice is yours. Be GLAD you have that choice yourself, and have fun with it.
Meeting women doesn't have to be a chore. In fact, it SHOULDN'T be! It needs to be an enjoyable process. And the sooner you stop hating things "the way they are" and accept things as "the way they need to be," you can start having more fun and much more success in your love life.
Dating Tips for Disabled Singles
Although dating for disabled is a new phenomenon, it is fast catching up among online daters, especially among disabled singles. The other day my colleague, Suzzane, informed me that she has found her soul mate in such a dating site. Suzzane is a paralytic after an unfortunate accident. I can see the glow in her face these days. Really the strength of love, to be loved by someone and to have someone special in our life in what we all aspire for and when we get that, life changes only for betterment.
There are many disabled singles like Suzzane who must be giving silent thanks to disabled dating sites. However, with so many online dating sites available, it’s really confusing on how to choose a good site which provides the maximum benefits. Let’s discuss a few tips which will help you zeroing out your preferred dating for disabled site.
• Watch out if the dating for disabled site offers free trial membership or not. Though it will give you a limited access, you can have a better idea of their services. It’s a good idea to start with free membership, if you are satisfied with their dating service, you can opt for a premium membership later.
• There are many disabled singles sites which offer dates on different categories such as religion, locality wise, sexual preference, or on common interest. These categories help you narrow down your preferred choice date options.
• Before choosing a disabled singles site, it’s very important to look out what are the services the site has to offer. Check out if the site has email, instant messaging, private chat, community chat, audio introductions, blogs, interactive magazines services or not.
• Security aspect is another thing which you should strongly check while choosing a dating for disabled site. Verify if the site has secure software installed or not, so that the personal details can’t be revealed without your permission.
• You should also judge the popularity of the dating site by checking the number of memberships. More preferably, check out the local number of membership which will give you an option to meet potential dates around your area.
• While chatting for the first time on the dating site, many disabled singles have initial level of inhibition. If you want, you can choose to remain anonymous. In that way your identity will not be revealed to anyone and you can get rid of your initial level of awkwardness.
Dating for disabled has brought a new lease of life among disabled men and women. They have been able to forget their troubling past and today, they are able to have fun, interact socially and most importantly hope to meet someone special on these dating sites.
There are many disabled singles like Suzzane who must be giving silent thanks to disabled dating sites. However, with so many online dating sites available, it’s really confusing on how to choose a good site which provides the maximum benefits. Let’s discuss a few tips which will help you zeroing out your preferred dating for disabled site.
• Watch out if the dating for disabled site offers free trial membership or not. Though it will give you a limited access, you can have a better idea of their services. It’s a good idea to start with free membership, if you are satisfied with their dating service, you can opt for a premium membership later.
• There are many disabled singles sites which offer dates on different categories such as religion, locality wise, sexual preference, or on common interest. These categories help you narrow down your preferred choice date options.
• Before choosing a disabled singles site, it’s very important to look out what are the services the site has to offer. Check out if the site has email, instant messaging, private chat, community chat, audio introductions, blogs, interactive magazines services or not.
• Security aspect is another thing which you should strongly check while choosing a dating for disabled site. Verify if the site has secure software installed or not, so that the personal details can’t be revealed without your permission.
• You should also judge the popularity of the dating site by checking the number of memberships. More preferably, check out the local number of membership which will give you an option to meet potential dates around your area.
• While chatting for the first time on the dating site, many disabled singles have initial level of inhibition. If you want, you can choose to remain anonymous. In that way your identity will not be revealed to anyone and you can get rid of your initial level of awkwardness.
Dating for disabled has brought a new lease of life among disabled men and women. They have been able to forget their troubling past and today, they are able to have fun, interact socially and most importantly hope to meet someone special on these dating sites.
A Man's Way To Overcome Shyness
One of the hardest emotions for a man to deal with isn't anger, sadness, or depression. It's SHYNESS.
Shyness is the gateway to all the negative emotions I just listed, because shyness is the one thing that actually works to IMPEDE us from achieving what we desire.
When a man gives into his shyness, he doesn't talk to the women he likes. He doesn't take a chance on making a new friend. He doesn't do ANYTHING. He just sits by himself, wallowing in self-pity and fear.
And before he knows it, his feelings of loneliness and inadequacy become overwhelming, and he becomes depressed.
All because he is shy.
So why does this happen? Why are some men so prone to give into their shyness?
First, realize that shyness is a behavior that stems from what MIGHT happen.
Let's say you see a girl you like, and want to talk to. But before you can, all sorts of scenarios flash through your mind...
You can see her rejecting you.
You can see her laughing at you.
You can see yourself being upset after saying the wrong thing to her.
As I said - ANY NUMBER of possibilities exist. And even if we're aware of it or not, these possibilities run through our minds when we feel the need to take action regarding a girl.
Shyness is a mental construct that is designed to protect us from bad outcomes. Ironically, it leads to us experiencing worse outcomes at times!.
But the problem is that if we don't risk the bad outcomes, we'll never get any GOOD outcomes either!
At it's core, shyness is the fear of being judged harshly. Someone who's shy doesn't want to be subjected to the opinions of others, typically because:
1. They believe those opinions will always be negative
and
2. They do not have a strong sense of self esteem, and feel vulnerable.
And it's even worse when dealing with a beautiful girl because there's the element of "sexual validation" at play. If a beautiful girl rejects us, not only is it a harsh judgment, but we must also be UGLY too, right?
And to make matters worse, shyness in men is far more crippling than shyness in women.
A shy woman will still have men approaching and pursuing her. However, because of the dynamics of the dating game, shy men will rarely, if EVER, be pursued by a woman - even if the woman LIKES him and is attracted to him!
Shy guys often fantasize about having a woman come up to them and ask them out. But this is just a way to rationalize their shyness. In their mind, they're hoping to be the one that is pursued because then they don't have to risk anything by being the pursuer.
However, this is never the case. 99% of women wait for the men to come after THEM.
Essentially, you have shy guys isolating themselves from success in love, not only due to their inability to act, but also due to their contentedness to continue being shy.
So what's the solution?
The only way to break through shyness is to adopt different behaviors and thought patterns that promote a better outcome.
One must learn to gain confidence in himself, so that he is not vulnerable to the judgment of others for his self esteem.
One must learn to take action when necessary, and seize opportunities as they present themselves.
You have to learn to see the positive as well as the negative, and work towards the positive outcomes that you can effect.
This won't be instant, but the time you put into overcoming your shyness is well worth the effort. You'll feel like you have more freedom, and there is the possibility that you've met the woman of your dreams. And that's something to look forward to.
Shyness is the gateway to all the negative emotions I just listed, because shyness is the one thing that actually works to IMPEDE us from achieving what we desire.
When a man gives into his shyness, he doesn't talk to the women he likes. He doesn't take a chance on making a new friend. He doesn't do ANYTHING. He just sits by himself, wallowing in self-pity and fear.
And before he knows it, his feelings of loneliness and inadequacy become overwhelming, and he becomes depressed.
All because he is shy.
So why does this happen? Why are some men so prone to give into their shyness?
First, realize that shyness is a behavior that stems from what MIGHT happen.
Let's say you see a girl you like, and want to talk to. But before you can, all sorts of scenarios flash through your mind...
You can see her rejecting you.
You can see her laughing at you.
You can see yourself being upset after saying the wrong thing to her.
As I said - ANY NUMBER of possibilities exist. And even if we're aware of it or not, these possibilities run through our minds when we feel the need to take action regarding a girl.
Shyness is a mental construct that is designed to protect us from bad outcomes. Ironically, it leads to us experiencing worse outcomes at times!.
But the problem is that if we don't risk the bad outcomes, we'll never get any GOOD outcomes either!
At it's core, shyness is the fear of being judged harshly. Someone who's shy doesn't want to be subjected to the opinions of others, typically because:
1. They believe those opinions will always be negative
and
2. They do not have a strong sense of self esteem, and feel vulnerable.
And it's even worse when dealing with a beautiful girl because there's the element of "sexual validation" at play. If a beautiful girl rejects us, not only is it a harsh judgment, but we must also be UGLY too, right?
And to make matters worse, shyness in men is far more crippling than shyness in women.
A shy woman will still have men approaching and pursuing her. However, because of the dynamics of the dating game, shy men will rarely, if EVER, be pursued by a woman - even if the woman LIKES him and is attracted to him!
Shy guys often fantasize about having a woman come up to them and ask them out. But this is just a way to rationalize their shyness. In their mind, they're hoping to be the one that is pursued because then they don't have to risk anything by being the pursuer.
However, this is never the case. 99% of women wait for the men to come after THEM.
Essentially, you have shy guys isolating themselves from success in love, not only due to their inability to act, but also due to their contentedness to continue being shy.
So what's the solution?
The only way to break through shyness is to adopt different behaviors and thought patterns that promote a better outcome.
One must learn to gain confidence in himself, so that he is not vulnerable to the judgment of others for his self esteem.
One must learn to take action when necessary, and seize opportunities as they present themselves.
You have to learn to see the positive as well as the negative, and work towards the positive outcomes that you can effect.
This won't be instant, but the time you put into overcoming your shyness is well worth the effort. You'll feel like you have more freedom, and there is the possibility that you've met the woman of your dreams. And that's something to look forward to.
2012年9月30日星期日
The Secret of Getting Back Together with Your Ex
When you’ve been through a painful breakup you’re probably looking for a lot of answers. Some people will tell you that you need professional help and send you off to a therapist. For many people that may be a good course of action. But different people need different things and I can tell you what I would always recommend as the very first thing you should do if you want to stand any chance of getting back with your ex.
Keep your distance.
That’s right; even though your every instinct is telling you to stay close in case you miss your chance, even though the pain only seems bearable if you know you’re going to keep seeing him in the hope of reconciliation, do the other thing.
This may seem very scary and it may make you feel even lonelier but in the long-term it makes sense. Many more couples get back together if they give themselves a cooling off period than if they plunge straight into the process of talking, listening, thinking and, in the end, arguing all over again.
For yourself, this separation will give you space to breathe and to look at your life fresh. You might find that your priorities have subtly changed. For him, there’s a good chance that this sudden, total separation will shock him into realizing just what he’s lost: you.
Imagine him – like you – trying to come to terms with being single. Unless it’s what he really wants, unless he really has no feelings for you left, then it’s going to drive him a little crazy. And that’s enough to convince him that he wants you back.
But in the meantime you’ll have given yourself a new start as you rediscover all the other good things in your life, like your friends and family for a start. Whatever ultimately happens to your relationship at least you’ll walk away with something good to show.
Take a month off. It’s golden time. It might work wonders.
Keep your distance.
That’s right; even though your every instinct is telling you to stay close in case you miss your chance, even though the pain only seems bearable if you know you’re going to keep seeing him in the hope of reconciliation, do the other thing.
This may seem very scary and it may make you feel even lonelier but in the long-term it makes sense. Many more couples get back together if they give themselves a cooling off period than if they plunge straight into the process of talking, listening, thinking and, in the end, arguing all over again.
For yourself, this separation will give you space to breathe and to look at your life fresh. You might find that your priorities have subtly changed. For him, there’s a good chance that this sudden, total separation will shock him into realizing just what he’s lost: you.
Imagine him – like you – trying to come to terms with being single. Unless it’s what he really wants, unless he really has no feelings for you left, then it’s going to drive him a little crazy. And that’s enough to convince him that he wants you back.
But in the meantime you’ll have given yourself a new start as you rediscover all the other good things in your life, like your friends and family for a start. Whatever ultimately happens to your relationship at least you’ll walk away with something good to show.
Take a month off. It’s golden time. It might work wonders.
The Body Language Of Flirting, Part 5
In the last article of this series, I let you know just how important of a role your gestures play in flirting.
In this article, I'll show you how your facial expressions play another important role in your flirting endeavors.
Now when most people think of facial expressions they usually conjure up images of Jim Carrey making a silly face, or some other comedian perhaps.
Believe it or not, the facial expressions we display take on a powerful role in what we signal to the other person. And conversely, how they see us as well!
Understand the importance here - the look on your face can be very off putting, and it will have NOTHING to do with your actual looks. If you scowl naturally, or come across as "expressionless", you can scare others away.
It's always a good idea to take time to understand yourself. Look in the mirror. Get a handle on your natural expressions, and see how those can be of advantage (or disadvantage) to you.
Here are some important expressions in which to focus upon for now, similar to the gestures I wrote about last time.
A great example of facial expression that is well known is an eyebrow raise. Someone from across a room can raise their eyebrow, very quickly, to acknowledge another person. It is like saying "Hello!" when you can't verbally.
You can try this with a stranger. It seems like it would be awkward, but actually, the idea is to create some confusion on their part. They'll be wondering who you are!
It creates an opportunity to enter into conversation, but beware. It can backfire and end things before you can even begin.
If the person you do this with finds you attractive, it generally will work, however. It will probably be evident in their facial expression.
The big issue here, and one that most men run into, is that facial expressions are the most common way that someone expresses deceit when it comes to conversation. We look at each other's faces most of the time, so it's evident that is the first place we try to hide our feelings at.
Manufactured expressions, like a social smile, or a blank expression, can hide our true feelings, but there are still some signs that give us away.
In the next part, I'll continue with facial expressions and show you not only WHY someone would give out false ones, but also HOW to use them to our advantage!
In this article, I'll show you how your facial expressions play another important role in your flirting endeavors.
Now when most people think of facial expressions they usually conjure up images of Jim Carrey making a silly face, or some other comedian perhaps.
Believe it or not, the facial expressions we display take on a powerful role in what we signal to the other person. And conversely, how they see us as well!
Understand the importance here - the look on your face can be very off putting, and it will have NOTHING to do with your actual looks. If you scowl naturally, or come across as "expressionless", you can scare others away.
It's always a good idea to take time to understand yourself. Look in the mirror. Get a handle on your natural expressions, and see how those can be of advantage (or disadvantage) to you.
Here are some important expressions in which to focus upon for now, similar to the gestures I wrote about last time.
A great example of facial expression that is well known is an eyebrow raise. Someone from across a room can raise their eyebrow, very quickly, to acknowledge another person. It is like saying "Hello!" when you can't verbally.
You can try this with a stranger. It seems like it would be awkward, but actually, the idea is to create some confusion on their part. They'll be wondering who you are!
It creates an opportunity to enter into conversation, but beware. It can backfire and end things before you can even begin.
If the person you do this with finds you attractive, it generally will work, however. It will probably be evident in their facial expression.
The big issue here, and one that most men run into, is that facial expressions are the most common way that someone expresses deceit when it comes to conversation. We look at each other's faces most of the time, so it's evident that is the first place we try to hide our feelings at.
Manufactured expressions, like a social smile, or a blank expression, can hide our true feelings, but there are still some signs that give us away.
In the next part, I'll continue with facial expressions and show you not only WHY someone would give out false ones, but also HOW to use them to our advantage!
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