Gifts, trips, kisses, hugs, and above all, promises are loaded with good intentions: reconciliations are very romantic in the early days and everything seems to go smoothly. But over time, problems tend to come back. How to make a second chance to work?
Are you thinking of taking a revenge on your partner? It's time to put our feet on the ground and stick to what you know: There are golden rules that you must respect if you want something that has hope of survival. The number one, experts say, is that people do not change personality, but may change some attitudes.
If it bothers you that it was his mess, keep in mind that tries to order a little more, but will remain chaotic. If it disturbs you it is not monitored and you understand your interests, keep in mind that it will make it impossible not to bad when you're with your friends, but remain dissatisfied. If you're a womanizer, it may contain for you, but will remain very fond of girls.
"The couples that come back, spend a honeymoon period, which put the best of themselves. But, although both do the impossible to change, the problems will not disappear " said Dr. Wendy Allen, an expert in Marriage and couple therapist.
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A common mistake, says Allen, is the belief that the other has to be a soul mate, a mirror to look at. But to reconciliation, we must first know that the other is different, and, with their strengths and weaknesses, is another person whose differences we must respect. "Although the themes of romantic spirits speak, there is no such thing," says the doctor. "The second time when we are successful are encouraged to live as independent individuals."
So you know the rule number one is to be realistic. If you come back, bear in mind that you return with the same person, with that that it always comes out with their buddies or had a little slip that broke your soul. To forgive is to accept.
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