When youve been through a painful breakup youre probably looking for a lot of answers. Some people will tell you that you need professional help and send you off to a therapist. For many people that may be a good course of action. But different people need different things and I can tell you what I would always recommend as the very first thing you should do if you want to stand any chance of getting back with your ex.
Keep your distance.
Thats right; even though your every instinct is telling you to stay close in case you miss your chance, even though the pain only seems bearable if you know youre going to keep seeing him in the hope of reconciliation, do the other thing.
This may seem very scary and it may make you feel even lonelier but in the long-term it makes sense. Many more couples get back together if they give themselves a cooling off period than if they plunge straight into the process of talking, listening, thinking and, in the end, arguing all over again.
For yourself, this separation will give you space to breathe and to look at your life fresh. You might find that your priorities have subtly changed. For him, theres a good chance that this sudden, total separation will shock him into realizing just what hes lost: you.
Imagine him like you trying to come to terms with being single. Unless its what he really wants, unless he really has no feelings for you left, then its going to drive him a little crazy. And thats enough to convince him that he wants you back.
But in the meantime youll have given yourself a new start as you rediscover all the other good things in your life, like your friends and family for a start. Whatever ultimately happens to your relationship at least youll walk away with something good to show.
Take a month off. Its golden time. It might work wonders.
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