The Things That Broke You Up and How to Fix Them

Serious relationships fail for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes there will be a gradual cooling off, sometimes a temporary estrangement and at other times an apparently irreconcilable rift. If you want a second chance then you need to take a cold hard look at what really caused the breakup. It may not be pleasant but this is the time for honesty and in the end… can only be positive.

One very common cause is infidelity. If your ex dumped you for this reason then it’s a pretty safe bet that you were the guilty party. What you’ve done is a very serious transgression.

Relationships can be rebuilt after an episode like this but it takes time so be prepared for a long haul. The love is still there but one thing that will take a great deal longer to repair is trust. It won’t be pleasant or easy but keep that in mind and you may be able to salvage even this grim situation.

Another common cause is one partner trying to control the other. Everybody jokes about control freaks and we see them in all walks of life. But nobody wants them in their love life. If the one you’re with wants to control what you do, how you act, where you go, even what you think, then it’s a clear sign that either they don’t trust you, or don’t respect you or don’t even like you the way you are. If you’ve behaved like this, you need to admit it to yourself and to him and promise both of you that you’ll change. Love him for who he is, not for who you’re mistakenly trying to turn him into.

Finally, partners will often abandon a relationship because they themselves feel abandoned, emotionally. An important part of any serious relationship is the emotional support that you give each other. Don’t underestimate how much your partner needs and values this. Everyone is an individual – don’t judge his demands by your own and respect his emotional needs for what they are.