Drunk Dialing – The Mistake You Can’t Afford to Make

We can all be forgiven for the clouded judgment we often exercise in the immediate aftermath of a serious breakup. The shock, pain, anger and confusion can stop us from making normal rational decisions and tempt us to make reactive decisions fuelled by raw emotions without any of the common sense we would normally use.

Some of the mistakes we make are minor and are of little or no consequence. But some of them can seriously damage our chances of ever rescuing a relationship that we value very highly but which somehow went off the rails. In those early days after the breakup, you must avoid at all costs the dreadful temptation of “drunk dialing”.

So what is “drunk dialing”? You can probably guess. You’ve just seen an intimate relationship collapse in a barrage of misunderstanding, anger, hurt and recrimination. You’ve never felt so alone. You need something to dull the pain. And so often that something will be a drink. Just one, you tell yourself. But it feels good, so you think another will be better. It won’t be long before the alcohol has taken a strong enough hold to play its own insidious part in the destruction of your reason.

Suddenly what you want to do more than anything is call your ex. The answer to all your problems is to get him back. So you call him, you say things, promise things, confess things, and start to plead. Your voice is slurred, your thoughts aren’t clear. And what’s worse…he can tell. Is this really the kind of person he wants to have back as his girlfriend? Is this the kind of awkward scene he would welcome? So make sure you never give in to this temptation. It feels so easy, but its consequences could be dire.

You need to find other ways to relieve your pain because drinking will only deepen and prolong it. You need to get active. Take exercise, find hobbies, go out with friends, and maybe even try dating again. You’ll feel better, you’ll look better, and life will seem like something you can handle again and you won’t have accidentally destroyed your ex’s respect for you.

3 Guidelines to Help You Win Your Ex Back

As hard as it is to get back outside and in the game of dating after a breakup, it can be even harder when your goal is to win your ex back. Putting yourself back in front of your ex is like getting behind the wheel of a car after a bad accident: difficult but worth it. Of course there are some rules or guidelines you should follow when attempting to get your ex back. Basically there are dos and don’ts that will be the determining factor on if you get your ex back and how easy it is. (Though keep in mind many situations are different, it’s just easier than it would be if you do things right after a breakup.)

First: Communication or contact. Too much of a good thing can be bad, right? I’m sure you’ve heard that somewhere. Communication is good but if your ex has asked for some space, you better give him/her space. Continuously contacting your ex after a breakup makes you appear clingy and desperate. Constant contact with your ex will make tensions between you two high and will likely ruin any chances of working out differences and getting back together.

Second: Date. Honestly it’s okay to go out on a few dates after a breakup. One, it shows you’re ready to be with people again and two, it will give you the confidence you once had before. Just because you start dating some other people doesn’t mean you’re giving up all hope on getting back with your ex. It will actually show you have a bit of independence that your ex just might like.

Third: Expecting too much. Your ex has obviously figured that the only way to solve whatever problem existed between the two of you was to cut off said relationship. If you don’t like this, you have to provide another solution. Yes, the load is on your shoulders but remember you want to get back your ex.