Approaching Women: A Guide For Shy Guys

For a shy guy to meet women, it can be very difficult.

In fact, this is no small feat for most guys, but even more so for the guy who considers himself to be "shy."

I'd even argue that shy guys tend to get the short-end-of-the-stick, so to speak, when it comes to women and relationships in general!

The reason for this is that if a girl is shy, she can still have guys coming up and approaching her, and eventually find a boyfriend. However, your average shy guy isn't going to get women coming his way anytime soon.

It's the sad reality of men is that we are the ones destined to be the pursuers. Women won't approach us, we have to be the ones to walk up to THEM and do all the work.

If we don't approach, we don't get the girl.

Sucks, right?

And sadly - shy guys just don't approach women! And because of this, they tend to end up alone and desperate most of the time.

Well, don't worry too much. Approaching women isn't as hard as you might think - ESPECIALLY if you're dealing with shyness. You just need to follow a few simple tips, and before you know it, you'll be dealing with more women than you can handle.

1. Memorize A Few Good Pick Up Lines

One of the biggest reasons why shy guys don't approach a woman is because their brain FREEZES and they can't think of anything to say.

It's tough spinning some smooth lines off on the spot. Hence, it's a great idea to have a line you can use that you know will work. That way, you don't get caught "thinking" on the spot.

Pick up lines get a bad rap, because we always hear the BAD ones. You know, the kind like "I lost my number, can I have yours?" "Did you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them?" and of course, the always popular "Why don't you come back to my place for pizza and sex. What? You don't like pizza?"

Some still use them though, and they are terrible. And get terrible results.

A good pick up line is simply something that engages a girl and gets her TALKING to you. Once you get a conversation going, you can take it pretty much anywhere you want.

Using a line like "Hey, in your opinion, would you ever want to date a guy who spends three hours a day in the gym?" is much more effective than any of the bad pick up lines you hear.

It may seem like a random question, but you're asking her about a genuine opinion she might have, and of course, this conversation can lead to talking about past relationships, guys she's dated, and what she finds attractive in guys (all good information to know, right?).

A good pickup line doesn't have to wow the girl. It just needs to get her talking. But try and stay away from chatting about World Of Warcraft and your Star Trek DVD Box Set. Save that convo for the third date.

2. Utilize The Power Of Negative Visualization

A big reason shy guys balk at meeting a girl is because they are too "intimidated" by her beauty. It makes them nervous or scared to approach.

That's why I recommend you use the power of "negative" visualization to make that hot chick seem less desirable!

Imagine her with really hairy legs, a moustache, a huge boil on her nose, and really bad body odor.

Not so appealing anymore, right?

When a shy guy is able to turn his attraction level for a woman down a few notches, it helps him to find the courage to approach her, because suddenly, she's not so intimidating anymore.

This can really help you to relax, and maybe even have a little bit of fun! And that's never a bad thing.

3. Have Some Interesting Stories To Tell

The hardest part about meeting new women is not having anything fun or interesting to talk to them about!

An awkward pause in the conversation can mean DEATH for the interaction. And most shy guys will let an opportunity to meet a girl pass them by because of the excuse "I don't know what to talk to her about."

But the dirty little secret of approaching women is that you don't NEED much to talk about with them. If you have just a few interesting stories to tell, you're good. The rest of the time, you can just ask her questions and let her talk about herself.

The stories don't even have to be about you! They can be about a friend of yours, or about a news story you saw. It doesn't matter, as long as you have some fun and entertaining stuff you know you can talk about with a girl when there is a lull in the conversation.

This will help you avoid any awkwardness you may feel when approaching a woman.

4. Don't Think About It - Just Do It!

If given enough time to think about it, a shy guy will talk himself out of approaching a girl. The trick is to act before your brain has time to rationalize an excuse not to approach.

Before three seconds are up, you should say "Hi!"

Just say it. "Hi". Act then and there.

Odds are she'll say "Hi" back, and when she does, use your pick up line. Congratulations, you've started a conversation!

Shyness is caused by allowing your brain to visualize all the bad outcomes of an interaction with a girl. Don't give it the chance! Pull a Nike, and just do it.

5. Utilize Online Dating

Finally, shy guys should be using the internet to help them meet women. This actually serves two purposes...

First off, it helps shy guys meet women without actually having to talk to them at first, so there is enough time to build up some trust and comfort there. By the time the first date rolls around, most of the hard work has been done!

Secondly, going online can give you OPTIONS. Typically, shy guys don't have a lot of women available to them, so they place a great deal of importance on each girl they like.

But if you have 5-10 women emailing you, all wanting to meet up, this will give you an ABUNDANCE mentality, and make it easier to approach women in real life because you know if it doesn't work out, you still have lots of other girls wanting to meet you.

This is a HUGE psychological benefit!

We learn to be shy. It's not inherent. So with some practice, we can learn to be not shy. It takes effort, but you'll improve quickly.

Before you know it, your shyness will be a thing of the past.