Sometimes, something great is right there in our lives, and yet we fail to see it until it's gone. In some cases, this thing is a she, in the form of an old flame.
It can be a difficult thing when the girl you love decides its "just not working for her" and moves on. When this happens, the guy really only has two choices...
1. Move on and find a new girl
2. Try and recover the girl he lost
Certainly, the better option is the first one, since people usually break up for a reason. Trying to convince someone who doesn't want to be with you that they should be is an uphill battle, and one where you most likely will lose.
But that doesn't stop us from trying, does it? Because typically, the first thing a guy does after he gets dumped (and after moping around a bit) is try to figure out how to get back the girl who dumped him.
Sometimes, break ups are a good thing. But sometimes, they happen because of reasons that could have been fixed or avoided all together.
If you are going to win her back, you'll have to find out what killed the relationship to begin with. Most of the time, it has to do with not communicating, or a loss of trust between you and her.
More often than not, when there is a situation that arises from communication, she'll feel neglected or ignored. It's going to be frustrating to her, as she'll feel like she's not really being listened to.
When it's a loss of trust, it's because her partner usually displayed some type of behavior that makes her doubt her love for him. It might be cheating on her with another woman (or suspicions of cheating), or lying and deceiving her in some way.
When this happens, intimacy can be lost, and the girl will feel the need to move on.
So after you figure out what caused the break up, you'll need to understand WHY. So if you determine she was feeling neglected by you, you need to figure out why you were neglecting her (or at least why she felt you were!).
Then you need to let her know that you understand why she broke up with you. This is probably one of the hardest things for guys to do, because it seems like you're accepting the blame for messing things up - but its important that women understand you know why they broke up with you, because is shows that you are paying attention to their side of things.
Once you make it clear you understand her side of things, and what caused her to break up with you, you are clearing the way for you to re-build intimacy with her.
When this happens, you'll want to start reminding her why she got into a relationship with you in the first place. Be the charming guy you were when you first met her. Talk about your past dates, your good times together. Focus on all the happy moments the two of you shared.
Try and re-kindle what got her attracted to you in the first place, and nurture that. Don't be too aggressive, but remind her how great of a guy you are.
After some period of warming up, you'll need to make a move. Hopefully, she'll have remembered why you two were together to begin with. Bring up the idea of getting back together. She'll be hesitant but you'll need to impress on her that things WILL be different, and you'll focus more on her happiness this time around.
It's important to remember that you can't push a girl into getting back together with you. The best you can do is make your intentions clear and give her an opportunity to take you up on your offer. This is the best way I know of to get an ex-girlfriend back.
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