Are You Afraid To Approach Girls?

If you want to do well with women, you'll need to be comfortable with yourself. By doing so, you can be more aggressive, bold, and confident around women, and set yourself apart from most guys. And it's a lot more fun.

A strange thing though, is that some guys have a fear that keeps them from approaching women. It's strange for me, as I don't deal with it myself. But a lot of men do.

They feel like they're being judged.

But not by women, mind you. They feel like they're being judged by those around them. They are so afraid of failing with a woman and looking like a fool to the people in their environment, that this actually keeps them from talking to women!

Some guys are afraid that the Bouncer at the club is watching him crash and burn. Others are afraid a group of frat boys at the bar is gonna make fun of them. Still others are worried what a bartender may think. Some even go so far as to accuse their friends as being the ones that will never let him live down a bad approach.

So my real question to this is: Why do you care?

Part of being confident is NOT CARING what other people think of you. Who is the Bouncer? Or the Bartender? Or the Frat Boys? Who are they to you? The answer should be - NO ONE. The only person who's opinion of you should matter is that of yourself. After all, you decide your own self-worth. Not others.

But that's a trap many guys fall into. They are too insecure to be comfortable in their own skin, so they get their self-worth from the opinions of others - even people they don't know and probably will never see again! This is especially true when it comes to women. Men who have a low sense of self often get validation from being successful with a woman. They think if the woman likes me, then I MUST be special! I must be worthwhile! I must have value!

That's the problem, as it is this idea that makes success elude them. They are afraid of others' opinions. So much so that they'll forgo their happiness so they can avoid being judged this way.

There is a way around this. It's a simple concept, but a powerful one. It is this

Don't allow yourself to feel their judgment.

When you do not allow yourself to be judged by others, you empower yourself to succeed. So how do you empower yourself to succeed? That answer's easy.

You fail.

I know it may seem counter intuitive that failure breeds success, but it's true. There's an old saying that if you're not failing, you're not working hard enough. You must fail if you want to progress, but more importantly, you must learn from your failures. So when you approach a woman, just keep this one thought in mind:

You are going to fail.

By thinking this way, you know the outcome of the interaction, and that makes it okay to fail, because that's the outcome you determined you were going to have in the first place. And no one can judge you on that, because that's what you set out to do. Failure is not something to be afraid of, it's something to learn from. Fail enough times, you will eventually succeed.

I'll end this article with an old philosophy of mine: Expect the worst, prepare for the best. If you expect the worst, you will never be disappointed with any outcome you have with a woman, because the worst you can expect is maybe a slap in the face.

You prepare for the best by having good material and understanding what to say to a woman.

Knowing what to say is one of the single most important things to eliminating uncertainty and building a knowledge base when it comes to interactions with women.