Finding a Soul Mate

We've all seen the movies – the heroine and the hero have fought like wildcats in the first act, and by the close of the movie, it's clear that they are a Destined Pair, one another's true soul mate. Cinema and potboiler romance novels have been built off of this conceit ever since the Bronte sisters. And yet, somehow, reality mostly seems to fall short of this. People search for relationships with the highest of expectations and the greatest of hopes, only to have them dashed on the shoals of breakups, reality and incompatibility, leading many to ask – is there a soul mate for me?

Surprisingly enough, the answer is yes. Soul mates are people whose beliefs and personalities mesh complementary to your own. They're two halves that make a greater whole, and two people who spend a lifetime journey with each other. It happens a bit more commonly than most people think it does, and happens when people tend to not be 'actively searching' for their soul mate.

What usually happens when a soul mate is found is that it usually starts out as a friendship, with a little bit of chemistry. Not necessarily sexual chemistry, but finding little in jokes that only the two of you find amusing, rapidly developing a shorthand code, or the ability to read the shrug of a shoulder, or the jut of a hip like a book. Soul mates thrive on communication first, and that should be the first thing you evaluate.

Listen to your subconscious on this. There's a part of your brain that works the entire time, processing pattern recognition, vocal inflection and more. If you find that your attention wanders, no matter how much you want to focus on this person, it's time to let them go back into the pool. If you find that you notice strange happenstances, and minor bits of magic around them, fortune smiling on the two of you, that could very well be your hindbrain trying to overcome your inherent skepticism on the entire prospect.

Understand that finding a soul mate is not a rational, orderly process. There is no chemistry test, or online testing profile that can measure the soul. At best, they can be used to weed out people who you're going to be incompatible with on other levels, which means that there is a purpose to them. But they are by no means a guarantee.

For that matter, it's possible for you to meet your soul mate at the wrong time in your life, or theirs. Meant to be doesn't necessarily mean successful relationship on the first (or even fifteenth) go around on the dating and relationship carousel. Sometimes, people's souls may call, and their psychology isn't quite ready for this yet. Or their spiritual maturity doesn't match their partner's. This is why the Hollywood romance formula works; it demonstrates two people overcoming the differences that separate them to find that soul mate union that they, and everyone else desires.