What Do People Do To Meet Each Other?

There was a time when I, being lonely and clueless, spent a ton of time in front of my computer or tv, instead of interacting with others. I used to wonder: "How do we meet each other?"

At that time in my life, I might as well be asking myself Buddhist koans, like "if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around, does it make a sound?" I just figured no one knew. But I'd be reminded every of the question whenever I went out in public and saw a guy and girl together.

How do people meet each other?

Or more specifically, how do guys meet women? What does everyone else know that I don't? Why am I alone and they are with somebody? What is the secret?

Once I decided to take control of my life and make a concerted effort to meet women, I discovered the secret. And it's a secret that's so simple, so obvious, that I wonder why I didn't know it before. Some of you out there reading this probably already know the secret, some might be like I was and not be aware of it. But when you hear it, this secret will make perfect sense. So are you ready to hear it? The secret to meeting other people is

You talk to them.

Was I right? Is it obvious? I know it may seem rather simplistic, but this is probably the single most important notion there is when it comes to getting a girlfriend/wife/booty call, or what have you. If you do not talk to someone, you will never MEET them.

And you can't have a relationship with someone you never meet.

The simple act of talking to a woman can lead to so many different things:

--You get an idea about her personality

--You can see what you have in common

--You get an idea of whether or not there is some chemistry there.

--You give yourself an opening to get her contact information

--You establish a level of trust and comfort that will allow you to ask her out later on

All this from the simple act of moving your mouth and having words come out!

It is because of this concept that I wrote my book, The Art Of Approaching, because there is so much to know about meeting women. You can talk to them, but what if they don't respond favorably? What if you run out of stuff to talk about? What if you can't even think of something to talk about at all?

This is why we have openers.

I've mentioned openers before in my other letters, and a lot in my book. But having a good opener is really, really imperative, so just mentioning it once or twice isn't enough.

If you don't have a good opener when you approach a woman, you are risking a lot on what you initially say. Will it:

1. Get her to talk to you

2. Keep her talking

Maybe what you say will get her to respond with a "Yes or no" answer. If that's the case, where do you go from there?

Maybe what you have to say will get her to explain something to you, but will it really engage her in conversation? Will she continue to talk to you so you can establish that "trust and comfort" foundation you'll need to get her information?

These are the factors you have to take into account when you go about meeting a woman. Here are some examples of openers you want to avoid:

"Do you know where X is?"

"Do I know you from somewhere?"

"That's a nice X you're wearing."

"Do you come here often?"

The list goes on. But if you look at all those statements above, they don't really lead anywhere. They're not engaging, they're not interesting, and they will not help you get to know the woman you're talking to any better.

Try out this opener whenever you decide to go out next. When you see an interesting woman you'd like to meet, walk up and ask her:

"Hey, I got a quick question. Do you read your horoscope?"

See how this opener differs from the ones above? You're not asking her an ordinary question she hears a million times a day, and there's an intriguing element to it. Most women are interested in horoscopes and other new-agey stuff, so even if they DON'T read their horoscope, they may be interested in why you're asking the question.

If she says YES, it is easy to ask her what her sign is and what her horoscope is telling her. This is great because she will be giving you information about herself that you can use to your advantage in the conversation.

If she says NO, ask her if she's ever checked her horoscope before and then ask her what her sign is.

No matter what she says, always follow up with "Hmmm. That's interesting"

When she asks "Why?" say "Well, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but you know what they say about Pisces (or Aries, or Scorpio, or whatever her sign is)?"

By now she'll be really interested. Follow up by saying "Pisces (Aries, etc.) women are the most sensual women out there."

Watch her reaction, and then follow up with a story to get the conversation flowing. Here's one I use:

"I know this because my ex girlfriend was a Pisces (Aries, whatever), and she was the most sensual woman you'll ever meet. We used to have so much fun together, doing all sorts of wild things, she was totally open to doing anything. I used to think it was just her, but every Pisces woman I've dated has always been really fun. What's the wildest thing you've ever done?"

See how that works? You set it up so that you present her with a role you want her to adopt (being sensual and fun and open to anything), and show it in a positive light. And even if she doesn't agree with your assessment of her sign, you're getting her to share with you what wild stuff she HAS done.

One thing leads to another, and you are talking with her!

You'll want to have at least three good openers, along with follow up stories, to start and continue with your conversations.